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Dreams of "What If?"
Dear Margo: I'm a 20-something woman engaged to the best man I've ever known. I am beyond ecstatic to be getting married. My problem has nothing to do with him and everything to do with a guy who was one of my best friends in college. This guy and I …Read more.
Afraid of Little Girls
Dear Margo: Between the ages of 6 and 10, I was severely bullied, but I was given the impression by grownups that such behavior was perfectly normal for children and I shouldn't be so sensitive. (I now realize they probably did not pay attention to …Read more.
Every Problem Does Not Have a Solution
Dear Margo: Many years ago, I got a call informing me that my son was arrested and being held on $1 million bail. That was when I first learned that he is a pedophile.
He has just completed his 20-year prison sentence, and during that time I learned …Read more.
When You Live on a One-Way Street
Dear Margo: My patience has run out with the three living members of my family. My father, his mother and my brother have gone through periods of not talking to each other or to me. My brother wants nothing to do with my father or our grandmother, …Read more.
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Margo Howard Archive05/26/2012 Dreams of "What If?"
Dear Margo: I'm a 20-something woman engaged to the best man I've ever known. I am beyond ecstatic to be getting married. My problem has nothing to do with him and everything to do with a guy who was one of my best friends in college. This guy and I ... 05/25/2012 Afraid of Little Girls Dear Margo: Between the ages of 6 and 10, I was severely bullied, but I was given the impression by grownups that such behavior was perfectly normal for children and I shouldn't be so sensitive. (I now realize they probably did not pay attention to ... 05/19/2012 Every Problem Does Not Have a Solution Dear Margo: Many years ago, I got a call informing me that my son was arrested and being held on $1 million bail. That was when I first learned that he is a pedophile. He has just completed his 20-year prison sentence, and during that time I ... 05/18/2012 When You Live on a One-Way Street Dear Margo: My patience has run out with the three living members of my family. My father, his mother and my brother have gone through periods of not talking to each other or to me. My brother wants nothing to do with my father or our grandmother, ... 05/12/2012 People Don't Have To "Get Over" Everything Dear Margo: Twenty years ago, I lost my job and couldn't find another one. My savings ran out, and bit by bit, I hocked everything until I was left with only the clothes on my back. My mother had a three-bedroom house, but she was dating for the first ... 05/11/2012 This Fundamental Difference Bodes Ill for a Happy Marriage Dear Margo: After two years of research and soul-searching, I have rejected my faith and become an atheist/humanist. I grew up in a Christian household, and all of my family and most of my friends are Christians. I was once devout, and I married a ... 05/05/2012 Trying To Rescue a Friend Dear Margo: A good friend began dating a man whom I will call Albert. Recently, she admitted he hits her and constantly checks up on her. Last month, some other concerned friends and I held an intervention and learned the true extent of his actions. ... 05/04/2012 You Do Not Have To Answer Every Question That Is Asked Dear Margo: Like many women, I don't exactly see eye to eye with my husband's family. He is from a large family where everyone (except him) still lives in the same zip code. Each "branch" of the family has at least four kids, even when there ... 04/28/2012 To Mention or Not To Mention Disturbing Behavior? Dear Margo: I live in an affluent community where my 7-year-old son has many playmates. Directly across the street is one of his closest friends, "Sam," 8, who's the youngest of three boys. I know the parents, etc. Sam has recently started ... 04/27/2012 The Power of Neurosis Dear Margo: I am engaged to a wonderful guy who has multiple sclerosis and uses a wheelchair. He can no longer work due to his condition and is home all day. He helps take care of the house, the pets, etc., and I work full time. This arrangement is ... 04/21/2012 Time To Go Dear Margo: I'm a 27-year-old woman trapped in a loveless marriage. My husband is younger than I am by a few years, and he's very co-dependent. Before he started dating me, he had never had a girlfriend or a sexual encounter. I, on the other hand, ... 04/20/2012 Pushy, To Say the Least Dear Margo: I just started my dream job. (I literally used to dream about working at this particular establishment when I was a child.) Now I'm in a bit of a jam. There's a man I work with, indirectly. He is higher up the chain. I was chummy with him ... 04/14/2012 Stuck in a Family Rut Dear Margo: My mother just passed away, and I am the eldest of three brothers. For some odd reason, we don't communicate often due to how our family was structured. I am not a perfect person, though I have tried to seek redemption for my past mistakes.... 04/13/2012 Picking Up the Pieces Dear Margo: I just found out that my wife of 32 years has been playing me for a fool all this time. It started when we were dating. On rare occasions, my girlfriend (now wife) would initiate sex and insisted we didn't need protection. I didn't ... 04/07/2012 When Fudging the Facts Is Acceptable Dear Margo: I have a friend, "Sally," who years ago went through infertility issues with her husband. After several years, they elected to use an egg donor and successfully had three beautiful children (who look mostly like daddy). Now, ... 04/06/2012 Sick of Talking Shop at Parties Dear Margo: I'm experiencing a problem I assume other medical professionals experience. I'm a graduate student in a medicinal chemistry and drug design program, but I'm considering telling people I've just met that I clean houses for a living. Don't ... 03/31/2012 Fallout from Divorce Dear Margo: My adult daughters have many childhood issues. Their father was an alcoholic, and I was an enabler. My ex and I divorced when the girls were in their early 20s. Since then, my relationship with my daughters can go from quite loving to not ... 03/30/2012 Is This Geezer Creepy? Yes Dear Margo: I am dating a 57-year-old man who is quite wonderful in some ways, but he sometimes says disturbing things. Today, he reported that he walked down to the beach and studied "40 or 50 teenagers" to see what they were wearing. He ... 03/24/2012 Time for Psychological Warfare Dear Margo: My roommate's mother commented about my weight — to the roommate, who is now giving me an ultimatum about Weight Watchers, or she will never do anything for me again. (I tried WW once, and it's not an experience I wish to repeat.) ... 03/23/2012 Demon Rum and Demon Mum Dear Margo: My husband has custody of his three sons from his first marriage. The boys' mother is an alcoholic, and at the time of the custody battle, she was also addicted to meth. Her current husband shares her addictions. Visitation with the mother ... 03/17/2012 An Apartment or a Monastery? Dear Margo: I met my girlfriend six years ago online when I was in college. I lived in the U.S. at the time, and she lived in Europe. After speaking regularly for two years, leading up to eight-page letters every other day, we decided to meet in ... 03/16/2012 Love Is Blind Dear Margo: I have been friends with a woman for many years. A few years ago, she had an affair with a man in her office. When her husband found out, she ended the affair — for a while. Last year, she left her husband and began a new life with ... 03/10/2012 Uncomfortable Conversation Dear Margo: I work at a place of higher education. At lunchtime, faculty members sit together in the staff room and shoot the breeze. The problem is that one person likes to take the conversation to inappropriate places. He is charismatic and well ... 03/09/2012 A Not Uncommon Dilemma Dear Margo: I am the only child of a 92-year-old mother. She's growing increasingly feeble, mentally and physically, and wants me to promise I'll never put her in a nursing home. I told her I would do everything humanly possible to keep her out of one,... 03/03/2012 A Truly Silent Partner Dear Margo: My husband and I are in our middle 50s and have been married for a year. It's the second marriage for both of us. I know there's a period of adjustment for newly married couples, but how long should that period be? My problem with the ... 03/02/2012 Long-Ago Guilt Dear Margo: Growing up with older brothers, I was exposed to sex early through the magazines, parties, etc. that came with them being in high school and entering puberty. I was even sharing a room with a teenage brother who snuck his girlfriends in ... 02/25/2012 Five's a Crowd Dear Margo: I read the letter from the empty nesters who were happy on their own. My situation is exactly the opposite. I am not happy, and I am not alone. My three adult sons are all still living at home. The middle one is a college graduate and will ... 02/24/2012 What To Do About "Old" Kids Dear Margo: My girlfriend was in one other serious relationship aside from ours. It lasted three years and ended three years before ours began. She keeps in touch with the ex because they work together a few days a week, and also my girlfriend was ... 02/18/2012 Responding to Poor Judgment Dear Margo: This past year has been amazing for me. I successfully passed my first semester in college with a 4.0 while juggling friends and a job. I have a very goal-oriented boyfriend who is compassionate to boot! We have a lot in common and attend ... 02/17/2012 If It's Something Dire, You Will Know About It Dear Margo: My husband is an only child in his late 30s. My father-in-law is terribly selfish. We live several states away, and because he's the only blood relative left, my spouse does his best to keep in touch with his father. It is rarely ... 02/11/2012 What's Up with That? Dear Margo: I really don't know what to do about my mother. It's as though she's made a career out of not listening to what I say ... or she's dedicated herself to doing the opposite. Right after I told her I was going on a diet and staying away from ... 02/10/2012 Guess What: Not Everyone Is Kind Dear Margo: My husband, our children and I recently moved to a new town. Through the children, really, I've met a group of women. They apparently are longtime friends, and one of them invited me to their Wednesday mothers group for lunch. I have to ... 02/04/2012 Good To Go Dear Margo: My father recently got a diagnosis of stage-four liver cancer. He is adamant that he wishes to die at home. In addition to needing information about how this can be arranged, I have now started thinking about my own health and wishes. I am ... 02/03/2012 To Be Drawn In or Not To Be Dear Margo: I'm a ninth grader at a small private school. I recently found out that someone who used to go to my school and is now at another school is smoking and dealing pot. When I found this out, I wondered if anyone at my school was doing this, ... 01/28/2012 Our Family's Bad Seed Dear Margo: For more than 20 years, my extended family has been putting up with my brother's wife. She's a negative, nasty, miserable person who blames everyone else for her problems. Lots of drama has been created time and time again because ... 01/27/2012 Best Buddies No More Dear Margo: I had a best friend (of 20 years), and we used to gab on the phone every day during high school and college. We maintained a good degree of communication for a few years after graduation. Two years ago, he was promoted and things ... 01/21/2012 Yours Would Be Some Farewell Note Dear Margo: I'm dying. Should the family's secrets die with me? For three generations, I have been privy to the immoral, unethical and, yes, illegal behavior of some individuals in my family. Before I die, should I tell my niece-in-law that ... 01/20/2012 Of Pucks and Drunks Dear Margo: I'm a huge hockey fan, probably because I adored Peter Forsberg. I used to attend games with my father, but when he died, it hurt to think of being there without him. Recently, an aunt invited me to go with her. I was pleased and offered ... 01/14/2012 More than a 13-Year-Old Can Handle Dear Margo: I'm very worried about my friend. I'm 12, and she will be turning 13. She has casual sex, and unfortunately, she binge drinks and does drugs a lot. She makes very bad choices regarding boys, and I worry for her health and safety. I doubt ... 01/13/2012 Keep Reminding Yourself: You're the Boss Dear Margo: I'm in a big mess. Last year I started a new job that was a huge step up for me. It has provided enough stability to allow my husband to go back to school. But now, almost a year in, the job has become very stressful. (I am a student ... 01/07/2012 Nutty, Insecure Wedding-Goer Dear Margo: This past March I was married in a destination wedding. My husband's parents divorced four years ago, and his dad remarried last year. Anyway, during our reception this past June, while taking wedding pictures with the family and bridal ... 01/06/2012 Expectations Dear Margo: How can you tell whether someone is bipolar or just plain angry? I've been with my husband for nine years, married for five. I currently work full time, go to school part time and am away from home 13 to 15 hours a day Monday through ... 12/31/2011 Closing Down a Demanding Granny Dear Margo: I am a single mother to a special needs child. Not so unusual, right? However, I am also a soldier in the U.S. Army. My ex-husband is also in the military, and we are both currently deployed overseas. He and I maintain an amicable ... 12/30/2011 Multiple Choices Dear Margo: I'm a 25-year-old male, and sometimes I cannot get an erection with my longtime significant other. What is the cause? Also, I have a hairy chest. I've tried waxing, but that's too painful. Should I get laser hair removal? Shave? Live like ... 12/24/2011 A Modern Cinderella Dear Margo: I was raised in a "unique" family. My mother passed away when I was young, and I was raised by my stepfather and his new wife. These "parents" raised me — as in, they allowed me to live with them and provided me ... 12/23/2011 When Things Are Way Beyond Messy Dear Margo: I've been with "Joe" for 18 mostly happy years. He has wonderful, loving qualities, but he also has some learning disabilities, little self-confidence and difficulty connecting with people. He was physically and emotionally ... 12/17/2011 Joyous Empty Nesters! Dear Margo: We are empty-nest parents. We're having a great time while our two daughters are in college. Finally, we have the freedom to do some adult activities without worrying about boring or embarrassing the kids. For example, the art museum ... 12/16/2011 When Turning the Other Cheek Is Not the Thing To Do Dear Margo: I wrote to you four years ago when my wife was openly chatting on the Internet. Predictably, it led to an affair, but we worked through it and had a good couple of years. At 45, she is now having another affair. Rather than issuing an ... 12/10/2011 Ditched or Saved? Dear Margo: I'm 29, and recently, my fiance of eight years walked out the door and never returned. I thought we had a great relationship and never saw this coming. It was a shock to me, my friends, my family and his. While we were bickering before he ... 12/09/2011 The Bloodier the Better. Uh, No. Dear Margo: I have a friend who's been in an abusive relationship since her marriage seven years ago. My friend claims she can't leave her husband because she's in love with him and because she believes marriage is forever. Her husband has caused the ... 12/03/2011 A Little Perspective, Please Dear Margo: My best gay male friend recently admitted he's in love with a woman, despite dating men his whole adult life without any bisexual inclinations. I can handle this sudden revelation, but I am deeply hurt and feel betrayed that it took him ... 12/02/2011 For Better or for Worse -- but Not for Hospitals? Dear Margo: I've been married for quite a number of years, and something has been bothering me recently. My husband comes up with all kinds of excuses not to be with me when I have any kind of surgery. It all started four years ago when I had rather ... 11/26/2011 It's Generational Dear Margo: I often see references in your column (and elsewhere) to "friends with benefits." Where can I find a woman like this? It sounds wonderful. I can have sex and do nothing for her in return. When did this "friends with benefits&... 11/25/2011 When DNA Doesn't Figure In Dear Margo: Almost 19 years ago, when I got sober and was in intensive therapy, I told my mother about the sexual abuse I endured as a kid. She claimed I was lying and that my alcoholism was just a "phase." I tried counseling with her ... 11/19/2011 Whose Money Is It, Anyway? Dear Margo: Is it appropriate to open a discussion with my parents about their will when they are still healthy? My mom and stepdad own five wooded acres and a lovely home they built themselves in a beautiful part of the country. We three moved ... 11/18/2011 Really, Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth Dear Margo: I've been dating my partner for nearly two years long-distance (online dating product), and we both knew early on we'd found "the one." This is a same-sex relationship, and my parents (and hers) have always been completely ... 11/12/2011 Between a Rock and a Hard Place on the Holidays Dear Margo: I need advice. I work in a chain restaurant as a cook making minimum wage. My manager recently told me I have to work three of the four holidays coming up (Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas and New Year's Day). I offered to work ... 11/11/2011 For the Benefit of Alzheimer's Research To my readers: I have only helped a researcher once before. I am doing it again because this project has to do with Alzheimer's disease — a destructive, sad and omnipresent misfortune. It is on the march and affecting increasing numbers of ... 11/05/2011 Some Things Really Are Do-It-Yourself Projects Dear Margo: My mother, whom I love dearly, is putting herself at great risk. She is only in her 50s and has been 400-plus pounds for most of my life. As someone in the health field, I know how harmful obesity is, but nothing I say ever makes her ... 11/04/2011 If This Were Me... Dear Margo: I've been married for 14 years. During that time, I put up with endless verbal abuse from my wife directed at me, as well as our kids. I finally began to snap out of the depression I was in because of this. For my own sanity and that of my ... 10/29/2011 When Leaving the Nest Is Hard Dear Margo: My sister is two years older than me, so when she went away to college, I was still at home with our parents. Last year, I graduated high school and went away to college. I immediately became concerned about my parents. They only had two ... 10/28/2011 An Age-Old Question Dear Margo: I am a 16-year-old boy who has been wondering if it's bad that I question if there is really a God. I mean, I do believe in him, but there are times I am uncertain. I guess I'm asking: What if he doesn't exist, and we spent our lives ... 10/22/2011 A Girl Can't Be Too Careful Dear Margo: I recently created a profile on Match.com and OkCupid after friends convinced me that they are great ways to meet new guys in my area. But part of me is scared to meet these strangers. I want to know whether I can trust my potential date, ... 10/21/2011 From the Mailbag I do not print follow-up feedback to letters; it's just something I choose not to do. I'm making an exception today because the volume of response was so enormous to a particular letter that I realized many people might be interested. (The only other ... 10/15/2011 Losing It, in More Ways than One Dear Margo: I don't know what to do. I've updated my address with the vehicle registration and driver's license office, the Social Security administration and the post office. I haven't lived at my parents' house in 10 years and am now three hours ... 10/14/2011 Sex and the City Dear Margo: My daughter, 22, refuses to go out with men. Why? It seems that girls of her generation have created a situation where the young man summons the young woman to his apartment to "hook up." That's the date: no phone call, just a ... 10/08/2011 "Friends" Without Brains Dear Margo: I am in my mid-40s. After eight years of marriage, my husband died last year of an insidious brain cancer. It was 10 months of "progressive" illness from onset to his death at home, and it's been a year of slow rebuilding — ... 10/07/2011 Hostility Much? Dear Margo: My husband and I are in our mid-20s and have a wonderful marriage. There is one little problem, though: his family. While my family welcomed my husband into the fold with open arms, his mom repeatedly requests that I be excluded from ... 