creators home lifestyle web
cheryl lavin


This Knight's Armour Turned to Rust Today's tale is like a good news/bad news joke. The good news — for all the single women who are waiting — is that there really are knights on white horses who can ride into your life. The bad news is that you might be sorry. It hurts …Read more. High School Reunion or Happy Hunting Ground? Is there any living person who hasn't looked at the invitation to his or her high school reunion with a feeling of dread? Is there any single person who hasn't opened it with a mixture of dread and hope? Who hasn't dolled up the night of their 5th, …Read more. How Far Can a Friend Go? We recently heard from AM I TOO CYNICAL, whose lonely friend was about to marry a foreigner she'd met on the Internet two weeks before. She asked her to wait, but her friend refuses. I suggested she tell her friend it would be wise to hire an …Read more. A Little Polishing Can Work Wonders It's no great trick to pick out the great, big, shiny diamond when it's twinkling away in the midst of all the crummy, little rhinestones. But to select the diamond while it's still in the rough takes a little skill and a little luck. The second …Read more.
more articles

Check Your Blind Spots


Andy was working in the emergency room last February when Jan came in with her son, who had a bad cold. Andy wrote a couple of prescriptions.

"There was just something there," says Andy. "She was no great beauty, but she had a weird sense of humor that I liked and I thought, 'I'd like to get know her a little better.'"

Two days later he got the chance when she came in with a bad cold. She and Andy started to see each other, casually. Then in June she fell off a horse and tore the ligaments in her knee. Andy brought her flowers and visited her often. They began to date more frequently and Andy learned that she was involved with Trey. He didn't know how deeply.

What he did know was that he was falling for Jan. "She had everything I was looking for: She was fun, smart, and she gave me a little bit of a run. As soon as we started going out, it just clicked."

Soon they were discussing marriage. Trey had moved out of town, but Andy knew there was still unfinished business between him and Jan. In October he said to her, "Clean up the stuff with him and then let's make some plans." She said, "OK."

This was on a Sunday. The next Tuesday, Andy called Jan's office. Her secretary said he'd better get over there — quick. She was about to leave to see Trey.

Andy raced right over and volunteered to drive Jan to the airport. "I knew this was my last chance with her," he says. "If she got on that airplane, I was dead." He said, "Please — stop and think about what you're about to do." They talked and talked and Jan thanked Andy for bringing her to her senses.

He said, "I love you; I'd marry you today." She said, "Let's do it."

They rushed over to Andy's clinic and had their blood tests done, they had the 24-hour waiting period waived, then they called some friends to come by the courthouse. "At every step, I stopped and asked her if she was sure that she wanted to do this. She said she was." They toasted their marriage in the parking lot with champagne in paper cups.

The next day Andy stopped at Jan's office. "I walked in like I was Rocky," he says. Then, guess who else walked in. Right. Andy says he and Trey had a "bit of a confrontation." Trey was screaming. Andy was screaming. Jan was crying.

Trey finally left. That night when Andy came home, Jan gave him a big hug and sent him upstairs to tuck in his sons. "Those kids would not let go of me," says Andy. "They kept kissing me and hugging me."

The next day, Jan called Andy at work and said she and Trey had to talk to him. To make a long story short, Jan said she had made a big mistake. She had married the wrong man. A few days later, Andy signed his annulment papers. Jan charged him with putting her under "extreme duress." She and Trey will be getting married any day now.

"I'm usually pretty good at spotting weirdos," says Andy, "but she just came at my blind spot."

Or did she? What do you think?

Did Jan fool Andy or did he fool himself? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."



2 Comments | Post Comment
you never get involved with people who have unfinished business. You are deluding yourself that you are in first place in their lives as long as there is any unfinished business.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Laurie
Sat Oct 25, 2014 11:00 PM
It's hard to know what to say about today's column, because we're only hearing Andy's side of things, as filtered through the words of the columnist. Andy seems to feel that to marry someone is to take possession of them. Lavin's description of Andy's rush to marry Jan, reminds me of someone rushing to buy the last used car in a car lot, or buy a house in the middle of a bidding war, before another person who was also interested could grab it away from him. I wonder actually if he would have been that interested, or in that much of a rush, if Trey hadn't been "bidding on the same property." All in all, it does sound like Jan was a wild card, and he's lucky to have avoided ending up with her, because life would likely have been endless drama. I suspect actually that she'll show up on his doorstep in a few months, being chased by Trey or some other loser, begging Andy to save her from her dumb decisions ... if he's wise he'll stay off the merry-go-round.
Comment: #2
Posted by: sarah morrow
Sat Oct 25, 2014 11:26 PM
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right: comments policy
Cheryl Lavin
Oct. `14
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
28 29 30 1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31 1
About the author About the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month