Dear Margo: I'm having problems with my father. He's a pastor and a leader of the community, and for as long as I can remember, he has been very morally upright.

However, lately he's been doing things that are very unlike him: listening to music he used to condemn, purposely getting up in the middle of the night to work on projects away from home, making unsound financial decisions, belittling the entire family (and then pretending to be "joking"), deciding to attend law school abruptly, etc.

His odd behavior is coupled with a close relationship with a girl in our church, who also happens to be my brother's former girlfriend. She's troubled, and he has enjoyed counseling her, but their relationship has extended beyond pastor and parishioner.

For instance, he gets upset if she fails to do what he asks, calls her his "best friend," talks to her at all hours of the night and prefers her company to that of our family — all of this in spite of the severe objections of my mother. I'm nearly certain that he hasn't cheated on my mother (at least not physically).

He recently turned 50, and I'm wondering whether this is part of a midlife crisis or, more likely, whether he's succumbing to depression (from which he suffered several years ago). Any suggestion that something is wrong with him or that he should visit a health professional is met with hostility.

My family is at its end. What can we do? — Disgruntled and Confused

Dear Dis: One of two things is happening, and neither of them good. He is either having a foolish older-man midlife fling, or he is undergoing some kind of mental aberration. His atypical behavior would suggest it's a mental problem, and if depression is involved, it is of the manic variety.

Worst-case scenario, the extreme behavioral changes would suggest a neurological difficulty.

Hostility or no, the family needs to get him to the family doctor — if need be, with the help of his religious superior. — Margo, interventionally

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Dear Margo: I am having a bit of an issue with something, except I don't know whether it's really an issue or I'm just overreacting.

I'm 23 and married to a wonderful man, 27. We currently live in the Midwest. On his side of the family, a few people have nicknames of sorts (e.g., his grandparents are referred to as Moon and Bump, which I guess means Grandma and Grandpa in Swedish).

This is fine, but my issue is with my husband's nickname, which he's had since he was a baby. His real name is Jacob. I call him Jake, but his parents, grandparents, older sister and everyone else in the family refer to him as "Cub."

Margo, he is a grown man. I find it ridiculous that his family is still calling him by his childhood name. I have talked to my husband about it in the past, and he's shrugged it off, saying that's just what they've always called him.

My husband is about to get into real estate, and with all that said, do you think I am justified in my position, or is it really just no big deal and I should let it go? — A Rose Is a Rose Is a Rose?

Dear Rose: Alas, you have come to the wrong place for support. I think "Moon" and "Bump" are great handles, and I find childhood nicknames distinctive and great fun. (One of my own children, a 30-something physician, is called "Cricket" by everyone.)

Nicknames are often more memorable than a given name. Let's put it this way: It hasn't hurt Tiger Woods any. In your husband's case, Cub is just a shortened version of his actual name.

Believe me, no one thinks the name suggests he behaves like a baby bear. — Margo, nominally

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. To learn more about Margo Howard or to read features by other writers, visit creators.com.