10/01/2011 All in the Family Dear Margo: How do you deal with a family member who has done something morally and legally wrong? My brother "borrowed" all of my parents' retirement money and signed a promissory note to pay it back. He has no intention of paying it back. ... 09/30/2011 Same Song, Second Verse Dear Margo: "Ron" and I have been married for three and a half years, together for four and a half. (I'm 30, and he's 31.) When we first started dating, I honestly didn't care if he went to church with me, shared my beliefs or got along with ... 09/24/2011 The Answer Is Not Geography Dear Margo: My husband recently received a lucrative job offer in another country (Australia) for a new employer. While I am excited, he is so respected in his work that I feel left out. Four weeks ago, I moved to Utah (where we are now) to rejoin him ... 09/23/2011 Family Favoritism Dear Margo: I am the middle sister of three daughters. We're all grown and have gone our separate ways, but our family keeps in touch via Facebook and a yearly family reunion. Year after year, something has been troubling me, and I don't know how to ... 09/17/2011 Can You Say "Enough Already"? Dear Margo: I need advice regarding my stepson, who is almost 25. He's been in a two-year college since he was 19, and after flunking out, missing classes, etc., he is still in a two-year college. My husband basically has been supporting him the whole ... 09/16/2011 Midlife Crisis or Not? Dear Margo: I've been married to a good and honorable man for 22 years. We have two children, 21 and 11. We married young and had our first child a year later. We waited until we were more stable to have our second. We had a solid marriage, but there ... 09/10/2011 Custody Complications Dear Margo: My ex and I had a daughter 10 and a half years ago. He was verbally abusive and extremely controlling, and I ended the relationship during my pregnancy. He was very unstable during the first six years of her life due to drug use. I tried ... 09/09/2011 A Woman's Underthings Help a Man Out Dear Margo: First off, I am a guy. I have a job for which I am always on my feet. By the end of the day, my legs are tired and worn out. I was told to try pantyhose (I am at the point where I'll try anything.), so I decided to experiment. I have only ... 09/03/2011 Infidelity and Families Dear Margo: I'm having difficulty coping with the news of my father's recent infidelity. I found out that he was in a short-lived relationship with another woman who is also married, and only a few years older than me. (By the way, I found this out ... 09/02/2011 When Mr. Wrong's Time Is Up Dear Margo: I was in a relationship with a man who was separated and living alone. This lasted nearly two years. I felt he was the person I should have met 20 years ago, that finally everything made sense in my life. Then one day, without warning, he ... 08/27/2011 Hey, Handsome. Why Are You Here? Dear Margo: I have been with my boyfriend for six months, and we are very much in love. He actually moved 150 miles to be with me. However ... he is 30 and very handsome, and I am 38 with two small children. I can't quite believe he would want to be ... 08/26/2011 When to Stop Stewing and Air a Grievance Dear Margo: My father made a comment to me the other day that hurt my feelings. I didn't know whether or not to say anything, so I didn't, but now I wonder if I should have. My brother is getting married next month, and while most of the family is ... 08/20/2011 Bigotry Dolled Up in Biblical Verse Dear Margo: Today was the last day I will ever read your column. I am 37 years old and do not agree with your beliefs. The Bible clearly states in several places that being gay is wrong. There is no way to misunderstand it. I imagine God looks down on ... 08/19/2011 To Tell or Not To Tell Dear Margo: My problem, if you could call it that, is that I am a bisexual woman. Not bisexual as in I've had the occasional drunken romp with a lady, but bisexual as in I've had girlfriends. My family is ultra-conservative, and I have a feeling that ... 08/13/2011 And I Am Marie of Rumania Dear Margo: I've been seeing a man for a year and a half — but heaven knows not on a regular basis. Sometimes we will see each other a few days in a row, but then he will disappear for weeks at a time. He tells me he can never predict his ... 08/12/2011 Emotional Affairs Do Count Dear Margo: My wife of 21 years is an attractive woman. Our relationship has not been the greatest, but then I discovered text messages from another man on her cell. She met him at the gym. One of the texts I saw said, "I really liked your ... 08/06/2011 One Hour at 350 Degrees Dear Margo: This is kind of goofy (and certainly dates me), but do you by any chance have your mother's famous recipe for meatloaf? I was thinking about it the other day when a girlfriend served a really modern meatloaf — I mean it was made with ... 08/05/2011 Accidentally Liberated Dear Margo: For the past two and a half years, we have allowed my 24-year-old stepdaughter and her 25-year-old boyfriend to live with us. During this time, we have charged them very minimal rent ($50 a paycheck from each when they were working). He ... 07/30/2011 "Mortal Kombat"? "Angry Birds"? Dear Margo: I think my college-age son is addicted to video games. It is possible he is just depressed, but in any case, something is wrong. He doesn't love school, but can do well when he sets his sights on a goal. He's home for the summer, but he ... 07/29/2011 A Different Kind of Surprise Party Dear Margo: I'm a middle-aged woman who's getting married for the first time in the fall. My parents like my fiance, "Jack," and are very pleased that we're getting married. Jack and I don't have much money, so we're planning a small, ... 07/23/2011 Tough Love; No Money Dear Margo: My daughter is 18 years old and a high school senior. She's been dating her boyfriend for less than a year. He is also 18 and insisting he's ready to propose next month. He is, of course, not financially stable. While my daughter has ... 07/22/2011 A Word About the Me, Me, Me People Dear Margo: I think you or your readers may not understand what it's like to live with someone who is a narcissist. The word is so often thrown around. Just one example: My own mother (diagnosed with narcissism and borderline personality) tried to ... 07/16/2011 Utter Nonsense, and Maybe a Deal Breaker Dear Margo: Nine years ago, I met my husband online and fell in love immediately. I moved 1,300 miles away from my family and missed the last months of my grandpa's life and also the birth of my nieces and nephew. I've had to deal with a lot of drama ... 07/15/2011 Driven Crazy Dear Margo: I am currently suffering mild psychosis. I'm 23 and have no driver's license. My family wants me to get one because they don't like driving me around. My fiancee doesn't have one, either, but she's out of school now and is learning this ... 07/09/2011 Politics and Religion -- Again Dear Margo: "Ellie" and I have been friends for nearly 50 years. We have been through much together, even though we live in different states. However, we have never been able to discuss politics or religion since we are diametrically opposed ... 07/08/2011 When You're Homophobic -- Quietly Dear Margo: I am a 19-year-old college student. Though not politically correct, I disapprove of homosexuality. Most people don't know I feel this way. I have no problem with gay people. I have a few close friends and many more acquaintances who are ... 07/02/2011 Let a Sleeping Dog (on Facebook) Lie Dear Margo: Eleven years ago, I divorced my son's father. Since then, everything in my life has gone right. I met a great guy and remarried, my new husband adopted my son, we bought a house in the country, and I have the job of my dreams. All has been ... 07/01/2011 Hostesses Should Invite, Not Pressure Guests Dear Margo: My dear friend invited my husband and me to a party at her home with all older adults (no children, as she and her relatives have no kids or grandkids). I told her my husband and I would not be able to attend (1-6 p.m.) because we would be ... 06/25/2011 Other Voices, Other Rooms Dear Margo: I'm in my early 30s, with a wonderful, caring boyfriend of more than a year. The problem is he wants to marry me! Most women in my demographic would love to have this "problem," but I grew up with an absentee father and a ... 06/24/2011 An Interesting Ramification of a Bad Boyfriend Dear Margo: I'm a 34-year-old woman who had a close personal friendship with my co-worker "Norma," who is 46. After five years of friendship, Norma has become more than just a dear friend — she's a mentor and an older sister/mother ... 06/18/2011 If They Ask, Don't Tell Dear Margo: My husband and I are organic farmers in the Midwest. We incorporate organic practices into our lifestyle because we believe it's the healthiest way to live. I consider this a personal choice and never try to sway those who disagree with us.... 06/17/2011 Hiding in Plain Sight, but Not so Hidden Dear Margo: My wife of 18 years recently reconnected with a man from her past. She denies any previous romantic or physical involvement with him, saying they were only good friends. However, this man told me the reconnection was emotionally draining ... 06/11/2011 There Is Such a Thing as Standards Dear Margo: I have a friend I'll call Betsy. She was married to Bill for 18 years. Bill left her for another woman. Fast-forward five years. Betsy works her butt off (literally), loses weight and is back in the dating game. She meets Dan, a married ... 06/10/2011 Opinions Are Indeed Judgments Dear Margo: I think the word "judgmental" is one that is often thrown around and misused. Many people see me as an opinionated and honest person. When someone asks my opinion, I give it to them. My problem is, I've lost a lot of friendships ... 06/04/2011 The Importance of Saying "No" and Meaning It Dear Margo: My husband's father, "Howard," made it clear the instant his wife became pregnant that he did not want to be a father, and he left her soon after. She remarried a wonderful man who raised my husband as his own. Howard remarried ... 06/03/2011 Of Teachers and Tempers Dear Margo: My brother went through a rough patch a while back. He washed out of college, causing him to become depressed and confused about what he would like to pursue in life. He's gotten much better over the past couple of years, though. He's ... 05/28/2011 Like Two Ships in the Night Dear Margo: I love my husband very much, but he has some OCD traits, and over the years they've gotten worse. (We're both in our 60s.) He's retired but still "working." He spends all day on the computer, checking security updates, reading a ... 05/27/2011 Oh, and Did He Mention the Brooklyn Bridge? Dear Margo: I began seeing a therapist because of my weight, plus family problems. He charged $250 an hour. At the first session, he wanted me to take diet pills. Since this guy was a Ph.D., not an MD, I asked if they were prescription. He said yes, ... 05/21/2011 High-School Confessions Dear Margo: I am 17 and a senior in high school. My wonderful boyfriend, "John," recently came out to me as bisexual. He has made it very clear that he wants to stay with me and is not interested in acting on his attraction to males. He also ... 05/20/2011 Moving Back Into Life Dear Margo: I'm a 40-year-old man who in 2007 was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (more depression-based), OCD, anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I began my career as a high-school teacher at the age of 22 and felt teaching was truly my life's calling.... 05/14/2011 A Weighty Matter Dear Margo: When my ex-boyfriend and I called it off, he was very heavyset. (He was 5'10" and 250 lbs.) He was slimmer when we met, and then his life became stressful. (His cat died, his mom got cancer, and his niece was molested by her ... 05/13/2011 Just Say No Dear Margo: I have no idea how it happened, but we've made a mess of raising our 18-year-old (although his older brother turned out fine). Up until a few years ago, we were very middle class people. My husband and I worked hard, paid our bills, got by ... 05/07/2011 She's Not Interested at 5 a.m. Dear Margo: My boyfriend is amorous in the morning. Because he has to be at work at 6 a.m., morning for him is 5 o'clock! For me, 5 is the middle of the night, as I don't have to rise until 8. Additionally, I have a health problem that is aggravated ... 05/06/2011 When "Shush, Mother" Doesn't Work Dear Margo: My mother-in-law talks constantly during her grandchildren's concerts. Once when my husband shushed her, she snapped, "I wasn't talking. I was making a comment!" We have explained that hearing the performers is important to us, ... 04/30/2011 Three of Wands Dear Margo: I have an odd question. I am self-trained to read tarot cards. I believe they have helped me become more intuitive, but mostly I find that the symbols help me think through problems logically and present possible solutions. Those beliefs ... 04/29/2011 When an Affair Can Be Ethical Dear Margo: Is an affair always wrong? I am close to a man whose wife has been in a nursing home for seven years. She has had MS for 30 years (diagnosed at 25 years old) and is physically dependent for everything. Mentally, she can carry on a ... 04/23/2011 When Nutty Granny Won't Take No (Smoking) for an Answer Dear Margo: I have an issue with my mother-in-law. My husband is so upset with his mother that he says he will not have anything more to do with her. The issue is her smoking. My husband is a smoker, and so are others in the family, but we ask ... 04/22/2011 No Need To Be Strangled by Family Ties Dear Margo: My younger brother, "George," and I have had a difficult relationship for years. He is highly educated, but he's unhappy and maladjusted, still single in his late 40s, and unable to get along with colleagues, girlfriends or ... 04/16/2011 Conversation Interruptus Dear Margo: Is it ever OK to interrupt someone while they're talking? I admittedly interrupt people when I'm excited to share, so I'm not sure if I'm the best judge. My boyfriend, however, never interrupts. It's a quality I admire in him, but I ... 04/15/2011 Betr Lat Thn Nevr Dear Margo: Two years post-divorce, I have been trying to date again. A nice man I have much in common with told me in October that he'd like to get to know me better, but nothing has come of it. Instead, he spends hours texting without trying to set ... 04/09/2011 When a Chatterbox Is Really Something Else Dear Margo: I frequently see letters in columns like yours about talkative co-workers. Never addressed in the answer is that it's possible the talkative co-worker has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). I am one of those talkative ... 04/08/2011 What Do You Do with Bigoted and Blinkered Friends? Dear Margo: My good friend "Linda" is a racist. Her granddaughter confided in her mother that she had feelings for an African-American boy. The mother found out that her daughter had two girlfriends who were dating African-American boys. ... 04/02/2011 No Need To Get Trapped on the Phone Dear Margo: I am often waylaid by a few friends who think nothing of tying up my time for hours on the telephone. I have tried being polite, and I have tried being rude — just short of hanging up — but nothing seems to get through to them. ... 04/01/2011 Practicality Versus Love Dear Margo: I'm in my early 20s, a university student and mother to a lovely little boy. I had a boyfriend some years ago, and although things didn't work out, we kept in touch and remained good friends. He went on a world tour recently and made the ... 03/26/2011 How To Deal With a Needle Artist Dear Margo: Like many people (politicians, police, journalists, attorneys, car salespeople), I work at a job that a good many people love to hate. Most people I meet, however, are gracious. The exception is a close relative's new wife. I'd never met ... 03/25/2011 Your Husband Wants To Do What?! Dear Margo: As a favor to my mother, I agreed to host her mother (my grandmother) for a week or two while my mother and siblings clean her house. I was the logical choice to do this because I'm a stay-at-home mom with a child in school and I live ... 03/19/2011 Grandma's Beating the Drum Is Unwelcome Dear Margo: I need an objective opinion about a situation that has developed between my daughter (25) and my mother (75). At Thanksgiving, my parents thoughtfully gave both of my daughters a gift of money that "is yours to do with as you wish.&... 03/18/2011 When a Teen Needs To Grab the Reins Dear Margo: I'm a 16-year-old girl with no life of my own. I live with my mom, her boyfriend and my 3-year-old brother in a two-bedroom apartment. My mom is on a bunch of meds for depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety and diabetes. She sleeps a lot, ... 03/12/2011 Tough Choices Dear Margo: I'm living with my mother, who has Alzheimer's. I'm an only child, but my mother has three sisters. I have no one to relieve me once in a while so I can have time for myself. I'm also under a doctor's care, and she told me I was to take at ... 03/11/2011 When You Don't Owe a Child Free Rein Dear Margo: Our daughter got a job at a local pizza place when she was 16. She is now 17 and a senior in high school. While working there, she met a 29-year-old man we've come to find has been convicted on two drug charges, an assault charge and a ... 03/05/2011 No Need for Delicacy Here Dear Margo: My elder sister is 62, and her hubby (to whom she's been married for 40 years) is now 68. My sister's family has had a rough life because of my brother-in-law's unsuccessful attempts to make it as an entrepreneur. They've had financial ... 03/04/2011 Yet Another Adoption Dilemma Dear Margo: Ten years ago, my husband and I adopted a beautiful baby boy from a teenage girl, "Anna." The three of us, plus her boyfriend, "Kyle," agreed to keep in contact to allow the two of them and "Ethan" to have a ... 02/26/2011 When Granny Is a One-Woman Bonnie and Clyde Dear Margo: Where to begin? My mother has stolen money from all of my family members. Most of us had decreased contact with her over the years, especially me, since I'm the only one who lives out of state. The final straw came when she recently stole $... 02/25/2011 Riesling Soup? Dear Margo: I am a 27-year-old graduate student in the Northeast. On holidays, I go home to spend time with my parents and two sisters. They are in the South, where the majority of the town is conservative and religious. My father is a church deacon, ... 02/19/2011 Old Children, New Wives Dear Margo: I have a granddaughter, 20, with whom my son has had no contact for the past 17 years of her life! She is a college student and would make anyone proud as a daughter. The problem is, I got her together with her younger siblings, and now my ... 02/18/2011 When Something Is Above Your Pay Grade Dear Margo: I have an ethical dilemma. I work in an industry where many people telecommute, which lends itself to subcontracting work to offshore vendors (e.g., India). Sending work offshore is a very controversial and polarizing issue in the industry.... 02/12/2011 Too Much Information, Squared Dear Margo: I work in a small department that is part of a big university. There are just 12 of us here, and for the most part, we all get along. There are, however, three individuals who irritate me. One is a man who's been divorced for years and is ... 02/11/2011 Some Father Dear Margo: In May of '83, when I was 18 and my brothers were 16 and 14, my mother died after a struggle with brain cancer. By July, my father had disposed of all her things, and by September, he had a girlfriend (14 years younger) and was spending ... 02/05/2011 Two Fathers, Two Mothers, Wedding in the Middle Dear Margo: Fifteen years ago, my mother had an affair and my parents divorced. Both are remarried, and I love my stepmother. In fact, I call her "my bonus mom." But my stepfather is verbally and physically abusive of my mom. My sibs and I ... 02/04/2011 A Surefire Way To Make a Child Afraid of Dogs Dear Margo: My f-i-l is in poor health, and a couple of years ago, he got a large dog for company. We met the dog for the first time two years ago, and it behaved skittishly and aggressively toward my then-infant daughter. I told my f-i-l that in ... 01/29/2011 Just a Few Well-Chosen Words Dear Margo: I am writing about my big sister, who is a beautiful professional woman in her late 30s. She's an amazing, generous, successful and brilliant person, and she's also my best friend. She has been my biggest cheerleader and defender and has ... 