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Choosing Between a Spouse and the Other Woman
Dear John, Although I am married, I have done without love and romance for years. Recently I met Cindy, who has rekindled feelings that I had repressed. It is like a new awakening for me! Feelings that I thought were lost have returned. The problem …Read more.
Husband Is Old-School
Dear John, My husband Jack is of the "old school." He thinks that husbands should be cared for and waited on, and I've done this for 37 years. Well, I can't do it all anymore. I have fibromyalgia, which causes acute muscle pain and getting …Read more.
Boyfriend Doesn't Want to Hear About Ex
Dear John, After a long marriage to a drug addict, I found the courage to leave. Although I am no longer in love with him, I do wish him all the best, just without me in the picture. My grown daughter resents my leaving. My grown son, however, is …Read more.
Girlfriend Wants a Break
Dear John, I have been in a fantastic relationship for over two years. My girlfriend, "Carol," has two younger girls, who are great kids. I have two teenage girls who seem to be going through a lot of turmoil over the past couple of months.…Read more.
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Working Together Has Pulled Us ApartDear John, My husband "Jim" and I own a business together. I began working with him so we could spend more time together, but in the 11 years we've been together, the time he spends working has gotten worse — particularly now that we have small children. Jim often says he wants to retire or take a long vacation, but it never happens. Should I wait around for him? —All Work and No Play, in Fremont, Calif. Dear Overtime Wife, Unfortunately, many people define themselves only by their work or financial success. To help him see that life is so much more, plan one weekly family "tradition" event: perhaps a picnic with the children, an ongoing movie and dinner date or even something as simple as a weekly walk to a local ice cream parlor. If possible, have it happen on the same day, preferably on the weekend. In time, this habit will be something that both parents and children look forward to and remember. Also, don't play the victim. Do what you need to do to take time for yourself. Go to the gym, see friends or simply take a walk, even if it means hiring a babysitter for a couple of hours or arranging an ongoing kid-swap with another parent. A well-lived life is filled with good memories and the love of our friends and family. In time — and with your guidance — your husband will realize that his family is truly the greatest source of personal fulfillment.
Dear John, Because of money problems, my boyfriend and I had to move into my parents' house. Unfortunately, every time we try to be close, my mother interrupts us. If we argue, she's always there to ask what happened. I have already told her many times to mind her own business, but she ignores me. When we first moved in, she wasn't happy about it. Now she drops hints about us moving, although she knows we cannot afford to do that. The pressure is pulling us apart. Please help! —No Way Out, in Lakeland, Fla. Dear No Way Out, Your parents are very generous to let an adult child stay with them during this difficult period in your lives. While that generosity doesn't give them the right to insert themselves in your affairs, it brings them closer than may be comfortable for you. Any mother who realizes her child is upset is going to react with concern — no matter how old the child. Knowing this, you have two choices: You and your boyfriend can resolve your issues outside of your parents' home and show a united — and appreciative — front when you are together inside your parents' house, or better yet, you can bite the financial bullet and get your own place. That way, it's much likely that everyone will be happy and show the respect owed all the way around. 2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM 
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