Regrets? He Has One Big One Jason was at a New Year's Eve party with some friends, and they started talking about regrets. What do you regret most? Jason answered honestly. "I admitted that there were some things I would like to say to an old flame if I ever had the chance. I …Read more. It Was More Than a "Bit" of a Problem When Harley met Casey on a blind date, she thought he was "the most wonderful, sensitive and loving man." He was a great conversationalist and a fabulous dancer, and he treated her like a queen. But there was a bit of problem. Casey told Harley he …Read more. His Friend Is a Jerk -- And He's no Prize Dear Cheryl, I have a computer. My husband knows nothing about computers and doesn't want to learn. But he wanted to communicate with a friend, so I let him use my email address. His friend immediately started sending me dirty jokes. I showed them …Read more. Living in a Minefield Isn't it funny how you can live with someone day in and day out — wash his clothes, cook him meals — and never really know him? Jasmine and Tony were "happily" married for 14 years. "All in all, I was very happy with my life," she says. …Read more.more articles
Yes, Virginia, There Is Such a Thing as a Happy Marriage
Between the high divorce rate and the couples who don't bother to make it legal, marriage doesn't have a very good reputation these days. Which is why it's nice to start the New Year with a letter from Gretchen who tells her tale of a truly happy marriage ...
"My husband and I have been married for almost 40 years, and although we've had some very tough times, we weathered the storms and are enjoying the best time of our lives. We married when I was 18 and he was 20, just before he went into the army. I doubt that anyone at our wedding gave us much of a chance. That first year, I waited every day for the mailman to bring me a letter. I would touch something my husband had touched while I read his words of love.
"He returned home at 4 a.m. one day. I can still remember rushing into his arms. He swung me around and gave me the biggest kiss. We had our first child 9 1/2 months after he came home, our second 18 months later, and our last one two years after that.
"He worked full time at IBM and went to school at night full time to obtain his degree. He started at the bottom of the corporate ladder and retired after 36 years pretty much near the top. All three children are college graduates and contributing members of society, all married and each with two children of their own.
"We didn't have a lot when they were growing up, but we did have a lot of love! I never thought we were struggling, even though we were.
"Even though I struggled with many illnesses due to difficult pregnancies, including post-partum depression, we grew stronger and deeper in love. My husband is my best friend, and I can't imagine anyone I would rather be with. We still have so much fun when we're together, and we do laugh a lot!
"We don't have a lot of common interests (I love to gamble, and he doesn't; he loves sports, and I just tolerate them, etc.), but we love and respect each other enough to compromise. He'll come to the casino with me and hang out, and I go to sporting events with him and hang out.
"Whoever said marriage is a 50-50 proposition got it all wrong. Sometimes one partner needs 100 percent and the other has to give it. So many young marriages fail today, and I'm always so sad when I hear that a couple married only a couple of years are splitting up. They haven't even begun to know what a marriage is. A real marriage begins after the first heat of passion fades, and becomes something deeper and so much more meaningful.
"I believe the secrets to a long and successful marriage are compromise, communication, friendship, laughter, love and, of course, passion. To say, after almost 40 years of marriage, that I'm more in love with my husband now than the day we were married says a lot. Each day is a gift, and now that we have more days behind us than we have in front of us, each day is sweeter than the one before."
Did planning your wedding almost ruin your relationship? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."
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