01/28/2011 One Husband, Two Sisters Dear Margo: I have two single sisters in their 30s who text, call and e-mail my husband of five years. They contact him to cry on his shoulder about relationship issues, personal problems and various other dramas. They don't contact me about their ... 01/22/2011 With Friends Like These... Dear Margo: I'm getting married in a few months to a wonderful guy. We had an engagement party a few weeks ago. I invited all of our friends and family to celebrate. The issue I am having is with one of my friends. I invited her to the party and saw a ... 01/21/2011 When the Mistress Becomes the (Step)Mom Dear Margo: I'm in my 40s, as are my siblings. Our dad, who is in his late 70s, had an affair an indeterminate while ago but to this day won't admit it. My parents have been divorced for a dozen years now, and Dad married the mistress. Naturally, I am ... 01/15/2011 Love Me, Love My Dog/Cat/Hamster/Parrot Dear Margo: I'm at odds with my boyfriend. I grew up with pets and as an adult have nourished my passion for animals by working at an animal shelter. I've been at this job for several years, occasionally bringing home an orphaned kitten to bottle-feed ... 01/14/2011 It Is What It Is Dear Margo: I am a female college freshman who has never been in a relationship. Recently, I developed an attraction to my friend, who is a girl. I found out that she is also interested in me, but I have no idea how to proceed from here. Do I act on ... 01/08/2011 Families and Businesses Don't Always Mesh Dear Margo: I recently moved to a new city to be closer to my parents and to start a new job as an attorney. The job didn't work out, and I ended up opening my own firm. My father, also an attorney, has expressed interest in joining me "one day,&... 01/07/2011 The Handwriting is on the Wall -- in Neon Colors Dear Margo: I have been married for 23 years. We have two teenage children. My wife refuses any kind of intimacy with me, and we have not had sex for the past 10 years of our marriage. I used to be able to count on having sex on Valentine's Day, my ... 01/01/2011 A 6-Year-Old Terrorist Dear Margo: My 4-year-old son was recently invited to a sleepover at his 6-year-old cousin, "Josh's," house. My sister-in-law, "Ella," arranged the sleepover to cheer Josh up, as he's currently suspended from school for bringing ... 12/31/2010 You Can Lead a Horse to Water, but You Can't Take Away its Credit Cards Dear Margo: My husband and I are well on our way to financial freedom through following a popular program. We want all of our loved ones to experience this, although we would never offer financial advice unless asked. A close relative ... 12/25/2010 Dealing with Friends who are Mentally Ill Dear Margo: Is there a point where clinical paranoia can become dangerous? There's a 10-year friendship on the line. Her paranoia is pretty well known to many of her friends, but we love her. However, when her suspicions go from "there's a camera ... 12/24/2010 He Cannot Sell Her on the Cell Dear Margo: I'm writing to complain about my girlfriend and her use of the cell phone. But this is not what you think. Her daughter and I are frustrated because she doesn't use her cell phone! She buries her phone in her purse and never thinks about ... 12/18/2010 Straight Cred Dear Margo: I belong to an LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) group at my university. I understand that kids my age have it a lot easier than homosexuals did, say, 20 years ago. I do, however, have a problem — still — with ... 12/17/2010 Incisors and Indecision Dear Margo: I recently met a man who is very interested in me. Based on what I have learned from a mutual acquaintance, he possesses a lot of the qualities I would like in a significant other. Some of these qualities are hard to come by, and I should ... 12/11/2010 "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and Living On an Air Force Base Dear Margo: Since "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is much in the news, I wanted your opinion on how my husband and I should deal with our opinions. We are in the U.S. Air Force, which has the distinction of being the most educated enlisted force in ... 12/10/2010 Old Story: Same Song, Second Verse Dear Margo: One of my best friends is dating this complete jerk. He is manipulative, condescending, emotionally abusive, and let's not skip over the time he told me to bleep-off, unprovoked and without an apology afterward. I feel like my friend is ... 12/04/2010 A Systems Failure of Sorts Dear Margo: I've known my girlfriend for about two years, but we've been dating for six months. We met a while back, went on a few dates, and then I moved to another city for a year. I'm back in the city now, and we're pretty serious. Here's ... 12/03/2010 Naive or Dense? That is the Question Dear Margo: I have a strong hunch that my husband's boss is trying to get chummy with me. Whenever there's a business function where spouses are included, this man generally makes a beeline for me and is very solicitous. "Can I get you a drink?&... 11/27/2010 Morals, Ethics and Friendship Dear Margo: I have a close friend I've known for 10 years, and every Friday night we get together for Shabbat with other good friends and family. He has gone through some difficult times over the years, losing a very long-term relationship and his ... 11/26/2010 A Man and His Pantyhose Dear Margo: I am a 28-year-old woman. I've never been married, and I have no children. For the past four months, I have enjoyed a great relationship with a truly wonderful guy. Yesterday, he confided to me that he has a pantyhose fetish. He explained ... 11/20/2010 A Rose Is a Rose Is a Grandma? Dear Margo: So, my long-awaited first grandbaby is coming. The subject came up of how the baby is to address his or her extended family, full of grandparents and great-grandparents. However, we also have second spouses who were not part of the earlier ... 11/19/2010 Down but Not Out Dear Margo: I am a 60-year-old single man who has, over the past few years, developed the much-dreaded ED (erectile dysfunction). Although my doctor says I'm in excellent health, medication and therapy have not helped. Despite that, I have no desire ... 11/13/2010 Other People's Sex Lives Dear Margo: As a bi woman, I've encountered prejudice from homosexuals and heterosexuals. I was startled and hurt the first time I heard a rant against bisexuality from a lesbian (on a gay and lesbian radio program, no less). Although there is ... 11/12/2010 Insider Trading Dear Margo: This isn't about relationships. It's an ethical question. I live in a small town that has a thrift shop to benefit the volunteer fire department. It sells mostly dowdy junk, and prices are low. Recently, I downsized and gave them a lot of ... 11/06/2010 When You Feel You're Babysitting an Adult Dear Margo: Several months ago, I started dating a really great guy. We enjoy the time we spend together and have lots of fun. However, his best friend and that man's fiancee are a big part of his life, and it seems to be expected that when he hangs ... 11/05/2010 Thinking Ahead to Cranberry Sauce Dear Margo: I am stressing about Thanksgiving. My mother, who passed away last year, always gave the Thanksgiving Day dinner for our family. Sentimentally, I suppose, I assumed I would take it over. But my mother's bossy sister (my aunt) announced ... 10/30/2010 A Not So New Wrinkle Dear Margo: You might say my problem falls under the heading of bioethics. The subject is that of surrogate parenting in developing countries. My two children and I live in an apartment building, a friendly one. One couple in our building, ... 10/29/2010 Facebook, Friends and Heretofore Unknown Family Dear Margo: I am a married mother of three in my mid-30s. Recently, a woman in her 50s contacted me via Facebook to let me know she believes that we are half-sisters, via my dad. Dad, who is 75, was in his 30s when he married my mom. This woman, who ... 10/23/2010 So Things Won't Go Bump in the Night Dear Margo: I'm moving from a major city to a relatively isolated area for a year. I have always felt — rightly or wrongly — that I was relatively safe with lots of people around. Any safety tips for a woman who will be living alone in the ... 10/22/2010 Too Close for Comfort Dear Margo: My experience has been that friendships are transitory and people don't put in the work to maintain them. For this reason, my husband and I are pretty much loners. We have many acquaintances but few friends. This year, while ... 10/16/2010 Family plus Money Equals Headaches Dear Margo: I find myself in an unfamiliar territory asking a "stranger" for advice but I need someone outside of my circle to evaluate my situation. I had worked hard on raising my credit score for years in order to achieve my goal, which ... 10/15/2010 I Say Bail Dear Margo: My fiancee and I are having a problem with her father. We are a lesbian couple and we're included in family functions, which we attend regularly. We recently became engaged but still haven't told her dad, a recent convert to Catholicism. ... 10/09/2010 When You're Hanging on by Your Thumbs Dear Margo: Like many others, the recession has taken a toll on our family. My husband has been a functioning alcoholic for years, and despite my objections, he leapt at the opportunity for early retirement two years ago and now spends his days ... 10/08/2010 Gaga Grandpa? Dear Margo: My parents adore their grandchildren and regularly do wonderful things for them and take them to lovely places. This past summer, they took them to the lake for a few days with my niece. My children are 11 and 7, and my niece is also 7. My ... 10/02/2010 Dealing with Dying Friends Dear Margo: I have a good friend who's dying. We've been friends for decades, and she's very dear to me. Unfortunately, she spends most of her time being furious and semi-abusive to the people who love her the most. I tend to argue with her about it, ... 10/01/2010 The Prodigal Father's Return Dear Margo: I'm not sure how to handle this. My father went to prison when I was 2 months old. My mom and maternal grandparents made sure I had a relationship with him through phone calls and letters my whole life. (I was never very close to his ... 09/25/2010 When Mom's in the Dating Market Dear Margo: As an adolescent, a teen and then a 20-something, I always thought that by the time I was in my 30s, my mother and I would finally see eye to eye, as I would have finally reached the status of "adult." Well, here I am. And there ... 09/24/2010 Indecent Security? Dear Margo: I find the idea of full-body scanners at airports to be absolutely disgusting and a violation of my right against unreasonable search and seizure. And if you're carrying anything internally, they're completely ineffective. I had to fly ... 09/18/2010 Survivor's Guilt in the Workplace Dear Margo: I am a 57-year-old woman. Three years ago, I was laid off by the large corporation for which I had worked for 30 years. I was lucky enough to have been recruited for an excellent job not long afterward, and I'm enjoying my new job and ... 09/17/2010 And They Lived Happily Ever After Dear Margo: I'm a professional in the health care field. I have worked with a certain woman for more than 10 years. She has always described her family life as living with her boyfriend and his two children. All of our co-workers think she adopted ... 09/11/2010 Does a Brain Injury Cause Broken Dates? Dear Margo: I'm a 45-year-old professional woman who's been with a really great guy for nine months. He broke up with his girlfriend of five years to be with me. He's kind and thoughtful (takes my shoes off after a hard day, brings me coffee in bed in ... 09/10/2010 Really Bad Luck: Cruising and Coming Up with Your Father-in-Law Dear Margo: I'm a 33-year-old man, married seven years. The issue is that I am bisexual and have known it for some time. About a month ago, I responded to a posting on Craigslist. It was from an older gentleman, who, like myself, is bi and was looking ... 09/04/2010 Out of the Blue and Seeing Red Dear Margo: I am devastated. My girlfriend of five years, basically my wife, told me a few days ago that she wants a break. (I am also female.) She has been talking to a girl, "Laura," who found her on a social networking site — ... 09/03/2010 When Parents Are Pickled In Alcohol Dear Margo: I am 19 years old and in desperate need of advice. I work a full-time job and am trying to go back to school in the fall. I am currently living with my parents, and they are threatening to kick me out. We argue all the time. My parents ... 08/28/2010 Another Monster-in-Law Dear Margo: I am currently engaged to a man I love everything about (well, most everything). However, his mother, who I refer to as "monster-in-law," tries to control everything. My fiance and I have a baby together, and his mother stepped ... 08/27/2010 Look for a Guy Who Golfs or Reads Books Dear Margo: This may be typical, but it's driving me crazy. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. During the past two or three, he started playing a computer game called World of Warcraft. He "met" a girl on this game, and they ... 08/21/2010 'Love You' But Not 'In Love with You' Dear Margo: More than once I have noticed you voice your dislike for the phrase "I love you, but I am not in love with you." Well, actually, you attack the phrase. Tell me, what does "in love" mean? I love my husband of 50 years, ... 08/20/2010 Sometimes It Pays To Conform Dear Margo: I am a young (early 20s) Muslim woman. For more than 10 years, I chose to wear a scarf on my head, but my problem is that I don't want to wear it anymore. I started wearing it on my own because I believed in it, but I've been reconsidering ... 08/14/2010 What To Do When a Mother's Out to Lunch Dear Margo: I'm 16 years old, and somehow I've become my mother's marriage counselor. I feel like I don't have a mother anymore because all she does is complain about Dad. I don't think their marriage problems are any of my business. The ... 08/13/2010 By All Means, Push Up the Wedding Date Dear Margo: My boyfriend, "Mark," and I have been dating for two and a half years. We recently moved in together, against the cautions of everyone who told us we were "too young" (20 and 23). Honestly, we've become closer and feel ... 08/07/2010 Who Should Kiss Whom, and How? Dear Margo: My husband and I married earlier this year, and we have a great relationship. We both came into the marriage with children. The one thing that seems to be driving me crazy is that my husband kisses his 5-year-old daughter on the lips. It's ... 08/06/2010 Neither Life nor Marriage Comes with Guarantees Dear Margo: I so love my fiance! He is amazing and tolerant of me (no easy task). He cleans my (our) cat's litter box and the bunny cage and does the dishes. However, as we are to be married in fewer than three months, I am on my second round of cold ... 07/31/2010 There Is Always Silence ... or Walking Away Dear Margo: I am a 20-something girl who was engaged to a guy a couple of years older. We had a good run, but things deteriorated, and he left me for a younger chick. I went through a period of being mad at him, and then I got over it. I prefer to ... 07/30/2010 Tag, You're It Dear Margo: My husband, "Rick," dislikes his family, and I can understand why; they are not particularly likeable. They seem to like him, however, because despite his not wanting anything to do with them (he will not return phone calls, etc.)... 07/24/2010 An Old Story: Offering To Comfort a Widower Dear Margo: I'm a recently widowed man in my 50s. There is a woman who works with me with whom I've been good friends for as long as we've worked together, about six years. She is several years younger than I and very attractive. Ever since my wife ... 07/23/2010 Drawing Things Out Dear Margo: I was given a book called "Your Man is Wonderful," about how women can stop nagging their husbands. The author's thesis is that we women hate to nag our spouses, but unless we do, nothing gets done. She says there's a better ... 07/17/2010 Perhaps Stop Planning To Get a Stomachache Dear Margo: I think my husband is addicted to porn. We recently visited Las Vegas and had a fairly good time, even though he lost all the cash we had at the slot machines. But that's a different letter. While there, we were going to see a show but ... 07/16/2010 Promises, Promises Dear Margo: My husband and I are in our late 20s and have been married nearly five years. It's been a fairly good and happy marriage. Before we got married, we agreed that we would move to my home state (a 12-hour drive away) in five or six years, and ... 07/10/2010 Death Be Not Proud -- or Predictable Dear Margo: Six years ago, my father passed away suddenly at the young age of 49. He and my mother had been married 29 years and had a wonderful, loving relationship. Despite initial grief counseling and antidepressants, my mother is still suffering ... 07/09/2010 Sibling Flirting Dear Margo: My husband of 16 years and I are having a problem. Or maybe I am the one with the problem. He has two older brothers and a younger sister. His sister is visiting from Puerto Rico and has been staying with us for the past two weeks. I've ... 07/03/2010 An Atypical Ex-Wife Issue Dear Margo: My boyfriend of almost a year is good friends with his ex-wife, which is great. Before I met him, I worked with said ex-wife. We were friendly co-workers — had nice chats, group lunches, etc. — but never hung out. I never knew ... 07/02/2010 Stay or Leave? Dear Margo: A little more than a year ago, I sensed something off with my wife. Naturally, I asked, and for a couple of weeks, the answer was "nothing," just tired, hard day, etc. Finally, after a few weeks of watching her walk around as if ... 06/26/2010 The Old Plus-One Question Dear Margo: A friend is getting married. I asked when the invitations were going out so I would have time to find a date, and she informed me that since I don't have a serious significant other, I will not be afforded a "plus one" and must ... 06/25/2010 Sometimes Parents Are Right About Marrying Mr. Wrong Dear Margo: I just married my boyfriend of five years. I was 17 when we started dating (he was 22), and he was my first and only. I was told so many times by people (including my parents) that I was too young to be in such a serious relationship. I ... 06/19/2010 A Funeral Is Not a Popular Vote on Goodness Dear Margo: A sticky situation certainly will come up, and I'm trying to figure out what to do when it does. I refer to one of my mom's brothers as "Uncle Slime." He is the most mean-spirited, selfish narcissist I have ever known. He speaks ... 06/18/2010 Exes Under One Roof Dear Margo: I recently broke up with my live-in boyfriend. We have six months left on the lease — and a roommate. He is moving into another bedroom in the house. The breakup was probably a long time coming. I still love him, but he couldn't get ... 06/12/2010 When Fairness Isn't Part of the Picture Dear Margo: My husband's elderly mother recently moved into a unit in our condo building, which we bought for her. We are not rich, but we made it work. (P.S.: I make more than my husband.) My husband's brother (and only sibling) promised to ... 06/11/2010 When a Planned Move Solves the Problem Dear Margo: My husband and I are in our early 30s. We live in an upscale townhouse community with mostly retirees. A couple in their mid-60s lives across the street and keeps an eye on our house and checks on the dog if we're out of town. Over the ... 06/05/2010 Autism Awkwardness Dear Margo: My husband and I have a 9-year-old son with severe autism. I cope well enough most of the time, but I would really appreciate your advice about how to handle shopping. My son may look like a typically developing 9-year-old, but if ... 06/04/2010 For Better or for Worse, but Not for Lunch Dear Margo: I am furious. My wife and I have just had a huge fight — our third in the past six months. The reason? Nine months ago, I retired at age 60, and my wife seems to be angry with me simply for existing. For almost 30 years, we've had a ... 05/29/2010 Old World Values Clanging Against the New Dear Margo: I am caught between two cultures and religions. I am finishing graduate school and planning to move to a new city, where my boyfriend is doing graduate-school work. My parents are deeply religious and from a different culture. They are ... 05/29/2010 Old World Values Clanging Against the New Dear Margo: I am caught between two cultures and religions. I am finishing graduate school and planning to move to a new city, where my boyfriend is doing graduate-school work. My parents are deeply religious and from a different culture. They are ... 