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Discipline

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Dear Larry: Your comment about telling your son not to disrespect his mother when she told him to take out the trash reminded me of a story told by my uncle Gary.

The story was about my uncle Jim, Gary's brother, and my grandfather, Gary and Jim's father. It seems that Uncle Jim was mouthing off to Grandpa and saying some really bad things. He said, "Don't tell me what to do, you old man," plus he used Gen. George Patton-type four-letter adjectives.

Uncle Jim was a part-time boxer and much bigger than my grandfather, so he felt pretty comfortable saying whatever he wanted. Grandpa got really upset with his son and punched Uncle Jim, knocking him unconscious.

My grandmother heard the commotion and screamed, thinking Uncle Jim had been killed. I never was told what my grandfather said to my grandmother.

I do know this: Uncle Jim never mouthed off to Grandpa again. — Sarah

Dear Sarah: The same kind of story happened in my family when my uncle decided to disrespect his father, my grandfather. My uncle sassed my grandfather and didn't follow instructions. My grandfather got so angry that he picked up a small log and hit his son in the head with it. The blow caused brain damage. My uncle spent the next 50 years in a mental hospital.

That incident caused so much fear in the family that none of my grandfather's other children talked back or showed disrespect ever again.

When Grandpa would speak, everyone listened, obeyed and quaked in fear.

Yes, this kind of discipline works, but look at the price a young teenager had to pay.

I never sanction, glamorize or advocate this kind of behavior, because it can and will lead to unintended consequences.

Dear Larry: The recent letter from the grandfather who was angry with everyone, including himself, after the death of his daughter was touching. I used part of the letter for the organization The Compassionate Friends.

I am writing to let you know of the existence of our group. It is a self-help bereavement organization for families going through the natural grieving process after the death of a child. We have nearly 625 chapters in the U.S., and we welcome all bereaved parents, grandparents and adult siblings to our meetings. We are also very multicultural and have members of all ethnic groups and religions.

Anyone wanting to know more about us can find the answers on our national website, at http://www.CompassionateFriends.org.

As an aside, we are holding a worldwide candle lighting Dec. 12. We are asking members and supporters to light candles in their homes in remembrance of all children who have died. — Dennis

Dear Dennis: Thank you for the information. I wish you much success. I do not recommend lighting candles except in the case of real emergencies. Out-of-control candles have caused many home fires.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Comments

5 Comments | Post Comment
How awful about your grandfather and his son, Mr. Meeks. A true family tragedy. Was your grandfather incarcerated for his crime? It sounds like he never was held accountable, and he certainly should have been.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Barbara E.
Sat Nov 27, 2010 3:43 AM
I may be crazy but i think there is a big diffrence between hitting someone with you hand (punching or slapping) and taking a log to someones head... anytime you confrontsomeone physically you take a risk but a punch in the fave is diffrent from a head bashing. But i could be crazy...
Comment: #2
Posted by: lilly
Wed Dec 1, 2010 10:11 AM
@Lily....you're not crazy. Someone who'd hit someone else in the head with a log, is.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Matt
Wed Dec 1, 2010 6:55 PM
The problem I always see with hitting is this; what do you do when your son or daughter is too big to discipline with a smack? What will you do if they don't mind a smack?
Comment: #4
Posted by: Roger
Wed Dec 1, 2010 11:11 PM
@Roger. The answer to your query is this: Stop corporal punishment several years before that happens. While it has its uses in the early years of childhood, there comes a time when it's no longer appropriate. Continuing it after that is not only ineffective, it can lead to some of the problems that its critics fear.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Matt
Sat Dec 4, 2010 12:08 AM
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