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Unconditional Love
It's that Mother's Day-Father's Day time of the year, so today we salute one of each who got it right.
PAM: We struggled with infertility. I was afraid to adopt because I was afraid the biological parent would take the baby away. There was a big …Read more.
Big Can Be Beautiful
Last week we heard from Roberta. She's been fat all her life. At her heaviest, she was clinically obese at 465 pounds. Through a gastric bypass, she got down to 180 pounds. She's now about 250.
But no matter her weight, Roberta always had plenty of …Read more.
I'm Fat, but You're Ugly and I Can Diet
Fat is a four-letter word.
People who wouldn't dream of making fun of a homosexual, who would die before pointing out a person with a disability, people who consider themselves post-racist, tolerant, all-embracing, evolved and benevolent somehow …Read more.
He Dreamt of Jeannie, but Jeannie Didn't Dream of Him
We recently met TIME TRAVELER, 19, who says he dreamt of a woman that he believes he's known in previous lives. He met someone who looked exactly like the woman in his dream, and didn't know what to do.
MARTY: TIME TRAVELER sounds a lot like me at …Read more.
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Did You Hear the One About How to Get a Fat Woman Into an Elevator?
Grease her hips and throw in a Twinkie.
Fat women are about the last group that it's OK to make fun of.
As in: Q: What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common?
A: They both need three tugs to get into their slips.
I searched the Internet to find any jokes about Roseanne's TV costar John Goodman. I couldn't find any. And he's way fatter than she is.
Here are your thoughts:
LOUISA: Obesity is the best sign of all that something is terribly wrong. You're eating all the wrong foods and too much of them while still not getting the nutrition your body needs. It starts when you think driving through McDonald's is the same as having a meal.
It's fat, sugar, salt, sawdust, mystery "meat" and all kinds of chemicals designed to appeal as addictively as possible to your taste buds while providing the cheapest possible ingredients.
And it's not really better if you pick up a frozen lasagna and stick it in the oven. I believe that heavily processed food and fast food is crap and that people are misled into an attachment to it that leads to horrible outcomes. It's especially tragic when it happens to children.
People come in all shapes and sizes, yes. But if you're 200 pounds and not 6 feet tall, then you are not feeding yourself well.
When it comes to food, you're doing it wrong. The good news is that you can wise up.
JENNIFER: Some heavy people eat junk food and believe the McDonald's drive-through is a good place to get a meal, but there are plenty of thin people who eat very poorly, and there are heavy people, like me, who eat whole foods, six to 10 servings of fruits and veggies a day, high-quality protein, healthy fats, no soda, very few desserts or starches, and still retain fat.
Oh, and I exercise 60 to 90 minutes a day. And my resting heart rate is under 60.
The attitude that fat people are fat only because they don't know better than to eat at McDonald's is as patronizing as the attitudes of people who assume that fat = lazy or fat = sloppy. Sometimes fat is just fat.
LISA: I feel that people who are overweight suffer from an over-eating addiction similar to alcoholism, bulimia, anorexia, illicit drugs, spending money, hoarding and gambling. These addictions defy logic, and although people may be intelligent in most areas of their lives, for some reason the power of the addiction is stronger than their ability to control it.
Outsiders who do not suffer from the same addiction have a difficult time understanding, hence the hurtful comments, which are sometimes meant with good intentions.
Have you struggled with your weight and/or eating disorders? How has it affected your relationships? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.
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Are you and your partner very different in some basic way? Age? Race? Religion? Political affiliation? How's that working for you? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.
COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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Comments
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5 Comments | Post Comment
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Here's the thing,though: talk all you want about how "you are doing it wrong", Louisa. When obesity becomes an epidemic, as it has been described in our society, it is a sign that something is vastly wrong with the way our society and culture are structured.
When one or two people die in a crash at an unmarked intersection, we say, "he ran the stop sign" or "she was drunk" "the brakes on her car were shot" or "He failed to yield." If a dozen people die at that intersection within the space of 2 years or so, people start to recognize that the environment is partly to blame, and they add signage or a light or extra lanes or whatever the problem is to reduce the number of deaths.
Comment: #1
Posted by: hedgehog
Sat May 11, 2013 6:22 AM
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Re: hedgehog
I don't disagree at all. Some of the worst stuff that masquerades as food is so-called "diet" food. The odds are stacked against people. Corporations who make processed and "fast" foods are really good at manipulating tastes and creating what looks like healthy food, but is really pretty awful. They want you to like it and eat a lot of it and go right back and buy a lot more. They make a lot of money off of obesity.
Until health issues in my own family became critical, it never occurred to me to care how much salt/sodium there was in something. All I noticed were fat or calories and maybe sugar. Now I can see that the common denominator of everything that's bad for you is actually high salt.