05/28/2010 Having "Feelings For" Stuffed Animals Dear Margo: I am a 21-year-old woman with what is turning into a big problem. As a child, I always had an emotional attachment to toys — stuffed animals, blankets, you name it. I figured it was something I would grow out of, and I did to some ... 05/22/2010 What To Make of Gay Porn on Your Boyfriend's Computer Dear Margo: I've been in a relationship with a fantastic man for two years. We are in our late 20s and have talked about marriage and our desire to have children. The problem is, I have caught him looking at gay porn twice, and now I'm questioning ... 05/21/2010 Tuning Out the Peanut Gallery Dear Margo: I have a wonderful fiance and am happily engaged. We get along great and agree on many things. He is six years older than I. As I've grown older (and am now finishing college), there are some friends and previous boyfriends who think they ... 05/15/2010 A 17-Year-Old With a Kids' Problem Dear Margo: I've been married to a great man for five years. He has three kids. Two of them, the oldest (19) and the youngest (14), I love and get along with well. His middle son, "Robert," is 17 and still wets the bed. He can stop, as he ... 05/14/2010 But Who's Counting?! Dear Margo: I am a 65-year-old man who's enjoyed a great sex life, from the age of 16, with more than 400 women. I am writing you about the wives who write about their husbands having affairs. You women just don't get it. We are doing what we were ... 05/08/2010 Come Clean, and Watch the Problem Go Away Dear Margo: One of my best friends, "James," has feelings for me. He always tries to hold my hand, put his arm around me or hug me. He tells me my hair smells nice and offers me his jacket when I'm cold. Although he hasn't said it in so many ... 05/07/2010 An Ex, a Rat and a Phone Dear Margo: My husband and I got married six months ago — a second marriage for both of us. His previous marriage only lasted two years, and they've been divorced for 14 years. That divorce was bitter, and he took responsibility for the breakup ... 05/01/2010 Dad Asks Payment for Childhood! Dear Margo: At the age of 40, I've been disowned by my father and his wife of 10 years. I ran a successful business, which I sold recently and made a lot of money. My father called to ask that I pay him a sum of money so that he and his wife can ... 04/30/2010 When a Picture Might Be More Than a Picture Dear Margo: I recently received an e-mail containing some shirtless pictures from a family friend — formerly my mom's boyfriend. In the e-mail, he mentions that he would like some pictures of me to see how I'm "maturing." (I was 16 ... 04/24/2010 Homesick ... Three Times Dear Margo: When my mother remarried, we moved about 45 minutes from where we were originally. Then my stepfather took a job (which they forgot to tell us he was looking for) about nine hours away. We moved again. He got another new job about two ... 04/24/2010 Homesick ... Three Times Dear Margo: When my mother remarried, we moved about 45 minutes from where we were originally. Then my stepfather took a job (which they forgot to tell us he was looking for) about nine hours away. We moved again. He got another new job about two ... 04/23/2010 Not on the Same Wavelength Dear Margo: I have been dating a great guy for a year-and-a-half. He's kind, generous, funny, loving and financially stable. We've been discussing marriage for the past six months. He recently bought an old yacht and now spends every weekend ... 04/23/2010 Not on the Same Wavelength Dear Margo: I have been dating a great guy for a year-and-a-half. He's kind, generous, funny, loving and financially stable. We've been discussing marriage for the past six months. He recently bought an old yacht and now spends every weekend ... 04/17/2010 Slapping Strangers? I Don't Think So. Dear Margo: I recently moved here from Scotland. I thought you might have some insight into an experience I had involving an American woman's image of her body. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a ... 04/16/2010 The Voice of Experience Says It Best Dear Readers: I try to stay away from response letters, for various reasons, but I thought the following letter would be compelling — and perhaps valuable — for what I can safely say is a large army of "other women." This writer ... 04/10/2010 When the In-Laws Attack Dear Margo: I have an issue with the in-laws. Big surprise, huh? For years, things have been OK with my husband's parents, but suddenly they've become combative. They'll start in on politics. They are conservatives, and we're not, but that's ... 04/09/2010 Are You Kidding Me? Dear Margo: I've been married 13 years, and for the past six months, my husband has done so many things that boggle the mind that I'm not sure what to do. It all began when he tried to help a young girl with her car. He is very mechanical and ... 04/03/2010 Prospective Employers and Improper Questions Dear Margo: Lately, I have been interviewing with prospective employers who are middle-aged men, and they've been asking inappropriate questions. Just because it is a bad economy right now does not mean bad manners are acceptable. Within the first ... 04/02/2010 A Question for the Ages Dear Margo: I have some thoughts on monogamy. Some people are wired to funnel all their attention to one partner, but many are not. If I ask my partner to be true to me at the expense of being true to herself, I am setting myself up for inevitable ... 03/27/2010 You'd Be Better Off Calling 411 Dear Margo: I found out, quite by accident, that my husband was having an affair with his former college girlfriend. The affair had (has?) been going on for more than a year. He says he has broken off contact with her, and I told him I would be ... 03/26/2010 If She Was So Great, They'd Still Be Married Dear Margo: I've been in a relationship for the past nine months with a man I love and have a great friendship with. He is kind, interesting and great fun to be with, but I feel an imbalance in the relationship because of our pasts and ... 03/20/2010 Some People Will Try Anything Once Dear Margo: My stupid sister is a struggling single mother of three daughters, ages 10 to 14. She has been twice married and divorced. She just lost her business, and her home is in foreclosure. Recently, she met a guy decorated with tattoos ... 03/19/2010 Running Around Need Not Be an Inherited Trait Dear Margo: This is not exactly a problem — yet. I am engaged to a great guy who only has eyes for me. My mother, though, is worried about my future, because for generations, the men in my fiance's (quite prominent) family have been well known ... 03/13/2010 When Invitations Are Seen as Invoices Dear Margo: I recently accepted a position in a large office. I think it's very nice that people want to express their good wishes for events in co-workers' lives, but why do these people not understand the rules of good taste that accompany these ... 03/12/2010 When Lopping it Off is the Best Thing To Do Dear Margo: I am an adult woman with three older brothers with whom I do not speak. My oldest brother has always treated me like an idiot child with nothing to say. He stopped even acknowledging my birthday nine years ago. My youngest brother only ... 03/06/2010 Trouble With a Hairy, Scary "Pet" Dear Margo: Here's a new one for you — I'm assuming, as it's a pretty ridiculous situation. Two years ago, my husband begged for a tarantula, and after too many cocktails, I bought him one for his birthday. I am scared to death of spiders and ... 03/05/2010 You Will Not Be the First Dear Margo: I've been married to my husband for two years. We've been together for six, but have had problems throughout. However, I have always loved him and thought we would have babies and grow old together. A few months ago, I began to develop ... 02/27/2010 A New Kind of Dysfunction: The Glued-Together Sisters Dear Margo: The Hydra belongs to Greek mythology, but surprise — there's one in my family, as well! My mom and aunt are the best of sisters, and they share everything. And every thought. They almost never disagree with each other. While ... 02/26/2010 Viperous "Do-Gooders" Dear Margo: My relationship with my husband has changed over something stupid that never should have happened. We've been married for six years. He's been friends with "Josh" for many years longer than he has known me. Josh is married to &... 02/20/2010 Touchy Subject Dear Margo: I'm a 34-year-old wife and mother, with no problem having friends or family casually touch me during conversation. I am normally open to friendly hugs. However, my husband has two friends who insist on touching me, and for some reason they ... 02/19/2010 Same Song, Second Verse Dear Margo: For a few years now, my marriage has been very lonely, and my spouse is difficult in the best of times. I admit: I was looking for a thrill and had an affair with a married man who had similar marriage woes. To my utter shock and dismay, I'... 02/13/2010 He Wouldn't Be the First Dear Margo: Do you think a wife deserves to know that her husband, who portrays himself as an upstanding, churchgoing, faithful family man, is spending inordinate amounts of time trolling the Internet for women? She has suspected him of being ... 02/12/2010 No One Needs a 17-Year-Old Dictator Dear Margo: I am in my 50s, have been divorced for 10 years and have a 17-year-old daughter. Her dad is remarried. I've been seeing someone for 13 months, and my daughter can't stand him. He is a nice guy, and there are no behaviors to dislike. In ... 02/06/2010 When the Light Bulb Goes On! Dear Margo: I have been married for 21 years. We have two daughters, 17 and 9. After we married, my husband started getting really mad at me and yelling until I cried. He blamed me for everything — I was a bad housekeeper, I didn't discipline ... 02/05/2010 When the Outside World Has Been Made "The Enemy" Dear Margo: I have a dual problem concerning my mom and my two younger teenage sisters. Mom has always been strict and overprotective, but is more so with my little sisters. They are home-schooled (as was I), but they get no social interaction at all &... 01/30/2010 Putting the Lid on Favoritism Dear Margo: My grandmother has some deep-seated psychological issues when it comes to her children. Aunt No. 1 she is practically obsessed with. We're constantly hearing about her and her kids. With the other one, Aunt No. 2, it's basically complaints ... 01/29/2010 Get a Grip and Get Out Dear Margo: You're a bright woman. Maybe you can get through to me and other idiots like me who won't listen to others' warnings — or even to their own rational minds. For seven years, I've tried to hold on to my boyfriend, even though he ... 01/23/2010 Here Comes the Bride ... and Yammering Little Kids Dear Margo: My fiancee and I will be getting married in nine months, and we're starting to send out invitations. Over the past couple of years, many of our friends started having kids. (Two of the older ones will be flower girls.) Early on, we ... 01/22/2010 Another Reason God Made Google Dear Margo: My younger sister, "Megan," has always been unlucky with men. But two years ago, she met a man, "Bob," who was handsome and charming and treated her magnificently. As she fell in love with him, our family hoped they ... 01/16/2010 TMI of the Heartbreaking Kind Dear Margo: I am at a loss. My cousin and I are in our late 20s and quite close. This past year, her newborn son was diagnosed with a condition called SMA type-1. It is a form of muscular dystrophy and is terminal. Babies born this way are missing a ... 01/15/2010 Workplace Aggravation Dear Margo: I'm in a perplexing situation. I'm a single mom with a full-time "protected" job where I make pretty decent money with exceptional health benefits. Because it is a "protected" job, there is no chance I can be laid off, ... 01/09/2010 When Even an Intervention Is Impossible Dear Margo: I think my sister, "Allison," has been abusing Adderall and similar drugs for about 15 years. She's increasingly paranoid and delusional, and has difficulty keeping jobs or managing her money. For example, within 18 months, she ... 01/08/2010 When a Friend Has Oatmeal Cookies for Brains Dear Margo: My best friend of 20-plus years thinks she is in a relationship with a man who has a wife and four kids with different women. He has been in and out of jail the past two years for selling drugs, and I am concerned because she drops ... 01/02/2010 Take Her Mother-In-Law. Please. Dear Margo: To be blunt, I can't stand my mother-in-law. She's not a bad person, per se, but she's extremely difficult to be around. She is morose, gloomy, passive and unable to make even the smallest decision. Before each trip, she calls to tell us ... 01/01/2010 Stuck in the Past, To Say the Least Dear Margo: Both my daughter and her boyfriend of four years are 23. My daughter works as a project manager for a health organization, and her boyfriend is a full-time Ph.D. student at a first-rate college in the Boston area. In August, they moved in ... 12/26/2009 What To Do With a Frigid Man Dear Margo: My husband of 16 years is a nice guy and a good father. We rarely argue and, in fact, get along companionably. The problem is that six months into our marriage he lost interest in sex. I keep myself attractive and initiate sex often, but ... 12/25/2009 When the Time Comes To Talk Turkey Dear Margo: I am a female working in a male-dominated environment. I am happily married, with several male friends. Recently my supervisor was switched out, and I am now working for a female supervisor. Normally, I would be ecstatic, but a lot of my ... 12/19/2009 The Problem With Listening To Dumb People Dear Margo: I would like your perspective on this. When I was 12 years old, two older boys in my neighborhood molested me. (This happened in the early '70s.) I told my parents what happened, they confronted the boys, and they admitted what they had ... 12/18/2009 And Happy Holidays To You, Too! Dear Margo: My husband and I have a circle of friends who get together regularly for barbecues, days at the beach, etc. All of us get along spectacularly, except for one of the wives. She is the most self-righteous, mean-spirited, unpleasant person I'... 12/12/2009 Who Needs Family Members Like This? Dear Margo: My boyfriend and I are both 26 and have been dating for two years, after knowing each other for two and a half years prior to that. We are both doing everything we can to get our professional lives going, despite the economy, but we can't ... 12/11/2009 "Lady, Your Husband Is Cheating On Us" Dear Margo: I am not proud of this, but I've been in a relationship with a married man (I am single, never married) for three years. We work for the same large company, and I do not report to him. This is probably not politically correct, but this ... 12/05/2009 Reinterpretations and Romance Dear Margo: How much is a person supposed to overlook or adapt to in a boyfriend if he has other great qualities? I'm dating a really nice guy (divorced), who is smart and interesting and has good values, but is extremely passive — to the point ... 12/04/2009 Considering the Economy and Kleptomania Dear Margo: I graduated from college last summer with highest honors after receiving a full scholarship. I worked hard, believing it would pay off in the job market. Well, once school was over, I found it very difficult to find decent employment. The ... 11/28/2009 Rubin's Rules Dear Readers: I've never reprinted anything written by someone else, but the following was so good, I thought I would bend my own rule. The writer, Gretchen Rubin, blogs about ways to be happy. Her site is www.happiness-project.com, should you care to ... 11/27/2009 Could Things Be Any Worse? Doubt It. Dear Margo: How do I fix my life? I recently left my wife of 21 years. I'd been having a two-year affair with a married woman, and I became part of the family. I interacted with her young children and was friends with her husband, as well. She played ... 11/21/2009 When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested Dear Margo: By his choice, my father-in-law, "Herman," has had little to do with my wonderful family. He is a negative, toxic individual whom I don't trust given his manipulative and abusive behavior. When his wife finally moved out some ... 11/20/2009 When You Think You've Heard Everything ... You Haven't Dear Margo: I have a doozy for you. My first cousin, "Lily," is a living, breathing waste of space. This girl had her first child at 15, her second at 17. Subsequently, she's had two more. When her first child was 4 months old, Lily's mother ... 11/14/2009 Beyond Tasteless, Not To Mention Tacky Dear Margo: Can you give me some guidance regarding how to respond to a strange request? A friend we see occasionally got engaged six months ago. He's quite the social butterfly and has a ton of acquaintances. A couple of months ago, his fiancee sent ... 11/13/2009 Marrying a Guy in the Mormon Closet. Oy. Dear Margo: My wife's 30-year-old daughter is quite immature emotionally and sexually. She has never had a boyfriend. Her father's family is Jewish, but she converted to Mormonism at 18. She has a close friend who is gay, also a Mormon, so he cannot ... 11/07/2009 He Wants You To What? Dear Margo: My husband of three years has suddenly become a real pervert. We dated for five years prior to marriage, and he was never this way. First, we are a May (me) December (him) relationship. He was always a gentleman, and there was nothing ... 11/06/2009 Please Google Karen Carpenter Dear Margo: I am very worried about my boyfriend. "Lake" is 21, 6 feet tall and 140 pounds. Lately he's begun eating less and less — like one salad per day along with coffee and diet soda. He told me he was "just trying to lose a ... 10/31/2009 When Idiot Strangers Speak Dear Margo: Why do people feel the need to make comments about unusual numbers and sexes and looks of families? I am a mother of three daughters, one son and a stepdaughter. Invariably, when we're out, someone makes a comment. Before the birth of my ... 10/30/2009 This Was, Perhaps, an Ill-Considered Offer Dear Margo: I honestly don't know where to turn. I can't share this information with family or friends, and my husband is so ashamed, he doesn't want me to tell anyone. Now 52, he has been an alcoholic since he was 14. When he decided to quit ... 10/24/2009 Backing Up and Coming Clean Dear Margo: In my senior year of college, I had an affair with my much older professor. It took a while to get over, but now I'm in grad school and he's still my adviser and friend. A few friends and my current boyfriend of 11 months know that there ... 10/23/2009 ...And Maybe Cut Down on the Tequila Dear Margo: My husband and I (he's 50, I'm 41) have been together for five years. Everything looked like roses and sunshine till lately. The man is acting like he's single. For example, I was sick with a nasty case of stomach flu and could hardly lift ... 10/17/2009 And We Have a Winner for the "Skunk Award" Dear Margo: I am in desperate need of advice. My inability to let go of my husband's past is causing a rift in our marriage and a decline in my health. We've been married for a year and generally have a happy relationship. I know he loves me and would ... 10/16/2009 Phone Sex in the Office! Dear Margo: I have a contract position — very much needed after six months of unemployment. I'm doing a good job and get on well superficially with my supervisor. Here's the problem: I am required to sit next to a 40-something schmo in an office ... 10/10/2009 When Mean-Spiritedness Becomes Cruelty Dear Margo: I am 31, and my brother is 28. Our parents divorced five years ago. Our father is remarried to a woman with a 12-year-old daughter, "Leigh." She is not especially bright, but she isn't a hopeless nitwit. Our dad, however, is ... 10/09/2009 A Troubled Person Must Want To "Fix" Himself Dear Margo: I am a 28-year-old woman with a conundrum. I am married to a man I love very much, who says he loves me. However, things are unraveling fast for us. Before we got married, we spoke of all the things we would like to do together — ... 10/03/2009 Her Mother, the Dinosaur Dear Margo: I'm a 22-year-old student who just moved back in with my mother to help ease the cost of medical school. I moved out of our house when I was 17, one day after my graduation from high school, and never wanted to come back. However, I find ... 10/02/2009 Seriously Playing Games Dear Margo: My wife and I regularly play an online video game. Since I work full time and she doesn't, she plays more than I do. A few weeks ago, she asked me if I had a problem with her spending a lot of time playing the game with an online friend, ... 09/26/2009 Why Choose To Feel Rotten? Dear Margo: My father was unwilling to support and nurture his family and never gave my mother the love and care she deserved. When I was 13, she finally kicked him out. He moved across the country, and I haven't seen him since. I wasn't really upset, ... 