Marc Dion from Creators Syndicate Creators Syndicate is an international syndication company that represents cartoonists and columnists of the highest caliber. en Wed, 18 Jul 2018 02:49:42 -0700 Marc Dion from Creators Syndicate fb7b87ada7b4d3d57535a24b05a5f3c1 Good Habits for 07/16/2018 Mon, 16 Jul 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Somebody once told me olive oil was a good thing to put in your body, so for six months, I got up in the morning, poured myself a shot glass full of olive oil, and banged it back like a shot of whiskey. Then, I made coffee.</p> <p>I proudly told the woman who gave me the olive oil tip what I was doing.<p>Updated: Mon Jul 16, 2018</p> 0c08c23ea83c7b9a19f712738a76d990 But What About Our Troops? for 07/09/2018 Mon, 09 Jul 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>"If beans is what we got, beans is what we eat."</p> <p>That's something my mother used to say. The saying and the attitude come from the Great Depression, a 1930s patriotic event during which her family almost starved to death.<p>Updated: Mon Jul 09, 2018</p> a1f6166582453b269f472232aae802ed The Last Union Stronghold for 06/29/2018 Fri, 29 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>The real aristocrats of the working class aren't bartenders, they're cops &#8212; and firefighters. If the place where you live is poor enough, they're $30,000 a year clerks in city hall &#8212; and high school janitors.</p> <p>A recent Supreme Court decision is going to make it hard for those workers to exercise power through their unions.<p>Updated: Fri Jun 29, 2018</p> 4a4be0885c66840eaabccb5c1b8d055b Hitler Was a Hero for 06/25/2018 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Despite what my left-leaning friends say, there is a big difference between President Donald J. Trump and Adolf Hitler.</p> <p>Hitler was a hero.<p>Updated: Mon Jun 25, 2018</p> c903d2bd9d1b1f110c9cdfe3c9b8d57b Trump Will Win Again for 06/18/2018 Mon, 18 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>If nothing goes really wrong, President Donald J. Trump can win re-election. This is particularly true if the Democratic Party runs some caricature of liberalism like Elizabeth Warren. She'd be a better president than Trump, but she'd be a worse candidate than Hillary Clinton. Female, extremely liberal and from Massachusetts, she'd get the same numbers that Clinton did in the same places that Clinton did, and that's not good enough.</p> <p>You want to know why Trump is on the path to winning?<p>Updated: Mon Jun 18, 2018</p> 1c206febb95e0cebb610f170af47dbc6 God Bless Wherever for 06/11/2018 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>I really believe President Donald Trump, big-brained, many-worded upholder of the Bible and the flag, could forget the words to "99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall." After all, he forgets he's married from time to time. Hello, Stormy? President Elvis is waiting in the jungle room.</p> <p>Well, maybe Trump wouldn't forget the words to "99 Bottles of Beer." He' just sing the first 12-pack, and then figure he'd had his beer, and he'd go bankrupt.<p>Updated: Mon Jun 11, 2018</p> 45dc5e4a053eb8617ca83cdcadaa7092 The Soda Bottle on the Dinner Table for 06/04/2018 Mon, 04 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>A lot of the women President Donald Trump knows can be seen naked on the internet: his wife, Stormy Daniels, Kim Kardashian.</p> <p>When you catch your teenage daughter sending naked pictures of herself to her boyfriend, don't get tense.<p>Updated: Mon Jun 04, 2018</p> ca6a38083c9d36bf331f68959fb82909 Snowflake Kitten for 05/28/2018 Mon, 28 May 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p></p><p>"The last P, well, that's not that simple<p>Updated: Mon May 28, 2018</p> 6818df168141035b5ed95ed050e80676 The Columnist's Cookbook for 05/21/2018 Mon, 21 May 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p>When readers send me emails, they often ask me for one of my favorite recipes.</p> <p>OK, so they don't.</p> <p>Usually when readers send me emails, they call me a "filthy communist," suggest that I move to another country, or sometimes offer to shoot me in case I'm too scared of guns to shoot myself.<p>Updated: Mon May 21, 2018</p> 01497c854df3549307b89a62968be9a4 Me and Cigars for 05/14/2018 Mon, 14 May 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>I like a cigar every so often.</p> <p>I smoke Te-Amo cigars, a relatively cheap Mexican brand that the cigar reviewers says has an "earthy" flavor. They taste a little like dirt, is what they taste like, but cigar reviewers write in a style that begs to be read in a leather chair, so they're not gonna write "tastes like dirt."<p>Updated: Mon May 14, 2018</p> 65c4f09c840fde27e9c4506160589c53 The Dollar Store Saved Us for 05/07/2018 Mon, 07 May 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>In the city where I live, we have 88,000 people, 17 dollar stores and a Walmart.</p> <p>This why North Korea backed down.