That Reminds Me Sometimes a column can spur a memory. A recent column about a woman who was short-changed in a relationship had that effect on Marnie. "The column caused me to totally (mentally) revisit my experience with a high school boyfriend named Reggie. "I …Read more. Girls Going Wild Long before someone figured out a way to make money from it, girls have been going wild. Some are happy about it; others regret it. TANYA: I graduated from college magna cum laude with a chemistry degree. Then I took my MCAT for med school. I didn't …Read more. Why Did She Cheat on a Wonderful Man? Dear Cheryl: I've been married two years to a wonderful, caring, loving, kind man. We have a 1-year-old son together and he's raising my older son as his own. This past summer, I was reunited with an old flame from high school, and we had a very …Read more. Keep Your Mitts Off My Man! Dear Cheryl: My boyfriend Jeremy has a close friend, Lucy. I know men and women can be just friends. In fact, I have more guy friends than girl friends. I'm not jealous of him hanging out with other women in general. But Lucy bothers me because she …Read more.more articles
What's With These Losers?
Dear Cheryl: I'm 53 and my two boys, whom I raised alone, are all in their 20s and independent. For the past year, I've been dating Gage, a wonderful, kind man. Unfortunately, he has a 24-year-old son, Chuck, who lives with him and is very dependent on him. Chuck smokes pot, and I suspect he uses cocaine. He brings friends home almost every other night. They drink his father's beer and liquor.
Chuck has a job and makes $15.50 an hour but never has any money. His father pays for everything. He's been going to community college since 2012, but he still has a good year to go. He lost his driver's license. He's terrible to Gage and tells him to shut up and go back to sleep if his friends wake us up. I can't stand it. But for some reason, Gage seems to have a need to take care of him.
I care for Gage and he for me. He wants me to hang in there. He says his son won't be living with him forever, but I don't see him moving out for some time, if at all. I would like Gage and me to spend the rest of our lives together. We laugh and have fun, but I don't know how long I can put up with Chuck. — I've Just About Had It
Dear IJAHI: Unfortunately, Gage and Chuck are a package deal. Chuck isn't going anywhere. Why should he? And Gage isn't going to kick him out. So where does that leave you?
You've got three choices. No. 1: You can put up with Chuck in order to have a relationship with Gage — which is only going to get harder and harder.
Or No. 3: You can try to get Gage into counseling. Someone has to make him realize that by supporting Chuck, he's turned him into a good-for-nothing bum, and, if he really loves him, he'll use some tough love and kick him out. It won't be pretty, but if someone doesn't intervene, Chuck is headed for a sad, sad life. Jail or an overdose could be in his future.
It's your call.
Dear Cheryl: My ex-boyfriend keeps calling. He's 32 years old and still living with his parents. He barely works. He's basically an unemployed drummer. I'm 12 years older. We had a sexual fling five years ago and we've remained friendly ever since. He's a super nice guy who wouldn't harm a flea, but I really have nothing in common with him.
For the past two years I've been dating someone else. My ex is dying to meet him and be buddies with us. I'm uncomfortable with the idea because I dated him when I was at a low point in my life and desperate. I don't want to be reminded of that. What do I do? — Moved On
Dear Moved On: Tell him your boyfriend is insanely jealous and insists that he stop calling you. Tell him you wish him a happy life and then say goodbye.
Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."
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