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He's Perfect ... Except


He's perfect in every way, except he calls his pet "my itty-bitty kitty."

She's the love of your life, but does every movie she drags you to have to be subtitled?

Here are some of the little things that drive you cray cray ...

"My husband wears insulated longjohns. When he puts them in the wash, one leg is always turned inside out, the other is the right way and the socks are wadded up in the bottom of each leg. I've asked politely, used sarcasm and finally resorted to screaming. So the way it comes through the laundry is the way it gets washed, dried and folded. Do you know how long it takes wadded-up socks to dry in the ankle of long underwear? At least a week! Before he puts them on again, he has to turn everything right side out anyway."

"Does she have to call her mother every night?"

"Could he ever, ever say 'I don't know'? Does he have to always always make up some bull to cover for the fact that he doesn't know something?"

"She's like a backseat driver during telephone calls. I'll be on the phone. and she'll be saying, 'Tell him this,' 'tell him that.'"

"He tickles me. Just because I laugh, doesn't mean I like it. I hate it! I think it's sadistic."

"She knows how much I hate to be late, so she never makes us late, but she times it so that she's always ready at the very last minute before we would be late. I like a cushion."

"He licks his index finger when he turns a page. I refuse to read the book after that."

"He takes little catnaps during a movie and then wants me to tell him what happened, right there with people getting annoyed in the theater."

"She always wants me to read the last book she read and then is always asking me, 'Where are you? Where are you?'"

"We've been married 25 years, and he still spells my name wrong."

"There's nothing flexible about his eating.

He absolutely has to have three meals a day, no matter what our schedule is. This goes back to the fact that his mother would always prepare elaborate meals, including breakfast."

"She takes off her shoes as soon as she walks in, so by the end of the week there are about four pairs of shoes littering the front hall."

"He puts salt and pepper on everything I make without tasting it first."

"He says 'you know' about three times in every sentence."

"She won't be still in bed while I'm doing my crossword puzzle."

"He's overly familiar. We have only been dating six weeks, and when people ask a question like 'How did you like that restaurant?' he'll jump in and say, 'We really loved it.' I don't think of us as a team with one voice yet."

"She puts on her shoes when she gets dressed and clomps around on the hardwood floors. I'm still trying to sleep. She insists she's tiptoeing."

"She wears heavy lipstick, and it goes above her lip line."

"He drops a coin on the bed, and if it doesn't bounce, he has to redo it."

"Everything in the refrigerator is sticky. She doesn't think it's necessary to wipe off the top of the ketchup or mustard or clean the edges of the butter dish."

"I know this is a cliche, but she squeezes a full tube of tooth paste in the middle, and then if she does put the cap back on, it is only partially on. This allows dried toothpaste to build up and form a crust at the end of the tube. I find it very difficult to use the toothpaste when it is in this condition."

What is there about your partner that makes you nuts? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."



6 Comments | Post Comment
Anyone who expects a partner to be "perfect" is never going to be satisfied with anyone. You just have to make up your mind what you can live with, and what you can't, because it's a guarantee that you are never going to be "perfect" either, and something you do will drive your partner up the wall.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Seabeast2
Sat Nov 22, 2014 4:27 AM
I have an itty-bitty kitty (with a lot more dumb pet names than THAT), I love subtitled movies, there are EIGHT pairs of shoes inside the front door (half are his), I always salt and pepper before tasting (because I know I like extra salt!), I don't wipe off the ketchup, and I squeeze toothpaste tubes in the middle. Guess I'm just unlovable, huh? NOT -- my partner thinks I'm the bee's knees. What is wrong with these people that they get so riled up over minor quirks???

The only things on that list that would bother me are never saying "I don't know," tickling, and answering for me. As far as the longjohns and the three meals a day go, if it drives you that crazy, let him do his own freakin' laundry and cook his own freakin' meals! What years is this, 1952?
Comment: #2
Posted by: Sheila
Sat Nov 22, 2014 5:06 AM
Oh, for the life of Pete, decide what you can and cannot live with, and yes, it's okay to get out of a relationship because of "minor quirks" if they drive you up the wall. If they are driving you up the wall, they are not minor for *you.* And that matters. Also, if your partner is not willing to make some changes in their "minor quirks," for your peace of mind and pleasure, you don't want to be with this person. A person not willing to change the quirks they consider minor for themselves for the sake of their partner is a selfish jerk.

And I am 100% with Sheila on the issue of laundry and meals. The answer to the longjohns is not to let them get washed and dried the way they are, but to not wash them at all. The answer to the three elaborate meals is "You know where the kitchen is, and you are capable of opening the fridge."

The writer who thinks that her BF is too presumptuous with too many "we's" after 6 weeks of dating needs to consider that it's been only 6 weeks. If something drives you nuts after 6 weeks, it's time to move on from this relationship because it isn't really a relationship yet, and you don't want to to become one.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Ariana
Sat Nov 22, 2014 9:11 AM
Nobody's perfect. I tolerate my loved ones' quirks because they tolerate mine. It's what people who love each other do.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Wordsworth
Sat Nov 22, 2014 1:27 PM
To the woman who wishes her SO would say "I don't know" once in a while, I wish my hubby would STOP saying it. He often uses it to invalidate whatever passing comment I happen to make. For example, we saw a TV segment shot in a small town, and I commented that I have cousins there. He said, "I don't know." I said they always did live there, I assume they still do. He gives me a superior smile and repeats, "Well, I just don't know." I said they were my cousins, not his, how should he expect to know where they live? Then he says sarcastically, "Well, then, you certainly know a lot more about that place that I do." Is this a productive conversation?

As for the woman who complains about her husband licking his fingers before turning pages, how is that any different from kissing him? Do you ever take the risk of checking books out of a public library? You never know where those pages have been...
Comment: #5
Posted by: Madelyn
Sat Nov 22, 2014 2:03 PM
Ariana, you have a point. I read a fascinating article years ago, to the effect that, now that there's so much online dating, it's possible to actually collect a lot of data and figure out what makes a successful relationship. One of the things they said was essentially, "Everybody has quirks. For a relationship to last, you have to be with someone who AT LEAST can tolerate your quirks and vice versa -- but the most successful relationships are the ones where you and your partner find each other's quirks endearing." I got me one of those :-)

There's a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing going on, though. I think it's easier to tolerate quirks if you adore the person, right? At least as much as you adore the person with the endearing quirks.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Sheila
Sat Nov 22, 2014 3:15 PM
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