09/25/2009 Life Is Choices Dear Margo: I have been with my husband for 12 years. We have two sons and a very young daughter. Before I got pregnant with my daughter, I started communicating with a man, "Sean," online. We talked because we were both unhappy with our ... 09/19/2009 I Would Make This a Deal-Breaker Dear Margo: I would like advice on how to be treated with respect by my husband in front of his son and male friends. He is very caring, loyal and considerate when we're with each other. However, whenever his 18-year-old son is with us, my husband ... 09/18/2009 This Is Not "The One" Dear Margo: I am a 30-year-old man with a college degree, a good job in these hard times and a girlfriend of six years who is starting her professional life soon. I love her, but now I am having doubts about our future. Part of the job training she's ... 09/12/2009 Love Thy Neighbor (or Brother) as Thyself -- Unless He Is Gay Dear Margo: I need advice about how to address my oldest brother's hurtful actions toward me and the paralysis it has caused my family. I am a 40-year-old gay man in the Bible Belt. Last December, I married my partner of five years in a legally ... 09/11/2009 The Other Side of the Coin Dear Margo: OMG — I can't believe that you (or my wife) can't figure out why a man wouldn't want to have sex with his wife. There are so many reasons that have nothing to do with being indifferent or gay — medical, girlfriend, performance ... 09/05/2009 Marrying For Money Is a Tough Way To Earn a Living Dear Margo: I am 27, and I married for love at 24. It didn't work out, so now I'm considering dating for money. I enjoy traveling, which is an expensive hobby, and my passion is animals. Without a degree (or the time and money to pursue a degree), I ... 09/04/2009 What To Do When a Daughter Is Without the Compassion Gene Dear Margo: I thought I'd write to you since I have nowhere to turn. I've been divorced for 14 years and had two children from that marriage. I am now married to my new husband and have a son with him. The problem is my daughter from my first marriage,... 08/29/2009 A Personality Makeover, Courtesy of a Jerk Dear Margo: My best college friend and I stayed really close after graduation. A year and a half ago, she broke up with her longtime boyfriend for a new guy, and that's when the trouble started. Even though I couldn't stand the new beau, I let it go ... 08/28/2009 This Kid's No Cinderella Dear Margo: I am the wicked stepmother. I am a lying, thieving, money-hungry tramp who finds no greater joy than that which comes from destroying another couple's loving, stable marriage. Or so the child has been convinced by her mother. She is 8 ... 08/22/2009 My Husband's Father and "Grandma" Dear Margo: My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl who is the first grandchild. Sadly, my husband's mother, "Rose," passed away several years ago, so our daughter will only know Grandma Rose from pictures and stories. "Frank," ... 08/21/2009 Married, Pregnant and Miserable Dear Margo: I am 35 years old, married for two years. Surprisingly, I have a 17-month-old daughter and am four months pregnant — despite the fact that my husband does not want to have sex with me. (Only four times in two years. We have been very ... 08/15/2009 Out of the Mouths of Babes: Their Parents' Opinions Dear Margo: I'm 12 and getting ready to go back to school. I do not want to hear everyone ranting about their freakin' opinions! I don't want to be mean, but my best friend, let's say "Cassie," is a Hard Core Republican and Hard Core ... 08/14/2009 Saying Goodbye Dear Margo: Recently, an elderly friend's husband died after a long illness. His wishes were to leave his body to science and to not have a funeral. His wife of 50 years complied and is privately grieving. My sister, in the final stages of a long ... 08/08/2009 An Unfortunate Draw in the Parent Lottery Dear Margo: At the beginning of the school year, I changed schools, leaving behind a snarky ex-girlfriend named "Anna" (left over from when I was still pretending to be straight). About a month ago, I met up with Anna at a party to which I ... 08/07/2009 Sick of the Tall Remarks Dear Margo: My daughter is 8 years old and probably 4 inches taller than girls her age. She also has large feet. We have lived in Indiana, Michigan and now Wisconsin and still get the rude comments about how tall my daughter is. One neighbor, when he ... 08/01/2009 When Three Is Not a Crowd Dear Margo: I've been in a long-term polyamorous MFM triad with two really wonderful guys for the last four years, one of whom I've been seeing for almost seven. We have a lower-than-average drama quotient than even most dyadic (two person couple) ... 07/31/2009 The Prejudice of Snobbism Dear Margo: I am 20 and have been lucky in life ... growing up in nice neighborhoods, going to good schools, having parents who were successful financially. I am about to get my B.A. and then work full time at a good job. My wonderful boyfriend is 22 ... 07/25/2009 Puh-leaze Dear Margo: You did it again: projecting your unresolved family conflicts onto your readers ... innocent young people looking for wisdom from someone who has little in this area. I really don't want to shame you, Margo, but your level of ... 07/24/2009 Is MySpace Her Space? Dear Margo: After he and my mom divorced, my father dated a woman I'll call "Lucy" for less than a year. During that time, she alienated my sister and me, let her daughter use our toys (and break them), and let her daughter blame things on ... 07/18/2009 A Bit of a Chip on a Sib's Shoulder Dear Margo: I'm 20 years old, pre-med, in my third year at university, maintaining a 3.6 GPA, and working two part-time jobs. I visit my family once a week (it's a two-hour drive back home). I'm loving life. My sister, however, is 21, married with a 2-... 07/17/2009 An Anti-Depressant in a Skirt Dear Margo: My husband has suffered from depression for the past eight years. Several months ago, he seemed to snap out of it — about the same time he became friends with a new co-worker. She is younger than I am and is divorced with two ... 07/11/2009 Recovering from Childhood Dear Margo: I dislike my mother. I lived with her for five years due to my father changing jobs and my not adjusting well to the high school in the city he moved to. While I lived with her, she would scream at me, throw things and make sure to let ... 07/10/2009 My All-Time Most Unusual Letter Dear Margo: My best friend "Anita" told me a year ago that a woman had come forward to say she was her half-sister from a relationship their father had in his early 20s. Everyone welcomed "Penny" into the family, no questions asked.... 07/04/2009 A Real Mess of a Love Affair Dear Margo: My daughter began a relationship with her boss, who was married with six children. This man is 11 years older and was in a position of authority when they met. She is now divorcing her husband, and he has separated from his wife, who has ... 07/03/2009 A 3-Year-Old Hellion? Dear Margo: I have a good friend whose 3-year-old is a complete terror. The child has no boundaries and has never been disciplined in her life. When my friend and her family visit my home, this little girl is constantly jumping on my furniture, ... 06/27/2009 Has He Gotten the Red Sports Car Yet? Dear Margo: I am a middle-aged woman with two girls in college. My problem is my husband's emotional affair with his boss. My husband works at a computer company that requires quite a bit of his time, even weekends. Over the past eight months he's ... 06/26/2009 He's Single ... and Stridently So Dear Margo: I'm a single man, 41, and have successfully operated my business since I was 18. I have a lot of friends, ride a motorcycle, and own a classic car and my own home. There are not enough hours in the day for me to do all of the things and ... 06/20/2009 Nice Touch: "But, Honey, All These Women Look Like You!" Dear Margo: My husband and I met online in 2001, moved in together in '03 and married in 2006. He's wonderful in almost every way, but we've had some huge problems due to his need for sexual attention. Right after I moved in, I found he had a lot of ... 06/19/2009 Wondering Why the Guys Don't Call Again Dear Margo: I am a pre-law student who is intelligent, articulate, caring, outgoing and fun to be around. The problem is that I believe that because of some of my qualities, I am never asked out on dates ... or if I am, I get ditched by the second or ... 06/13/2009 Men in the Clink and the Women Who Love Them ... Next on "Jerry Springer" Dear Margo: I am a 33-year-old woman. For the past nine months, my 20-year-old cousin "Amy" has secretly been dating a 29-year-old known drug dealer and gang member. They were only together for two months before he landed in the county jail ... 06/12/2009 Does Your Friend Have a White Stripe Down His Back? Dear Margo: I have been seeing a man for three years. After a year and a half, I asked him about getting serious and he stated he was already serious with someone else. I asked why he didn't reveal that to me, and he said he wasn't sure if it was ... 06/06/2009 An Eye-Popping Bunch of E-Mail Addresses Dear Margo: Recently I received an e-mail from an author inviting me to a reading. I was delighted. But then I noticed that my personal e-mail was included in the "cc" line along with a long listing of the others who had received the ... 06/05/2009 When a Daughter's Life Is Her Own Dear Margo: I am writing about my 24-year-old daughter I'll call "Florence," who is in a four-year relationship I am extremely upset about. I have spoken with Florence about how I feel, and I also know I am powerless to change her mind. I ... 05/30/2009 Playing Favorites Dear Margo: I am badly in need of advice. I am a child of a blended family. My mother has two children from a previous marriage and one from her current marriage. As teens, my sibling and I were forced out of the house because anger was directed at us.... 05/29/2009 Praying He's Not Out at Home Dear Margo: I am 49 and fell in love with a beautiful man two and a half years ago. Nine months into the relationship, after we'd already begun to talk about marriage, I discovered that his divorce was not yet final. I was sorely disappointed, and his ... 05/23/2009 Religious Fanatics on the Lunatic Fringe Dear Margo: Our daughter started college a year ago, and we've noticed during her visits home that she's not the sweet, innocent girl we sent away for higher learning. We raised her with strong Christian beliefs, but lately she's saying that she's ... 05/22/2009 If Only She Loved Deer and Trout Dear Margo: I have been married to a very nice man for 10 years, but I am bored to death with this marriage. He doesn't like to do anything but hunt and fish. I like to go out and be social — dinner, movies, etc. He doesn't cheat on me or hit me;... 05/16/2009 Mothers and Phone Calls Dear Margo: I am a 40-year-old college-educated business owner, wife and mother of two young boys. My mother and father live a half-hour away. I used to call once a week. If I let more than a week go by, I would get a sour greeting from my mother, ... 05/15/2009 The Seven-Year Itch -- To Work Dear Margo: I met my husband when I was 19, and by the time I was 21 we were married with a child. This year we will celebrate seven years of marriage, all of which have been good. My problem is our youngest, 4, who will be starting kindergarten next ... 05/09/2009 To Have and To Hold ... Everybody? Dear Margo: My wife and I have been married for 28 years and have three boys. I have a great career, we are well educated, and she stays home — which was her choice. Recently we decided to have an open marriage. What are your thoughts on this? ... 05/08/2009 Looking for Greener Grass Dear Margo: I'm in love with two men — married to one of them, "Jack." The other man, "Roger," I've known for years longer. Roger and I had a physical thing prior to my meeting Jack. At the time, I asked him to make it ... 05/02/2009 I Hear Ya Knockin', but You Can't Come In Dear Margo: I need help with a sensitive issue. In the area where I live we get a lot of Jehovah's Witnesses who knock on our doors early on Saturday mornings. Not only do I enjoy sleeping in on my Saturdays, I do not believe what Jehovah's Witnesses ... 05/01/2009 When Nothing Can Be Done, Do Nothing. Dear Margo: I am writing about my 24-year-old daughter, "Florence," who's in a four-year relationship I find extremely upsetting. I have spoken with her about my feelings, but I know I am powerless to change her mind. I have been so upset ... 04/25/2009 Leaving Well Enough Alone Dear Margo: I am 25 and have been in a relationship with 26-year-old "Randolph" for two years. We, of course, have had some emotional ups and downs, but overall it's wonderful. Our sex life has also been incredible. However, about six months ... 04/24/2009 Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid Dear Margo: I am a man in my mid-50s, happily married, with two college-age daughters. Some months ago I was traveling in an area where a woman who was once a big part of my life lives. She sent me a "Dear John" letter many years ago saying ... 04/18/2009 Facing Facts Dear Margo: My partner and I have been together for 26 years. After a messy divorce, he said he didn't need a piece of paper to tell him whom to love. A few months ago I finally got up the nerve to tell him how dissatisfying our sex life has been. I ... 04/17/2009 Kind of Like a Soap Opera Dear Margo: I am 23 years old with two small children. My husband and I have been together for five years. He works out of town most of the week and our time together isn't exactly romantic. Real life is bills and stress, so the loving relationship I ... 04/11/2009 Till High School Do You Part Dear Margo: I'm 21 years old and will be graduating with my bachelor's degree in chemistry, with plans to go for a master's, then a Ph.D. I have a ring and a date from a wonderful man I have been with for four years. Everything is great ... except my ... 04/10/2009 Tired of the Doghouse Dear Margo: My wife and I have been married for seven years, most of which have been wonderful. But now I fear our relationship is broken, and it is my fault. After many years of failing to have children, in 2006 we adopted a wonderful little boy. ... 04/04/2009 Reading the Tea Leaves Dear Margo: I have been dating a man for a little over a year now. He has a good job and an easy laugh, and we have lots of fun times together. However, I get aggravated because it seems he can't do anything for himself. His house and all utilities ... 04/03/2009 No Longing for Long-Gone Dad Dear Margo: When I was a teenager, my father cheated on my mother with his best friend's wife (a close friend of my mother, or so my mother thought). Needless to say, my parents are now divorced. After leaving our family, my father neglected to stay ... 03/28/2009 An "Out of Business" Sign on the Bedroom Door Dear Margo: My wife and I have been married for 25 years. She is 60 and I am 63. For the first 20 years we had what I would call a very normal marriage. Plenty of sex and intimacy. About five years ago she announced she no longer had any desire to ... 03/27/2009 A Multiple-Choice Question Dear Margo: I am a married mother of three. My husband loves me and we have a nice life. Unfortunately, I no longer love him. I am in love with a man who is five years younger. (He is also married with a child.) We both married for the wrong reasons. ... 03/21/2009 The Booby Prize of Boyfriends Dear Margo: I have been in a relationship for three years. We are both 33, never married, no kids. He lives with his aunt and attends college. I live alone and we see each other on weekends. He has always been opinionated and insists his way is always ... 03/20/2009 This Is No Mother-in-Law Joke Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for over 16 years. When we met, I had no clue that his mother was mentally unstable. The first clue came when we were dating: My guy would tell her where we were going or where we went, and his mom ... 03/14/2009 No One Would Call This "Romantic" Dear Margo: I have been dating this guy for a year now, living with him for nine months, and there have been discussions about marriage. I see a grand future for us, as he has a stable job, my parents and friends love him, and he is supportive of ... 03/13/2009 U R A JRK Dear Margo: I've been dating my boyfriend for eight months. Overall, things have been great. There are times we get into arguments and don't agree, but things generally get resolved quickly. Except for one: About two months ago I answered his phone ... 03/07/2009 Yoo-Hoo! We All Hate Her! Dear Margo: My cousin's fiancee is one of the most unpleasant, selfish, obnoxious women my husband and I have ever met. We've gone from seeing my cousin weekly to avoiding any possible interactions with the fiancee. We assumed the relationship wouldn'... 03/06/2009 A New, Creative Kind of Midlife Crisis Dear Margo: I am 43 years old, married to a man, 62. We've been together nine years and have a 7-year-old. Our sex life has always been great, but in the last several months my husband seems to need more. He is requesting that I "hook up" ... 02/28/2009 What To Do When Everything's Out of Whack Dear Margo: I have been married for 21 years to a man who's a member of a cult posing as a religion. It attracts a lot of rich celebrities, but also people who really can't afford what it costs. My husband has given them tens of thousands of dollars ... 02/27/2009 Cheating On, then With, Your Wife Dear Margo: I recently divorced my husband after 14 years. He cheated on me practically the entire time, but I continued to forgive and look beyond his faults. Well, the woman he is with now has been with him for the past eight years. He was cheating ... 02/21/2009 On Flirting and Fidelity Dear Margo: I am 23 and have been faithful to my partner for two years. In the first year of our relationship he had three other sex partners, which was not OK with me. We worked through a lot of pain to stay together. I knew I wanted to marry this ... 02/20/2009 When Getting Caught Is a Blessing Dear Margo: OK, so I am in high school, right? Freshman year. I thought my first year was going to be great, and until a month ago it was. Then my grades started slipping, and eventually I cheated on a quiz to bring my grade up because I was tired of ... 02/14/2009 Just Refuse To Referee Dear Margo: After 29 years together, 26 of them married, my parents are getting divorced. My father has always been a functioning alcoholic who a few years ago ceased to function. His life was down to watching TV and drinking. My mother eventually ... 02/13/2009 Not All Mothers Are in Their Right Minds Dear Margo: I am the stepmother to two children whose mother is nuts. This woman acquired a lot of money in her third marriage and is raising these children to worship the dollar. The tween daughters are lavished with Vuitton and Chanel purses. They ... 02/07/2009 Silence Is Golden, but Only for Some Dear Margo: I am a 27-year-old divorced mother of three. I have a full-time career and am also a part-time college student, all of which I manage well. For the past three months I have been dating a man whom I am thrilled with. (I didn't know there ... 02/06/2009 When the Strategy Is Deny, Deny, Deny Dear Margo: Five months after we were married, my wife had an affair. She was bringing the man into our house, and the affair lasted until I left. I recorded the man's voice on several occasions — even recorded her telling him I was listening ... 02/04/2009 An Open Letter to Amy Dickinson Dear Amy: I have a problem. My distress has actually been going on since 2002, the year my mother died. As many people know, my mother was Ann Landers, and she was Ann Landers for 47 years. That's a long time to build a brand … and build a brand ... 02/04/2009 An Open Letter to Amy Dickinson Dear Amy: I have a problem. My distress has actually been going on since 2002, the year my mother died. As many people know, my mother was Ann Landers, and she was Ann Landers for 47 years. That's a long time to build a brand and build a brand she ... 01/31/2009 When the Wronged Wife Tried To Get Even Dear Margo: I had a seven-year affair with a former co-worker. It ended a year ago. Some weeks ago his wife discovered our extramarital activities via an anonymous letter (not sent by me). Our children go to school together, and his wife approached my ... 01/30/2009 Nice Try, but No Cigar Dear Margo: I'll bet you've heard this before, but it's a first for me. While putting away my husband's laundry, I came across a packet of letters shoved into the back corner of his drawer. They were in a rubber band, without envelopes. These were ... 