Blind Dates From Hell Most blind dates turn out to be disasters, but every now and then ... SARAH: "I spent the first year I was separated from my husband going nowhere except with my kids. Finally, needing some adult conversation (I'm a special ed teacher), I went …Read more. A Younger Version When they met, Ryan was 42; Haley was 23. They moved in together, but they couldn't get married. Ryan's wife of 18 years wouldn't give him a divorce. That was what he told Haley, plus he loved his kids very much, and that was why he had dinner with …Read more. Mr. Rumpelstiltskin He says: "Goodnight. It was fun. I'll give you a call." She hears: "I may be falling in love. I'll call you tomorrow and the day after that for the rest of our lives." Some women suffer from The Rumpelstiltskin Complex. They create whole futures out …Read more. Do You Have an Achy-Breaky Heart? How do you mend a broken heart? It remains one of the world's great riddles. Here are some of your remedies: JASON: "I enlisted in the Army, did three tours in Afghanistan. By the time I came home, I barely remembered her name." JULIET: "My MO is to …Read more.more articles
And Ferret Makes Three
When it comes down to "One of us has to go, Rover or me," don't hold your breath. When a pet comes between a man and a woman, Rover usually wins.
"Drew's mother said to me when we started dating, 'If he treats you half as well as his dog, you've got it made,'" Joanne recalls. "Unfortunately, I never got much of a chance to compare our treatment. The first night I was in his apartment, I started sneezing. An allergy I didn't know I had apparently was brought on by Drew's sheepdog.
"Things started to go bad after that, then the relationship fizzled out altogether. I believe to this day it was because Drew felt threatened by my allergy. He was afraid that sooner or later he might have to choose between me and Sadie. And Sadie was the dog, not his mother."
In another tale, a German shepherd named Bullitt made Russ finally see what he was avoiding.
"My year-long relationship with Marta had probably been going downhill for a while, but I had been ignoring it because I wanted to things to work out. We went from seeing each other three times a week to maybe once a week. I blamed that on everything except the true cause, which was she was losing interest.
"She started using Bullitt as an excuse. She began saying that she couldn't stay over because she had to be home to take care of him. Before, she'd have her neighbor let the dog out. Still, I realized I couldn't blame the end of the relationship on Bullitt.
"One Friday night I had a date with Marta. She called me up around 5 o'clock and said, 'Oh, I'm sorry, Bullitt seems sad. I'm going to stay home and watch TV with him tonight.' That was pretty much the end of our wonderful relationship. Anyway, I didn't send her a birthday card this year, but I did send one to Bullitt. He never did me any harm, and I still have warm feelings for him after spending so much time with him. Also, I didn't want him to feel sad on his birthday."
In Faith's case, man won out over ferret, but it turned out to be the wrong choice after all.
"Two years ago when my then-fiance asked me to move in with him, I excitedly did so, and my pet ferret Barnaby came with me," Faith says. "Kyle and Barnaby weren't exactly on good terms, as animals seem to sense when someone dislikes them. They instantly hit it off poorly.
"To Kyle, if it wasn't a dog, it wasn't a pet. To me, Barnaby was a cuddly, affectionate critter. To Kyle, he was a rabid, toe-nipping vermin, and he made repeated threats to 'accidentally' let him loose outside.
"One month and several toe-sabotages later, Kyle came to me with an ultimatum: 'It's that thing or me.' Well, I sold the ferret, and two years later, one year into a bad marriage, I realized I had gotten rid of the wrong one. In fact, I found that Barnaby was actually more affectionate, more fun to be with and never said, 'That's not how my mother does it."'
Did a pet break up your relationship? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."
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