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He's Perfect ... Except
He's perfect in every way, except he calls his pet "my itty-bitty kitty."
She's the love of your life, but does every movie she drags you to have to be subtitled?
Here are some of the little things that drive you cray cray ...
"My husband wears insulated longjohns. When he puts them in the wash, one leg is always turned inside out, the other is the right way and the socks are wadded up in the bottom of each leg. I've asked politely, used sarcasm and finally resorted to screaming. So the way it comes through the laundry is the way it gets washed, dried and folded. Do you know how long it takes wadded-up socks to dry in the ankle of long underwear? At least a week! Before he puts them on again, he has to turn everything right side out anyway."
"Does she have to call her mother every night?"
"Could he ever, ever say 'I don't know'? Does he have to always always make up some bull to cover for the fact that he doesn't know something?"
"She's like a backseat driver during telephone calls. I'll be on the phone. and she'll be saying, 'Tell him this,' 'tell him that.'"
"He tickles me. Just because I laugh, doesn't mean I like it. I hate it! I think it's sadistic."
"She knows how much I hate to be late, so she never makes us late, but she times it so that she's always ready at the very last minute before we would be late. I like a cushion."
"He licks his index finger when he turns a page. I refuse to read the book after that."
"He takes little catnaps during a movie and then wants me to tell him what happened, right there with people getting annoyed in the theater."
"She always wants me to read the last book she read and then is always asking me, 'Where are you? Where are you?'"
"We've been married 25 years, and he still spells my name wrong."
"There's nothing flexible about his eating.
"She takes off her shoes as soon as she walks in, so by the end of the week there are about four pairs of shoes littering the front hall."
"He puts salt and pepper on everything I make without tasting it first."
"He says 'you know' about three times in every sentence."
"She won't be still in bed while I'm doing my crossword puzzle."
"He's overly familiar. We have only been dating six weeks, and when people ask a question like 'How did you like that restaurant?' he'll jump in and say, 'We really loved it.' I don't think of us as a team with one voice yet."
"She puts on her shoes when she gets dressed and clomps around on the hardwood floors. I'm still trying to sleep. She insists she's tiptoeing."
"She wears heavy lipstick, and it goes above her lip line."
"He drops a coin on the bed, and if it doesn't bounce, he has to redo it."
"Everything in the refrigerator is sticky. She doesn't think it's necessary to wipe off the top of the ketchup or mustard or clean the edges of the butter dish."
"I know this is a cliche, but she squeezes a full tube of tooth paste in the middle, and then if she does put the cap back on, it is only partially on. This allows dried toothpaste to build up and form a crust at the end of the tube. I find it very difficult to use the toothpaste when it is in this condition."
What is there about your partner that makes you nuts? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to email@example.com. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."
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