01/24/2009 When Friends Ask Too Much Dear Margo: My best friend since elementary school (I'll call her CJ) is married to a man I have never liked (I'll call him Phil). Even when they dated I considered Phil overbearing and foolish. I pleaded with her not to marry him, but she did. I ... 01/23/2009 Secret Second Families Dear Margo: I recently left my husband of 21 years and now live alone. All things considered, it's been an amicable split and we are still on good terms. We have a 21-year-old daughter and an 18-year-old son. They not only supported my decision, they ... 01/17/2009 The Clergy Are Not Necessarily Perfect People Dear Margo: My family is at their wits' end with a major upset, courtesy of my grandparents. They have decided to leave everything (down to the dust on the floor) to their church, where my uncle is the pastor. My family is not upset about the money (... 01/16/2009 When the Beans Are Spilled... Dear Margo: I am riddled with guilt, though I'm not sure if I should feel this way. Recently, one of my best friends found out she's pregnant and informed only a handful of people. She plans to have the baby, give it up for adoption to a loving family,... 01/10/2009 Pass the Sprouts, Please, and Hold the Lecture Dear Margo: I quit eating all meat (including fowl and seafood) about 20 years ago. People who become vegetarians do it for various reasons. We are not all animal-rights fanatics or health nuts. I have no problem with other people eating meat. (My ... 01/09/2009 When a Father Can't Quite Hack It Dear Margo: My parents have been divorced since I was 3. I'm in my 30s now and still feel bad about the fact that my father seems to disappear from my life for long periods of time. Several years ago I tried to contact him, and I found out that all ... 01/03/2009 When It's Time To Give Him His Discharge Papers Dear Margo: I have been married for 20 years to a man who has cheated numerous times. Recently, I actually busted him because he had become a bit careless. My problem is that I have been with this man for over half of my life and do not know how to ... 01/02/2009 Let This Be Your New Year's Resolution Dear Margo: Five years ago, while still married, I got involved with my high-school sweetheart. It was a hard time in my marriage, and he said he had always been unhappy in his. I am now divorced. I left everything behind, home and friends, to start ... 12/27/2008 The Family Version of a Court Martial Dear Margo: Like me, my son is in the Army and has two daughters and two sons. I've had a very close relationship with my older granddaughter from our first meeting when she was just over a year old (she is now 9). That child had always kissed me on ... 12/26/2008 What To Do When Old Boyfriends Get a Big Hello! Dear Margo: I'm 39 and my girlfriend is 47. We have been together for five years. A couple of times now, she has "run into" two old male friends and spent the whole day with them. She says they were just catching up and reliving old times. ... 12/20/2008 A Wildly Expensive Green Card Dear Margo: Here's a good one for you. A friend of mine, who moved here from England a year ago, found out that his immigration lawyer had not processed his paperwork correctly and he was told to leave the country. Well, he met this girl online, who ... 12/19/2008 Oh, Puh-lease Dear Margo: I have been dating the same guy for a little more than a year. I am happy with our relationship except for one thing: He wants to keep us a secret. He thinks my friends and family don't know, when in reality they do. He says he doesn't ... 12/13/2008 If Only She Were a Goalie! Dear Margo: I have been dating a guy for two years, and when we met, everything was perfection. We have had ups and downs, of course, but I feel there's one thing that is always putting a strain on our life: My boyfriend is totally obsessed with the ... 12/12/2008 Surely a First ... at Least in My Experience Dear Margo: I will get straight to the point: My boyfriend is in love with my mother. A few weeks ago I brought my new boyfriend, "Max," home to meet my parents. Max immediately fell head over heels for my mom. I've told him that she's ... 12/06/2008 Not Exactly Sweet 16 Dear Margo: I'm 16 years old and don't feel that my mother and I have good communication skills with each other. It seems like every time we talk whatever I say goes in one ear and out the other, but I have to listen to my mom tell me to grow up, lose ... 12/05/2008 What To Do with an Incriminating E-mail that Wasn't Meant for You Dear Margo: This morning I was checking my e-mail and found a message from my father-in-law. It began "Dear Anne" — not my name and not his wife's name. It went on to say that he "had a good time yesterday, hoped she did, too, and ... 11/29/2008 Little Pitchers Have Big Ears, and They Can Louse Up Your Sex Life Dear Margo: I am 50 and recently married for the first time. My husband is 66. I find when we are alone — say, in a hotel room or vacationing — the sex is great. When we are at home (the one he shared with his first wife and still shares ... 11/28/2008 Surprise! Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for 35 years, have four wonderful children, and grandchildren. My problem is that a week ago we received a phone call from a girl claiming she is my husband's daughter from an affair years ago. From what ... 11/22/2008 How Long Is Too Long? Dear Margo: I am 34 and have been dating a man, 42, for two years. We've both been married and divorced twice. He has a 7-year-old from his second marriage. When we first started seeing each other it was just for fun. Neither of us thought it would go ... 11/21/2008 Literally in the Gene Pool Dear Margo: After years of separation, I reunited with my father 13 years ago. We have a pretty good relationship, all things considered. I am friendly with my stepmom and half-siblings. A couple of years ago I went to their home to hang out with my ... 11/15/2008 When Your Glasses Get Steamed Up Dear Margo: I am a 19-year-old female living with my fiance of two years. I do love him, but we have one main problem: our sex life. He wants to have sex every day, even though I, for the most part, am no longer interested in sex ... with him. We have ... 11/14/2008 A Message from a Beard Dear Margo: I am writing to all the women who write to you saying their husbands lose all interest in sex after they marry. I had a similar experience 10 years ago. Prior to marriage, my fiance and I had sex about once a week, sometimes more, which ... 11/08/2008 Livin' in Sin and Liking It Dear Margo: I am in a committed long-term relationship of 12 years. We are in our mid-30s, live together and have a 9-year-old child together. We are happy with our relationship just as it is. My problem is that we are under constant pressure from his ... 11/07/2008 Dead-Drunk at the Altar? I Don't Think So. Dear Margo: I recently got engaged to a man I have been with for five years, since I was 18 — he is five years older. During those years, he told his friends that he would need to be drunk to get married. And ... he told me he is going to get ... 11/01/2008 What To Do with Your Couch Potato Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for three years. We are both military and in the same field. We have the same exact argument at least twice a month because he does not do his part at home. He is always "tired" from his long ... 10/31/2008 Oh, Dad, Poor Dad, Where Are Your Cajones? Dear Margo: I am a 28-year-old professional woman. My father raised my sister and me by himself and did a great job. He even had to fight for custody of us because in the early '80s not many fathers got custody of two daughters. We've always had a ... 10/25/2008 And Mormons Aren't the Only Ones Dear Margo: I am 18 years old and have recently come to terms with the fact that I am gay. The enormous issue with this comes from the fact that I am of the Mormon faith, which famously takes a strict stance on homosexuality. I attend a church school ... 10/24/2008 From Jailbait to Mistress: A Mother's Distress Dear Margo: My daughter has been having an affair with a married man since he seduced her at a young age. She is now almost 21 and claims she is very much in love with him. I remind her that he does not belong to her but to his wife. This man is the ... 10/18/2008 Surely Not the Only Gay in Greece Dear Margo: I am a 23-year-old man from Greece currently living in England for studies. One of the reasons I ended up here was because of the way I feel my family will react to my lifestyle, as I am gay. By family, I mostly mean my mother, as almost ... 10/17/2008 When a Woman's Assets Are ... Her Assets Dear Margo: I have seen an old friend fall for a man I think is a sleazy jerk and certainly a non-starter in terms of a continuing relationship, let alone marriage. She has money of her own and very few relatives. He seemed to swoop down on her out of ... 10/11/2008 "I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You." Aaarrrrrgggh. Dear Margo: I am a 23-year-old woman who is dating a 47-year-old man. Age never has been an issue with us. We get along wonderfully and share so many things. About three months into our relationship (we've been together for one and a half years) I ... 10/10/2008 When Keeping a Secret Is the Wise Thing To Do Dear Margo: Three years ago I started a condoned affair with another man. This affair changed rapidly over five months from a "fling" to an all-out love affair that only ended when he asked me to leave my husband. I had been married less ... 10/04/2008 Divorced But Not Really Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for a year and together for four. When we met, he and his now ex-wife "Nancy" were just separating. They had known each other since high school and have remained in contact. About a week ago my ... 10/03/2008 The Horndog Keeps Barking Dear Margo: I am a 40-year-old man who has been in and out of therapy since seventh grade. I was even admitted into psychiatric care on two separate occasions by my attending physician. Over the years, I have lived life recklessly and have done many ... 09/27/2008 Money Is Not a Tranquilizer Dear Margo: I work in the vacation rental industry, and the company I work with manages more than a thousand beach cottages and condos in the Deep South. This means we have over a thousand cottage owners and tens of thousands of guests. Never in my ... 09/26/2008 Out of the Closet -- Literally Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have a 9-year-old daughter. My friends and family adore him. He's a wonderful husband, a great father, and has been more than I could have ever asked for. However, there's a serious issue ... 09/20/2008 "Hello, I'm Your Sister." Dear Margo: I can't believe I am actually putting this into words. I recently found out that a woman my father slept with years ago had a child who was put up for adoption. I was not close with my father, but now I am, and we have contacted my half-... 09/19/2008 What To Do When Wild Bill Hickok Lives Next Door Dear Margo: We have a neighbor who we feel is unhinged. We have concerns not only for our safety, but for that of our other neighbors. "Joe" loves guns, and there is nothing wrong with that, but his use of them verges on the fanatical. Joe ... 09/13/2008 Slipping the Knots of a Bad Boyfriend Dear Margo: This is a new problem for me, but it may be more common than I realize. I have been in a great relationship for a year and a half. We're both very happy. In fact, my problem is not with him. Before we started dating, I was involved in an ... 09/12/2008 Nice Work If You Can Get It Dear Margo: When I married "Phil" two years ago, I was in heaven. It was the culmination of several wonderful years of living together. But at the time we were married, my husband was unemployed. He'd had a not-so-rewarding experience in his ... 09/06/2008 What, Exactly, Constitutes An Affair? Dear Margo: I'm in an unusual (or perhaps not) situation. Some years ago, my husband had an online affair that lasted for two years. He set up an e-mail account that I did not know about and used it only to contact her. He told me he never had ... 09/05/2008 Dear Margo, September 5 This is an unusual column for me to write. Throughout my years as an advice columnist (first as "Dear Prudence," now "Dear Margo"), I have never plugged anything or suggested to my readers that they participate in any event. ... 08/30/2008 Lights, Camera, Action! Dear Margo: I have been working for a director for some time now — from the time I was in school. I adore him; he's my hero. He's married to an older woman who is a producer with whom I also work. Recently I've been working very closely with him.... 08/29/2008 Wake Up and Smell the Manipulator Dear Margo: I think my husband of 20 years had an affair. He claims he and this woman (someone I know) were "just friends," and that she was "someone to talk to" while he and I were having difficulties. Well, talk they did. He ... 08/23/2008 One Need Not Go to China for Chinese Food Dear Margo: My friend has been writing, e-mailing and web-camming a man located in China who is from Africa. He has sent her a plane ticket to China for a two-week visit. I think she is crazy for thinking about going on a first date in China. She says ... 08/22/2008 There's a Name for It When You Charge for Time Spent Together Dear Margo: I have been with my fiance for almost a year and am deeply in love with him. We're planning a future together and talk about it often; however, I have a slight problem with his "religious beliefs." He was raised a Christian, yet ... 08/16/2008 When the "Sex Coupons" Are Not from Your Wife Dear Margo: I found a sexually explicit card and sex coupons from my husband's lover. He insists nothing went on and that it was just a fluke that he received such cards and coupons. If I can't get him to tell me what went on, is it OK to go after the ... 08/15/2008 Can You Still Give Presents If You're Dead? Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for five years. We have two beautiful daughters, ages 3 and 1. My problem is that my mother-in-law buys gifts for my oldest daughter and signs the card with the name of her deceased son (my daughter's ... 08/09/2008 Read the Tea Leaves, Hon Dear Margo: I met an intelligent and absolutely drop-dead gorgeous young woman a few months ago. I thought everything was fine between us until a few weeks ago, so I wanted to get your take on it. A few months ago, the woman in question became the new ... 08/08/2008 The Mystery Man on the Mantle Dear Margo: My husband of four years, "Ralph," served in the Air Force before we met. He received an injury to his leg and was deemed permanently unfit for combat. The first morning we spent in our new house, he put several pictures of ... 08/02/2008 When a Painful Past Intrudes on the Future Dear Margo: I am a 23-year-old Catholic male. The last serious relationship I was in ended when I was 17. Even though we dated for three years, we never went "all the way." Now I am intimidated by women who have more sexual history than I do.... 08/01/2008 When Parental Concern and Tough Love Intersect Dear Margo: I am a 42-year-old woman married to a wonderful 51-year-old man for 15 years. My husband is the kind of man anyone can depend on. He is kind and as good as his word. However, he has a 30-year-old son who is about to be released from prison ... 07/26/2008 Thanks for the Memories Dear Margo: About four and a half years ago I had a one-night stand with a friend of a friend who was leaving in a few weeks for the Army. I got pregnant and we decided to abort the pregnancy. We communicated by e-mail after the incident, and although ... 07/25/2008 Big Trouble with an 8-Year-Old Dear Margo: My wife and I have a loving marriage. We have been through more than our share of hard times. One problem that keeps coming up in our relationship is her 8-year-old son. He is Oedipal — extremely jealous of any attention his mother ... 07/19/2008 When There's a Deficit of Decency Dear Margo: What ever happened to raising your children and letting them face the world when they are grown? My husband's family thought I wasn't good enough for him and refused to talk to him when we married. Making matters worse, I had to deal with ... 07/18/2008 No More Mr. Nice Guy, As They Say Dear Margo: I'm a 20-something female. At my gym I made the mistake of politely saying hello to a stranger, a 50-ish male, because he said hi to me. In so doing, I unwittingly opened the floodgates to this man's personal history (sexual exploits ... 07/12/2008 Wake Up and Smell the Malevolence Dear Margo: I'm engaged to a man I love ferociously. However, over the past four years his ex-girlfriend has caused a lot of trouble by attacking me verbally and also threatening me on three occasions. My fiance claims their relationship is almost ... 07/11/2008 When Rape Produces a Child Dear Margo: Each night I lay awake wondering what I'm going to do down the road when my daughter starts questioning her parentage. While she's still young, not even 2 years old yet, I know this is going to come up eventually. She has a wonderful, ... 07/05/2008 From Here to Eternity Dear Margo: I despise going to wakes and funerals. I always have. I understand that the person is gone and what remains is the empty body. I don't need to look at it, I don't need to cry over it, I don't need to "say goodbye" to it. It is no ... 07/04/2008 What a Guy! Dear Margo: I have been married for 25 years and have two children, one adult and one teenager. I have never been happy in my marriage. I decided a long time ago that my commitment was to maintaining a secure family life for my children, mostly ... 06/28/2008 One Romance -- Two Views Dear Margo: I've been dating a guy I'll call "Greg" for a year and a half. We had a great relationship; I always had a lot of fun with him. However, we often had little quarrels over unimportant things, whereas we were able to solve bigger ... 06/27/2008 Snake Eyes Dear Margo: My former wife and I met while we were both working in Las Vegas. We had a fast courtship, married, had a son, and then realized we really could not live together. The divorce was amicable enough. Because she did not like her job but I ... 06/21/2008 Not Quite in May-December Territory Dear Margo: I'm the luckiest woman in the world. A truly remarkable man and I are madly in love; the relationship is wonderful and we are very good for each other. The catch? I am 30 and he is 22. Eight years may not seem like a large age gap, but I'm ... 06/20/2008 When a Parent Doesn't Handle Money Responsibly Dear Margo: I am 40. My grandfather died when I was a teenager, and his will skipped over my mother and left his modest life savings to me for my education. I was frugal, worked through college and invested the money. I am middle class with normal ... 06/14/2008 Hey, Buddy, Put Your Clothes On Dear Margo: I have been dating a man for a year. He's been divorced for two years. He has a daughter who will be turning 7 in about four months. The concern I have about his relationship with his daughter is that he has to sleep with her because she ... 06/13/2008 When Your Life Is a Soap Opera Dear Margo: I was divorced and unattached for 10 years before meeting and eventually marrying a wonderful woman I thought I knew quite well. We happily dated for 18 months prior to marriage, with no problems in the all-important area of compatibility, ... 06/07/2008 Apron Strings and Angst Dear Margo: I am just holding on by a thread. I have been with my fiance for 12 years now. We have been engaged for two years because I can't seem to get him to grow up. His mother has her claws in him in every way possible, and it drives me crazy the ... 06/06/2008 Her Mother Could Be on the Mt. Rushmore of Shrews Dear Margo: I grew up the daughter of an abusive alcoholic father and an emotionally absent mother. Though it wasn't easy, my father and I have reconciled and have a great relationship. My mother, on the other hand, is a miserable, bitter woman. When ... 05/31/2008 One Size Does Not Fit All Dear Margo: My 30th birthday is next week, and I'm already getting the inevitable "biological clock" questions from family and friends. I'm single, have a great job with awesome advancement potential, make good money, and have my retirement ... 05/30/2008 When Reading the Tea Leaves Is Essential Dear Margo: I fell in love with a great guy about three years ago. Problem is, I am bipolar, and I was in the middle of a manic stage. Now I am in a deep depression. I take my meds, but sometimes they just don't work. I am in the process of switching ... 