Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

Q: I read your site about parents and teachers needing to be united and commend you for this undertaking. Parents and teachers are divided largely due to parents being kept in the dark about what is going on in their child's school. This happens because teachers fear talking and risking consequences.

The silent epidemic is principal abuse of teachers. When principals abuse teachers, teachers are powerless to discipline or teach effectively in the classrooms. Then the children suffer, and the parents get mad at the teachers when the responsibility falls directly on the principal. No leadership/no success equals unhappy teachers/uneducated children/angry parents, which leads to chaos. Parents need to know the truth.

A: There are many teachers and parents that would disagree with you on your principal abuse theory, although there's considerable research that tells us that good principals are critical to the leadership of good schools. I know our schools are far from perfect, but I truly believe that, for the most part, they do a great job educating children with a huge variety of educational and psychological needs. Both principals and teachers need parental support, and parents benefit from educator support. Furthermore, principals and teachers should help each other. We're all in this together and our children depend on our being united.

Here are some interesting acrostics that I arranged for how teachers and parents can improve communication about students.

HOW PARENTS CAN COMMUNICATE TO TEACHERS:

Ally with the teacher privately about your concerns.

Listen to what the teacher has observed about your child.

Learn about what the teacher thinks is best for your child.

Initiate a conversation about your child's strengths and problems.

Ask about experimental ideas for engaging and interesting curricular and extracurricular activities.

Negotiate to find appropriate adult and peer role models.

Consent to alternatives if experimental opportunities are not effective.

Extend possibilities patiently.

HOW TEACHERS CAN COMMUNICATE TO PARENTS:

Ally with the parents privately about your concerns.

Listen to what the parents have observed about their child.

Learn about what the parents think is best for their child.

Initiate a conversation about the student's strengths.

Add experimental ideas for engaging and interesting curricular and extracurricular activities.

Negotiate to find appropriate adult and peer role models.

Consider alternative possibilities if experimental opportunities are not effective.

Extend possibilities patiently.

What do you think? Perhaps you could write something similar to compare principal and teacher communication.

Teachers are a strong profession group; they should be able to improve their relationship with principals. Consider that most principals were teachers at an earlier time.

For free newsletters about a united front or the book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades" (Great Potential Press, 2008), send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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