If a processed food is labeled low fat, it probably has a lot of sugar. If it's sugar-free, it has artificial sweeteners in it, if it's high fiber it might even contain sawdust, you just can't win this way. But they all contain way too much salt. Salt adds flavor and masks low quality ingredients.
A friend once told me that nobody ever became obese from eating too many fresh cherries. I don't know for sure that this is accurate, but I know my own weight has never been an issue because of eating too much fresh food. It's a good thing the more raw or simply cooked food you enjoy. If you cook fresh produce and grains and beans with lime juice, ginger, garlic, and other herbs and spices instead of just adding salt and pepper to everything, you can get used to eating a lot less salt very quickly. And once you get used to less salt, it's amazing how repugnant salty processed and fast foods become.
It's very true that if something happens once or twice, it's a tragedy, but if it happens to a third of the population it's normal. Don't let obesity be your normal. Eat more fresh, unprocessed or lightly processed foods. Read labels. Run from salt. You don't have to buy only fresh produce. When you buy canned tomatoes or green beans, look for "NO ADDED SALT" on the label. You'll get better quality vegetables, better tasting vegetables, and better for you.
Comment: #2
Posted by: LouisaFinnell
Sat May 11, 2013 12:52 PM
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I"d go even further than that, Louisa. Cars are the norm, and we no longer live within walking distance of employment -- a commute of 15 minutes drive time is considered short. The "desirable" areas where many people choose to live are unsullied by development -- so it's a drive to school, the grocery store, the drug store, church, as well as work. Trying to walk them is dangerous, because there are often are no sidewalks to shield pedestrians from cars traveling 30, 40, 50 mph.
People are working longer hours; cutbacks have often left skeletal staffs and the remaining employees are trying to keep the doors open so they don't join the unemployed. The elderly are living longer, meaning there are more demands on adult children with work and children of their own, to make sure that Mom's got the prescriptions she need, that her walk is shoveled, that Dad is eating right. Kids are needing to be ferried to & from after-school violin lessons, soccer practice, Girl Scouts.
So those processed convenience foods -- just heat and eat! -- look, to the person who is expected to get dinner on the table after 9.5 hours of work, a 45-min. commute, and a trip to the pharmacy for Mom and getting Gina to the dentist -- like a better option than the drive-through at McDonald's or pickup from Boston Market. Forget chopping veggies or cooking from scratch (assuming she knows how to do it; many of today's moms had working moms who practically invented the term "convenience foods.") She's got 3 or 4 people asking "When's dinner?" and the faster dinner gets on the table, the sooner they can all get moving to tonight's school board meeting, the study date, the piles of laundry by the washer and the treats that need to be made for someone to bring in to school or office the next day.
It's a frantic, overcrowded lifestyle that promotes eating on the run and the processed foods that make that possible. Eating better is a good start, but recognize that it does involve more than what you buy at the grocery store -- it involves major shifting of priorities, and possibly making some other, seemingly unrelated, choices to help make it possible to continue your commitment. (Garden? Smaller house and yard closer to work? Fewer activities for the kids? Moving Mom in with you instead of subsidizing the assisted living facility?)
P.S. -- "Nobody ever got obese from eating too many fresh cherries" -- probably true. They will, however, most likely experience some digestive issues from eating too many fresh cherries all at once sitting!
Comment: #3
Posted by: hedgehog
Sun May 12, 2013 7:08 AM
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Wow, hedgehog, you nailed it.
I don't have children at home any longer, and my parents are in good shape, and I still have problems juggling. It's up before 6 AM, home from work at or after 5 PM, and then a few hours in the evening to do everything that needs to be done. Weekends fly by like nothing. And yes, it's running to the grocery store, etc. My commute is about 35 minutes each way.
I've made some changes, though - I spend some time on Saturday and Sunday preparing foods for the week. I buy apples, oranges, grapes, etc. that can just go right into my lunch bag with no prep work. Ditto baby cut carrots and other veggies. No more milk, cereal, etc. for breakfast. I make protein shakes. I make sure I have healthy snacks on hand like yogurt, nuts, or sunflower seeds instead of snack cakes. I always take my lunch to work. It saves money and I eat healthy, low calorie foods instead of high calorie take out. Since the end of June 2012, I have lost 67 lbs. and I feel so much better. I will never be as thin as society thinks people should be, but I feel good and I'm happy with myself.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Rebecca
Sun May 12, 2013 10:41 AM
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Rebecca, that's AWESOME. Congrats.
I don't want anyone to think I'm saying it cannot be done -- you are living proof that it can. I just think it's about time people who've never had to battle a weight problem recognize that they are often more fortunate than virtuous, that the cumulative effects of all these unrelated factors tends to result in more people becoming physically inactive for longer stretches of the day, in more calories (and more empty calories) being consumed, and more obesity.
Comment: #5
Posted by: hedgehog
Sun May 12, 2013 1:41 PM
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