I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent.

In the past, I just thought these men were needy. However, I was having a group discussion in mixed company, and a man said it seems like women don't need men anymore.

I feel as though women were forced to become independent and support themselves. Now, men seem to be threatened by our success. Do I need to act like I "need" a man to find my soul mate? I abhor needy females, yet I do want to share my life with someone with the ultimate goal of getting married and perhaps having children.

What is ironic is that I would walk away from my career for the right man and situation. In many ways, I feel like I would rather be alone than have to acquiesce to a man's ego. — Ms. Independent

Dear Ms.: As to your question of whether women need men, some do ... some don't. I will tell you this: You, me and countless other women have been considered "intimidating," but only to a certain kind of man.

As for putting on the persona of someone who "needs" a man, don't try to act the part of a submissive, subordinate cupcake; it is too hard, and you would become disgusted with yourself.

Believe it or not, there are many men who cannot function with a clinging vine. Trust me, there are men out there whose personalities are complementary to yours. — Margo, autonomously

PTSD PLUS OCD SPELLS WHAT?

Dear Margo: I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) a few months after Hurricane Katrina.

As I was living in New Orleans at the time, I am still dealing with the aftereffects such as insurance problems, etc.

I am in love with a man who lives in another country thousands of miles away who is being treated with medication to control obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Our personalities clash quite a lot.

As these are both diseases related to anxiety disorders, I am wondering whether it is a good idea to keep this relationship active while I am recovering from the PTSD. Professionals tell me that OCD seems never to go away but can only be controlled, while PTSD can be treated and sometimes cured.

I am in a dilemma. Any advice? — Babs

Dear Babs: I ran this by the Dear Margo in-house therapist, Dr. Shari Thurer, and her opinion is that you may be taking psychiatric diagnostic labels a bit overly seriously. They are not written in stone, nor are prognoses.

Some people with OCD recover, and some with PTSD do not. Psychiatry is far from an exact science. I would suggest you evaluate the quality of your relationship, pros and cons, and try to determine whether the personality clash you speak of is tied to things other than your alphabet soup disorders.

No one is perfect, and there will always be glitches in the best of relationships. Because you say you do love each other, if you do decide to go for it and move to his country, I would guess that living so far from New Orleans might be very good for you. Good luck. — Margo, probingly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. To learn more about Margo Howard or to read features by other writers, visit creators.com.