05/24/2008 When Parents Are Simply Wrong Dear Margo: I am a 26-year-old woman in a loving relationship with my fiance. There have been a lot of changes in my life recently, what with graduating college and looking forward to dental school in June. And ... we just found out I am pregnant. To ... 05/23/2008 When You Think You've Heard Everything Dear Margo: My daughter is in a bad marriage. She has a 7-year-old son from a previous relationship whom her current husband has never adopted. They have one toddler son together and a daughter on the way. My daughter is thinking about giving up her ... 05/17/2008 A Toxic Mother-Daughter Relationship and a Diary Dear Margo: A friend of mine is struggling with her teenage daughter. Via reading her diary, a routine practice, my friend discovered that the girl is wading into intimate waters with her boyfriend; that this boyfriend slapped her during an argument; ... 05/16/2008 Did You Ever See a Wart Walking? Dear Margo: I've had a very good girlfriend for about four years. She has a boyfriend she's been with for five years. I don't really have anything nice to say about him. When we all hang out, things are OK; it's the rest of the time that is ... 05/10/2008 What's Up, Doc? Dear Margo: For more than a year, I have been dating an emergency room doctor who works with her ex-fiance. She knew he was not right for her and left him over two years ago. He admitted many infidelities throughout his life and even now is dating ... 05/09/2008 A Lot of Sex Is in Your Mind Dear Margo: My husband of a year, "Michael," is everything a partner should be: generous, caring, supportive, intelligent, easygoing and optimistic. My ex-boyfriend, "George," is none of those things. He's controlling, obsessive-... 05/03/2008 Wedding Bell Blues Dear Margo: Longtime reader, first-time writer. Now I have a specific question for you. I am getting married to a wonderful man, and I am tied in a knot about tying the knot. We are both close to our large extended families, but neither of us wants a ... 05/02/2008 Goodbye to All That Dear Margo: I'm 34 years old, married for 16 years. I was 18 when we married, and he is older. I was in love and thought, like many women, that I would live happily ever after. What a crock! My problem is this: I have completely outgrown this man. He ... 04/26/2008 When To Correct Someone Dear Margo: I have a delicate problem. My children are adopted, and time after time people make comments in front of them that I feel the need to correct. They may range from someone who knows they're adopted saying, "This is your real mom; no ... 04/25/2008 Talk About a Makeover! Dear Margo: I am currently married to a wonderful woman (together three years, married one). Recently she met a woman, and all of a sudden my wife is getting text messages and phone calls, and is staying over at her place. Some of my friends have told ... 04/19/2008 When Wishing Does Not Make It So Dear Margo: I have a 25-year-old son who has been married to his high-school sweetheart for less than two years. Several weeks ago I found out he was cheating on her, and I confronted him. He subsequently told his wife, who left him and moved in with ... 04/18/2008 Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places Dear Margo: I'm 30 years old and have been married to an incredible, loving, caring man for 10 years. We have a beautiful family and we adore our children. Our sex life was pretty boring at first, as neither of us had any prior experience, but in the ... 04/12/2008 How To Smother a Relationship Dear Margo: Last February I met an amazing woman online. We have been talking ever since, and we have met. On those occasions, we have been intimate. In many ways I feel I've found someone with whom I feel safe. However, I have always had many friends ... 04/11/2008 When the Girlfriend's Mother Is Mrs. Robinson Dear Margo: I am a 32-year-old man. After a string of older women, I have happily, though uncharacteristically, been dating a woman eight years my junior for about a year. I am deeply in love with her, and we have been seriously discussing moving in ... 04/05/2008 When There Is No Substitute for Time Dear Margo: I had been out of the dating scene for a while, but finally found someone I really like and think would be a good match for me. We get along great and I get the sense there is mutual interest. I have kept matters on a friendly basis thus ... 04/04/2008 Brother, Can You Spare $1,000? Dear Margo: I have a history of being the banker of the family. My wife and I both do OK for a couple with no formal education. I was injured a couple of years ago, and even without my paycheck, God blessed us: I got a very large settlement. I'm on ... 03/29/2008 When It's Time for a Clean Slate Dear Margo: I've known "Austin" for almost three years, and we're not just friends, but the kind with benefits. At first I thought this was just a rebound, but I came to know him and fell in love. He's smart, nice, honest and a gentleman. ... 03/28/2008 Doctor? Mother? A Personal Choice Dear Margo: I have a 26-year-old sister who was halfway through medical school before she decided to drop out and have two children. Initially, my family was shocked and angry, as she did not reveal her pregnancy until her first baby was born — ... 03/22/2008 Everyone Deserves an End to Victimhood Dear Margo: I grew up in a minister's family (the oldest girl of four children), but it was a dysfunctional one — something I've never been able to reconcile. From a young age until I was in high school, I was regularly whipped with a belt as ... 03/21/2008 Maybe She'd Like To Buy the Brooklyn Bridge? Dear Margo: I have a very dear friend who's been my roommate for years. She has a good heart and a lot going for her, but when it comes to men and love, she is blind, which may be an understatement. Recently her boyfriend of six months was arrested ... 03/15/2008 Not Exactly an Ax Murder Dear Margo: Where to start? I am 30 years old with two kids. I just came out of a long relationship. I had a one-night stand with the brother of one of my old friends. I don't see them often, but now that I live closer I have been visiting more. I am ... 03/14/2008 Truman Capote had it Wrong Dear Margo: My mother is a firm believer in Truman Capote's saying, "You can never be too rich or too thin," and is fond of repeating the phrase often. When I was in high school, I ran at least three miles a day and was on both the cross-... 03/08/2008 Nothing is Simple Dear Margo: I have been married for 18 years and am going through a painful divorce (her idea). One of the main problems she had with me was that after we married and had a daughter, I told her she had to choose between seeing her father and staying ... 03/07/2008 When the Tooth Fairy Is an Intellectual Dear Margo: What do you say to your child when he gets a lot less money from the tooth fairy than other kids? My kid gets books and letters from the tooth fairy and just a small amount of money. (This applies to Santa, too.) Thanks. —Working on ... 03/01/2008 When to Ring Off Dear Margo: I am writing about those (expletive) cell phones. They have now put me in a situation. My husband and I were having dinner at our house with his brother and sister-in-law. After dinner, we moved to the living room for coffee and dessert. ... 02/29/2008 When the Stepmother is a Filbert Dear Margo: I am getting married in less than a year to a wonderful person with whom I see myself having a long and contented future. However, the problem is not with my fiancee, but with my parents. They've been divorced almost 10 years, and ever ... 02/23/2008 Woo-Hoo! Some Mousy Sister-in-Law Dear Margo: My brother, 12 years my senior, has been married to a rather mousy woman for quite some time. They were married when I was 14, and she was wary of "children," so we have never been close. My sister and I, however, have a great ... 02/22/2008 Why It Took Three Hours to Feed the Cat Dear Margo: I'm a 23-year-old mother of two boys. One night at about 7, I remembered I had to feed my parents' cat while they were away. I told my husband I'd be back in a little while and didn't even bother to put on a coat. I drove to my parents' ... 02/16/2008 How About Never? Is That Good for You? Dear Margo: My father and mother divorced when I was 18, and I am fine with that. This was 20 years ago and I am now 38. My father remarried a few years ago and his wife is trying to control how I raise my child. I wouldn't mind so much if she were ... 02/15/2008 Why a DNA Test May Not be So Smart Dear Margo: My wife and I have been married for 28 years. We have three happy children, and that is the problem. My wife never had much of a sex drive; two to three times a year was more than enough for her. The only time she was interested was when ... 02/09/2008 Three in the Marriage; One is a Ghost Dear Margo: I met this terrific man on an online dating site. He had been widowed for 14 months and I was divorced. We fell in love and both felt confident that we'd found what we were searching for. We married, and since we lived in different states, ... 02/08/2008 What To Do When Your Mother-in-Law is Nuts Dear Margo: I want to start off by saying my mother-in-law is CRAZY. I don't mean that loosely, either. My husband and I have been married for over five years now, and she still, to this day, hates me. That isn't the part that bothers me, though. What ... 02/02/2008 I Have a Feeling He's Not Alone Dear Margo: I have been married to a wonderful woman for many years. Our marriage is the best I know, except in one area: We are, and have always been, sexually incompatible. She does not like sex, and I have many fantasies that remain bottled up. ... 02/01/2008 He's Not So Much a Boyfriend as a Stylist Dear Margo: Well, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and I love him very much. There is one problem: Sometimes he says things about my looks that hurt my feelings. He says I look like I'm 15 (I'm 21) so I shouldn't wear my costume ... 01/26/2008 "Narrow-Minded" Is Putting It Kindly Dear Margo: I have a 10-year-old stepson, and in a recent conversation with my mother about a birthday card for him, she got extremely angry with me and yelled, "Why should I send him a card? He is nothing to me. He is not my family and he is not ... 01/25/2008 When Mother Does Not Know Best Dear Margo: My mom is 66 and was widowed 15 years ago. My stepfather was a verbally abusive alcoholic who made life miserable for my younger sister, my mother and me. (He died at age 44 from complications of alcoholism.) This past spring, my mom met ... 01/19/2008 When a Sister Ain't So Sisterly Dear Margo: I am writing to you in hopes of gaining some wisdom to share with my younger brother, who just enlisted in the Navy Reserve. It began five years ago with my wedding. The wedding date my husband and I chose happened to coincide with that of ... 01/18/2008 When You Can't Very Well Wear a Clothespin on Your Nose Dear Margo: I live with and am engaged to a 53-year-old man — 13 years older than I am. He is a very loving and giving man. I adore him and am looking forward to being married to him. He has strange little quirks that I am adjusting to, but ... 01/12/2008 A Family Spat About Gay Visitors Dear Margo: My husband and I have been together for 19 years. We have had normal problems over the years, but now there's one we can't seem to work through. He is a self-employed contractor. One of his employees is gay. I do not approve of this ... 01/11/2008 That's a Long Time Between Drinks, as They Say Dear Margo: I have been married for 31 years to a good woman with whom I have three children, one remaining at home. My wife and I have had sex three or four times in the past 15 years. This has worked a hardship on me such as I cannot describe. ... 01/05/2008 She Is Thinking of Stepping Out Dear Margo: I have been married to a kind and sensitive man for seven years and we are very good friends. We have two young children we both adore, and our lives are comfortable and basically good. However, we have struggled with communication and ... 01/04/2008 He Said, She Said -- Literally Dear Readers: It is rather unusual in this line of work to hear both sides of a story. I don't know whether the woman who wrote me showed her boyfriend the letter, merely told him she was going to write or he sneaked a look at her computer. In any ... 12/29/2007 Oh, the Things You Find Out Online Dear Margo: I find myself in a predicament that I never in a million years would have predicted. I am a 25-year-old man who is married to a beautiful, committed wife. Recently, I was chatting online and met a guy. He was funny and quick-witted. ... 12/28/2007 He Believes in What?! Dear Margo: My boyfriend, "Matt," and I have been together a little more than four years. We have a very strong relationship and have discussed marriage and children, but we both agree we should wait. Well, a couple of weeks ago, out ... 12/22/2007 High-Class Worries, as My Dad Used To Say Dear Margo: I am in my early 20s. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and have a wonderful relationship. We've survived three periods of long distance, one breakup (soon reversed) and a host of other issues. We are absolutely ... 12/21/2007 Confessions on MySpace Dear Margo: I was checking out my 12-year-old daughter's MySpace (she knows I do this as a condition of her having it) and found my 14-year-old niece's MySpace (that my brother and sister-in-law do not know she has), where she alluded to having a &... 12/15/2007 Don't Let the Ex Isolate the Kids Dear Margo: I've been divorced now for a little over 10 years. In the process, my ex-wife has alienated my family to the point where they want nothing to do with her. That's fine because I only deal with my ex-wife as necessary. The crux of the ... 12/14/2007 When His Past Is the Gift That Keeps On Giving Dear Margo: I met and married the man of my dreams four years ago. Both of us were in our 40s, and obviously we each had a past. I was honest about mine; he said he just didn't remember things. After we married he remembered a few things . . . ... 12/08/2007 Get Out of the Closet and Out of the Town Dear Margo: I'm a 27-year-old gay Afro American male, and I'm not out to my family or friends because I will lose all of them. They are church folks and think all gays are gonna burn in hell. I love them from the bottom of my heart, but I'm in ... 12/07/2007 When the Truth Hurts Dear Margo: I have a friend at work with whom I am relatively close. She regularly talks about how she can't wait to get married and how her house will look and the kids she will have. The problem is that she is extremely overweight and does ... 12/01/2007 When Cleanliness Is Next to . . . Impossible Dear Margo: My wife and I have been married 11 years. We have four wonderful kids, with a fifth on the way. Due to my financial situation, my wife has not had to work outside the home. In fact, I don't work outside the home, either. My office is in ... 11/30/2007 Spreadsheets and Strudel Dear Margo: I have been working in the same job for the past two years and am still dumbfounded by the work environment. There is a heavy emphasis on entertaining and hanging out. We have potlucks and luncheons, birthday parties and gift exchanges ... 11/24/2007 Should the Romance Go Up in Smoke? Dear Margo: Normally I believe people should largely figure out their own problems, but this is about a woman I love so much I would do anything to make her happy, even write to an advice column. I'll spill the info: We've been going out for ... 11/23/2007 More Polyamory . . . Dear Readers: I ran a letter from a woman in a polyamorous situation and many people felt my answer was condescending. I apparently did not choose my words carefully, because I have no problem with how consenting adults want to live. I was merely ... 11/17/2007 Using Real Estate as Revenge? Dear Margo: Before my husband and I married, he was married to another woman. That marriage lasted just three months, as his ex-wife had an extramarital affair. The divorce was pretty straightforward, though messy, and my husband had to remove her ... 11/16/2007 Dynamite and the Telephone Dear Margo: About five years ago I met a North Carolina guy online. We became friends and have e-mailed and IM'd each other. We were just friends! However, about a month ago we started talking on the phone and really got to know each other. We have so ... 11/10/2007 Better Late Than Never Dear Margo: I met "Tom" in college, and we were great friends. We got drunk on a Friday night, and nine months later we had a daughter. We have remained friendly and civil to one another for our daughter's sake. The problem is that my ... 11/09/2007 Say Cheese . . . But Keep Your Clothes On Dear Margo: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. We parted on good terms and remain friends. Once, when we were intimate, we captured ourselves on film, with the understanding that the pictures would be promptly deleted. He assured me ... 11/03/2007 Loss, Grief and Jack Daniels Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married almost five years. We have one of those relationships everyone envies. I have three children from a previous marriage that he and his family have taken in as their own. Why am I complaining? His mother is ... 11/02/2007 Kind of Like Unofficial Polygamy Dear Margo: I am a very happily married woman with a problem: well-intentioned friends and family. My husband and I are polyamorous and not ashamed of it. We have wonderful girlfriends who are special and a part of our family. The problem is ... 10/27/2007 My Neighbor, the Octopus Dear Margo: When I moved into my condo, a neighbor welcomed me to the neighborhood. He introduced himself, then asked my name. Though I am quite private, I felt forced to be friendly, so I introduced myself. Now, every time he sees me, he yells out my ... 10/26/2007 The Prescription for No Squabbling Dear Margo: I have been married for over 15 years and continue to have issues with my mother-in-law. Since the first day she walked into my home, she has been stealing prescription drugs (painkillers) and acts as though she's done nothing wrong. <... 10/20/2007 Men, Menopause and the Proverbial Red Sports Car Dear Margo: I am 55 and have been married to a wonderful 62-year-old man for 20 years. I have always felt our marriage was strong. However, during the last nine months he has been corresponding by e-mail with a 40-year-old woman he met through work a ... 10/19/2007 Just Another Babe-Hound Dear Margo: I am a 21-year-old female who has been having a secret affair with my boss for the past two years. When I met him he was single, but now he is engaged. He wants to continue the affair, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I also ... 10/13/2007 All the Signs Are There Dear Margo: It seems that lately my fiancee and I can't stop arguing about petty things that invariably turn into huge rows. I had a problem with her allowing her cat to remain on the bed while we were trying to have some "private time.&... 10/12/2007 The Doctor Is In -- and Hot! Dear Margo: I work in a male-dominated field and am therefore around lots of men every day. Not until I went to see this physician did I feel what I guess people call chemistry. My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is ... 10/06/2007 When To Ignore Outsiders Dear Margo: My "father" died recently. I didn't know him. To make a long story short, he was horribly abusive to my brother, my mom and me. I remember vomiting in kindergarten because I was so worried he would kill my mom while I was in ... 10/05/2007 Dealing With the Round-Heeled Roommate Dear Margo: I have been dating a wonderful man long distance for several months now. Right about the time we started dating, he moved into an apartment with a new roommate — a young female member of his extended group of friends. "... 09/29/2007 BadApple.com Dear Margo: I live in Australia and am 21 years old. Three years ago, I met a man on an online role-playing site, and we seemed to click. We talked nearly every night about planning our next posts together, and it progressed from there. "... 09/28/2007 'O Sole Mio Dear Margo: I am a childless woman in my early 50s. My husband and I are apart. Since I am still on his health insurance (and gratefully so), we have never performed the Big Severance. My problem is not with him, but with men I meet in my ... 09/22/2007 Tactless to the Max Dear Margo: I have been best friends with "Anne" since kindergarten. Until recently, we were both single and loving it. We went on a trip abroad with some friends, and I started dating "Julie." This was my first lesbian ... 09/21/2007 A Train Wreck in the Making Dear Margo: My sister recently separated from her husband of 20 years. She and her 10-year-old son moved in with my husband and me. To cut to the chase, my sister sleeps with her son, wipes his bottom (she says he gets a rash if she doesn't), bathes ... 