<p>Updated: Mon May 07, 2018</p> 26b7bae519e543d6b4f2131576b053d1 I'm a Protected Species for 04/30/2018 Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>I'm 60. I'll be 61 next month. If life is a 9-5 shift at work, I've just returned from my 3 p.m. coffee break. I'll be getting off work soon. Because I personally have always envisioned death as an endless fifth grade snow day, I'm fine with the approaching end of my shift.</p> <p>Still, there's mighty little to celebrate about advancing age, and if age has brought me any wisdom, you wouldn't know it to look at the $40 credit card receipt from my last visit to a bar. When did mediocre Irish whiskey start selling for $6.25 a shot? Death will solve that, too, since one of my old French-Canadian uncles once told me whiskey is free in heaven.<p>Updated: Mon Apr 30, 2018</p> 24f04eaabf692bb3a228b4abad0369ba So You Wanna Be a 'Journalist'? for 04/23/2018 Mon, 23 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p></p><p>Sean Hannity and Alex Jones, two men who pick at American journalism the way small birds peck at the carcass of a pig, are both in legal trouble.<p>Updated: Mon Apr 23, 2018</p> 1fab72347c3a5118680db04c32f561b0 I Ain't Did Nothin' for 04/16/2018 Mon, 16 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>President Donald Trump, a pus-filled boil on the American backside, could learn what to expect from a long ago friend of mine who made his living as a professional criminal.</p> <p>"You can do crimes for 10 years, and you never get arrested," he said. "You get arrested once, you get arrested every 23 months for the rest of your life."<p>Updated: Mon Apr 16, 2018</p> 6ce5904bb40f9ee0eaab4f06fdcb988d I Was Right About Trump's Wall for 04/09/2018 Mon, 09 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>I remember my bartender father coming home with scraped knuckles.</p> <p>"I could tell when the guy walked in there was something wrong with him," Pop said as my mother poured Mercurochrome into the small abrasions, the results of breaking up a fight and having to hit the guy who looked like something was wrong with him.<p>Updated: Mon Apr 09, 2018</p> 4bfe02e125d11e3f8eb47782059eeb2d Get the Chicken, It's Good: The Death of Alton Sterling for 04/02/2018 Mon, 02 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Down in Louisiana, where the alligators grow fat and the politicians aren't far behind, where, in some communities, generations of semiliterate people have lived knee-deep in the toxic sewer of the oil industry, the cops shot Alton Sterling in 2016. Recently, the last door closed on Sterling. There will be no charges filed against the officers.</p> <p>Alton Sterling is a golfer's name.<p>Updated: Mon Apr 02, 2018</p> ae90169096dff0923ffb272f3262f40b Cigarettes and Coffee for 03/26/2018 Mon, 26 Mar 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Back in 2006, President Donald J. Trump is supposed to have played a brief game of bump and shove with a porn star named after a bottle of whiskey.</p> <p>Trump met Ms. Stormy Daniels, the star of "Sex Door Neighbors," when she was appearing with Trump at a celebrity golf tournament, an event that can best be described as "money porn." Trump finished behind most of the other players. In fact, Trump as beaten by former Vice President Dan Quayle, a man most Americans couldn't pick out of a box of jelly doughnuts.<p>Updated: Mon Mar 26, 2018</p> 0f1f63f9ced0ee02e05219131a5b2c53 Revolution on My Street for 03/19/2018 Mon, 19 Mar 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>I live in New England, and there was a snowstorm this week. We got 18 inches of snow, and most of us hope that's it for the year. During the storm before that, we got 17 inches, and the people on my street didn't think the city did a very good job of plowing. It seemed like it took them an awfully long time to get the street down to bare pavement.</p> <p>And we know how plow drivers are. They're government employees who have bloated paychecks and health care that they shouldn't have because we don't. They all have lifetime jobs and they spend most of their time kowtowing to union bosses.<p>Updated: Mon Mar 19, 2018</p> 26a658a31c174393df3358bfbfd25c44 Secret Ballot for 03/12/2018 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 00:00:00 -0700 <p></p><p>Here's a little story from the 1960s.</p> <p>My parents were ordinary working people. They went to Mass every week. They voted in every election. My father was a World War II combat veteran. My mother had worked in a defense plant, making rubber seals for gas masks on the second shift. Neither one was a college graduate. My father was the child of immigrants. My mother worked in banks. My father began as a bartender, but worked his way into midlevel management at a sporting goods company. We never owned a new car. Neither one of them was ever arrested. They stayed married until my father died.<p>Updated: Mon Mar 12, 2018</p> f7d61e832e2b074ee127e6034afe3a10 A Few Notes for a New National Anthem for 03/05/2018 Mon, 05 Mar 2018 00:00:00 -0800 <p></p><p>"Oh, say can you see the holster on me?</p> <p>I have fed it my vote and the lives of my children."<p>Updated: Mon Mar 05, 2018</p>