09/15/2007 When Mother Needs to Put a Sock in It Dear Margo: I need advice about my mother. I am 21, pregnant and happily married to a wonderful man. We recently moved from 20 hours to five hours away from my mother. Since then, she has driven me completely nuts! All my life she has told me ... 09/14/2007 He's Right Up There in the "Lousy Husband" Sweepstakes Dear Margo: I have been married for 13 years. This is my second marriage. I have one son from my previous marriage and two daughters from this marriage. My first marriage dissolved because of mental and physical abuse. I feel that my second marriage ... 09/08/2007 When He's Really an Older Man Dear Margo: I'm 20, on my own, and putting myself through college. Without meaning to sound cocky, I'm very attractive and can reel in any man I want, so most people are surprised when they find out my boyfriend of two years is 30 years older than I ... 09/07/2007 When Nay-Sayers Don't Belong at the Wedding Dear Margo: I was raised in a strict, religious household that more often than not bordered on being abusive. Over the years, I was able to make peace with these family members, but I still remain cautious and guarded where my children are concerned. 09/01/2007 No Boyfriend Worries. In Fact, No Boyfriend Dear Margo: I'm a 24-year-old female, newly graduated from college and living the first "real" year of my life in the big city. I've always been one who marches to her own drum, but this has caused me problems: I've never had a boyfriend!... 08/31/2007 Perchance to Dream? Dear Margo: After 10 years of marriage, my husband suddenly began saying "Kathy" in his sleep. My name is not Kathy. When I confronted him, he told me he does not know who "Kathy" is, and can't be held accountable for what ... 08/25/2007 When Everything Is Relative Dear Margo: Help! My sister-in-law and her family are crazy. We recently moved to a different state where they live. I have no issues with my brother-in-law, but his wife and family are driving me nuts. I noticed certain things right away as ... 08/24/2007 Sometimes the Answer Is, There Is No Answer Dear Margo: I have an issue that simply will not go away. Last year, I met a man I thought was "the one." I lived in London, he in the States (where I came from). After frequent overseas visits by both of us, he convinced me to move to the U.... 08/18/2007 Lower Than a Snake's Tail in a Wagon Rut Dear Margo: I have been married to my husband for almost six years. We have a 5-year-old son together, and each of us has children from a previous marriage. Out of the seven years we have been together, he has been without a job three times. ... 08/17/2007 Does May-December Work? September Wants to Know Dear Margo: My husband and I were married for 15 years. He is a fine arts painter; I am a cabaret singer. I took day jobs with health insurance, borrowed money from my parents and deferred having a child until he became successful. The minute he did ... 08/11/2007 Do Not Quit Your Job! Dear Margo: I am about ready to walk away from my job and not look back. It's not the job itself or my co-workers. It's the public that I have to deal with eight hours a day, five days a week. I am a telephone receptionist at a major hospital ... 08/10/2007 A Tip About the Bartender Dear Margo: I am a 35-year-old single guy. I met a wonderful young, single mother. Her son is 4 and spends time with her and with his father. I have been with this woman for about a month and absolutely love spending time with her. Having to ... 08/04/2007 It Ain't Necessarily So Dear Margo: I'm hoping you can point me in the right direction. I am in my fourth month of a relationship with a man who is "the one." He is sexy, romantic, funny, generous, protective, unselfish and very compassionate. We have so ... 08/03/2007 What to Do When Your Neuroses Clash Dear Margo: I am engaged to be married to a man whom I love very much, but there is one problem. He is a hypochondriac. When he wakes up every day, something new hurts. (He's 28!) He either has some terrible "virus" or his stomach hurts. ... 07/28/2007 When the Husband Feels Like a Girlfriend Margo: I have been happily married for 20 years. However, my wife treats me as if I were her girlfriend. She has several friends she gets together with on a regular basis. When she's with them, she never talks about herself or her fears and anxieties. ... 07/27/2007 A Psychic Injury in Iraq Dear Margo: My daughter was sexually assaulted by a member of her command in Iraq two years ago. She received a "less than honorable" discharge due to reporting a rape. She'd never had disciplinary problems and was always looked on as a ... 07/21/2007 An Unfortunate Confluence of Events Dear Margo: A little over a year ago, I was sexually assaulted by my boss at work. I no longer work there because of it. I tried to hire an attorney to sue him but could find no takers. Let me back up a bit. We had a party to welcome me to the ... 07/20/2007 Dysfunction and Denial Dear Margo: I have no one else to share this with, so here I am. I have been married for nearly five years. I am so sexually unsatisfied with my husband I could scream, and I have made it known to him. He, let us say, can't last too long —... 07/14/2007 A Disappearing Act Amongst Friends Dear Margo: What do you do when you suspect your 14-year-old daughter's friend is a little thief? On her last visit to our home, small jewelry (not worth much) was missing, and prior to that, a $20 bill. Her parents are wonderful people, and I ... 07/13/2007 Turning a Life Around Dear Margo: I recently turned to the Christian religion out of a need to find solace, comfort and recovery from my past. It has helped me in more ways than I can count, more than any therapy or counseling, and I have come to take it quite seriously. ... 07/07/2007 Obsessing About Your "First" Dear Margo: I'm in love. The problem is it's with my ex-wife, even though it's been 10 years since we divorced. I got remarried and have a wonderful son, and she's remarried with a son, also. We e-mail to keep in touch, because we were high ... 07/06/2007 Sometimes Life Is Complicated Dear Margo: My situation has me hornswoggled. When I was in fifth grade, I met my "best friend for life." We were both freckled, red-haired non-conformists. We hit it off right away and remained very close for decades . . . through marriage, ... 06/30/2007 When the Girlfriend Is an Inquisitor Dear Margo: After dating my girlfriend "Jill" for almost a year, we decided to move in together. It felt like a normal progression toward a greater commitment. I now have serious reservations. Jill has no respect for my things, and ... 06/29/2007 Is He a Good Son, or Just a Blabbermouth? Dear Margo: I am a 33-year-old who is married and the mother of two beautiful daughters. I have been with my husband about five years and married for two. He's a great guy and a committed father and husband. The problem is that I feel he shares too ... 06/23/2007 He Sounds Like a Real Prize Hi: I am a divorced 41-year-old woman. I met a man about six weeks ago, and we have been seeing each other a couple times a week since. We have many common interests, our children are the same age, and we really have a lot of fun together. ... 06/22/2007 This Could Go in "Ripley's Believe It or Not" Dear Margo: My friends and I are beginning to approach that age where our friends are engaged and getting married, and we are happy for their happiness. However, one has us a little worried. She's the youngest of us (20), and she claims to have fallen ... 06/16/2007 Baseless Accusations Dear Margo: My father's wife of 46 years (my stepmother) has designated me the family thief. She has decided over the past two years that I must be the one who has been disappearing items from the family cottage. She has known me since I was 2 ... 06/15/2007 When eBay Is the Money Pit Dear Margo: I am writing because I have a problem (of course). I am engaged to a wonderful man who is thoughtful about many things, but does not think I have the right to know what he spends his money on. He has an addiction to eBay and collecting ... 06/09/2007 (Boiling) Blood Is Thicker Than Water Dear Margo: First of all, I love my husband with all my heart. I have a sister who has not been close with the family for about 20 years, and then it was only with our dad and me. Our mom and dad are divorced. Well, my sister and I got close ... 06/08/2007 When It's Hiding in Plain Sight Dear Margo: I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half. I once saw some videotapes in the top drawer of his dresser marked XXX while helping him put away laundry. After a year, of course, my curiosity got the best of me, ... 06/02/2007 When the Boss Is Lower Than a Snake's Belly Dear Margo: I have been working for a company for about two months, and I really liked my boss at first. My boss is one of my boyfriend's best friends, so I had no trouble trusting him to begin with. Recently, though, he has been putting me in ... 06/01/2007 An Oft-Asked Question Dear Margo: I'm sure a lot of people have this moral question: Is falling out of love with your spouse reason enough to divorce? I've been with my husband for 18 years, during which I've left him twice. We have no children and have now been ... 05/26/2007 The Old "What Does She See in Him?" Dear Margo: Our 20-year-old daughter has been involved for two years with a young man who smokes, drinks too much, is controlling, quit school and can't hold down a job. He has no car, so our daughter has to do all the driving back from college to see ... 05/25/2007 This Only Happens to Other People Dear Margo: Not many people believe me when I tell them why I'm going through a divorce. "Clara," my wife of five years, with whom I have three children, is leaving me for an inmate on death row whom she met through a pen pal website. ... 05/19/2007 Life Is Choices Dear Margo: My husband fell into a new job that pays very well, but he's never home anymore. I was OK with this for his first year and a half on the job, but we've decided to try for a baby soon. I've expressed my desire for him to find a job ... 05/18/2007 Not Exactly Polygamy, but Sort Of Dear Margo: I have gone through the worst event of my entire life. Just when I believed everything was fine, I find out my supposed husband is still married to his first wife. A mutual friend mentioned her, but my husband never did. I did all ... 05/12/2007 Not May-December, but Maybe July-November Dear Margo: I am a 37-year-old woman who was divorced two years ago. My husband, the man I had been with since I was 21, no longer wanted to be married to me. I look quite young for my age, and most people mistake me for being in my 20s. I keep ... 05/11/2007 He Could Always Toss a Coin . . . Dear Margo: I am a 27-year-old single woman who has a serious guy problem. I've been dating someone for about a year now, and for some reason he still doesn't know if he wants to be with me. It's so confusing because he says that he honestly ... 05/05/2007 This Guy Is So Unoriginal Dear Margo: My soon-to-be-ex-husband's behavior has me scratching my head, and I'm not sure how to respond. While we were married, he made it abundantly clear that he was not satisfied with me. Not only were there several affairs, but he was ... 05/04/2007 Two Down the Aisle Dear Margo: My best friend, who was my bridesmaid, is engaged and planning to be married in a few months. Hooray! She has asked me to be in her wedding, as well. However, I have reason to believe that the wedding date, which has yet to be set, ... 04/28/2007 Time To Escort Him Out the Door? Dear Margo: I never thought I would write to an advice column, but here I am. I found out not too long ago that my husband (who for the longest time was the boy-next-door type) had started having flings with escorts. He's been doing it since last ... 04/27/2007 When Auntie Has a Boy Toy Hi, Margo: My aunt "Sharon" is 40 years old and dating a guy who is 24. She has been seeing him for less than a year, and he has just asked her to marry him. She actually said yes. We all thought it was a joke until she showed us the ring. (... 04/21/2007 Decisions, Decisions Dear Margo: I've been married more than eight years and have two children in what has been an up-and-down relationship. After I completed anger management therapy, things settled down quite a bit, but over the course of the last year, things really ... 04/20/2007 Hanging on for Dear Life Dear Margo: I am 32 years old and in school earning a second bachelor's degree. I currently live with my parents, though I did spend 11 years on my own. I moved back with them four years ago, after leaving a relationship, thinking that when I was able ... 04/14/2007 When Pushing Back Is Indicated Dear Margo: I'm 22 years old and have been living with a great guy for the past seven months. We recently became engaged, and there's only one problem: his ex-wife and her girlfriend. He and his ex have three wonderful boys, and as a result we ... 04/13/2007 And Kissing Doesn't Make You Pregnant, Either Dear Margo: Does having lunch and/or drinks every week or two with a friend of the opposite sex mean you're having an affair? My friend and I are both married and have known each other for over a year now. Our professional lives cross quite ... 04/07/2007 New Wife, Old Kids, Rocky Relationships Dear Margo: I feel like I need to spill to someone, and you are always so level-headed and down to earth. I actually have two questions. I married a wonderful man who has two children from his previous marriage. Currently his kids are 18 and 19.... 04/06/2007 The Return of Mr. Wrong Dear Margo: You might need a stiff drink and a Xanax after this one. I was recently divorced, and we had no children, although I have children from a previous marriage. His parents have completely taken my youngest as their own grandchild, ... 03/31/2007 My Sister-In-Law, Little Mary Sunshine Dear Margo: What do you do when one of your family members is a real downer and you don't want her around? My sister-in-law and brother live out of state, and I only see them once a year or so. I love my brother dearly, but his wife is a real ... 03/30/2007 He's Texting for Sex? Dear Margo: I'm a 34-year-old woman currently going through a divorce, not finalized yet. The problem is I married 'til death do us part. He moved in with my neighbor and her daughter three weeks after I moved out. They now share a different ... 03/24/2007 When Tough Love Meets Self-Preservation Dear Margo: I am 36, happily married, with three wonderful children. All in all, my life could not be better. This, however, was not always the case. As a child, my sister and I had to deal with an alcoholic, manic/depressive, abusive mother. I ... 03/23/2007 Location, Location, Location Dear Margo: My husband of 15 years and I have encountered a situation and hope you can help. We moved our family about two hours away from our childhood homes this past year. Every time we visited, it was only for the day — until recently. <... 03/17/2007 Talk About "In Your Face" Dear Margo: With the subject of breast augmentation coming up so often in your column, I could use some input on a situation in our family. My husband has a brother with a live-in girlfriend. A few years ago, he confided in my husband that he ... 03/16/2007 So What About the Competition? Hi, Margo: I don't know if you've ever done this, but I was curious about your opinion of what another advice columnist wrote. The question came from a man whose fiancee was moving to his city. Since all his friends would become her friends, he ... 03/10/2007 When His Mother Is Like Elmer's Glue Dear Margo: I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. I am 23; he's 24. He's been a wonderful partner, and we have gone from living nearby to being in a long-distance relationship. (He got a job 350 miles away.) This has been the first ... 03/09/2007 When It's Not All Coming Together Dear Margo: I need help. I'm as gay as a maybasket, and it is very inconvenient. I live in a small town and have my own business. I've tried moving to "civilization" and working for corporations, but the financial situation was never ... 03/03/2007 When Kindness and Reality Collide Dear Margo: I am hoping your opinion can help settle an issue between my husband and me. "Mark" has a longtime friend who, although I've never met her, I don't feel should be around our family. Mark has told me many things about her that I ... 03/02/2007 Looking for Mr. Wrong in All the Wrong Places Dear Margo: I am an 18-year-old who finds herself attracted to middle-aged married men, gay men or those who are emotionally unavailable. It makes no sense to me because I have a good relationship with my father and am not looking for a "father ... 02/24/2007 A New Kind of Closet Dear Margo: I am frustrated with my relationship in so many ways. My partner of seven years has been looking at straight porn (we are a gay male couple) all this time, and I have just recently made him fess up. Finally he has admitted to looking at ... 02/23/2007 "Spineless" and "Craven" Are Understatements Dear Margo: I find myself in a situation I'm not handling well. My husband recently asked me to stay a few nights at my grandparents', stating he was stressed and needed time alone — but that everything between us was fine, and he still wanted ... 02/17/2007 How to "Educate" Strangers Dear Margo: I am a white woman married to a biracial man. Even though he is black/white, he looks mostly white, as do our children. The problem occurred when we went out to dinner with our 8-year-old twins after a program at their school. We ... 02/16/2007 Choosing Up Sides Is for the Playground Margo: I'm going to speak to you like I would a close friend. Hope you don't mind. Frankly, I have no idea how to address this issue. I have two wonderful friends whom I adore. They happen to be married to each other. They also happen to be ... 02/10/2007 Will There Ever Be a Little Gold Band? Dear Margo: I am 27 and have been dating a wonderful man for four years. He is older (by 16 years), but that has never been an issue. We've always had a great connection. I knew from early on that he was the man I wanted to spend my life with. ... 02/09/2007 Forgive Us, Father, For We Are Flirting Dear Margo: I am a happily married Catholic woman who goes to church every morning before going to the office. In the course of my daily routine I met this guy who works in the church, and he is married, too. I enjoy his company because we ... 02/03/2007 When Moms Run Wild Dear Margo: A while ago, I read your letter regarding the teenager whose parents partied too much. I have the same problem, but it's only my mother, since my father is out of the picture. My mother will turn 52 this August, yet she still goes ... 02/02/2007 A Permanent Pajama Party Dear Margo: My wife and I have been married for 18 years. We have an 18-year-old daughter together, and my wife has a 22-year-old daughter by someone else. The stepdaughter and I get along reasonably well. Last year she decided a black man was ... 01/27/2007 How Much of a Resume is Necessary? Dear Margo: I have never seen this issue in any of the advice columns, and I need advice. More than 20 years ago, I did sex work of a kind where I did not have intercourse with the clients. (It was S&M.) I only did it for a few months, and ... 01/26/2007 Until Death Do You Part Dear Margo: The love of my life recently passed away. Now I need to know how to handle a situation with his widow. (Yes, he was married.) While we were seeing each other, she had reasons to suspect he was cheating and did enough research to ... 01/20/2007 Gramps Got a New Gal! Dear Margo: My husband's elderly mother died fairly recently. Her second husband, even older than she, was terribly distraught. He arranged the funeral and made no mention of her many decades-long marriage to my father-in-law. He also refused to give ... 01/19/2007 When a Friend Needs to Intervene Dear Margo: My friend "Paul" repeatedly molested his niece when he was younger. It was never reported to the police, but he did pay for his sister's and his niece's therapy, and went for several years himself. Two years ago, Paul ... 01/13/2007 Too Early For Exclusivity Dear Margo: My girlfriend and I started dating during our senior year in high school, and now we're both freshmen in college. Recently, my girlfriend went to a party with friends, and afterward expressed that she felt left out because her friends were ... 01/12/2007 When a Teenager is Off the Rails Dear Margo: When my daughter was 14 she met a boy who, by his own admission, belonged to a gang and had committed several crimes. She became totally enamored of him and "fell in love." I believed she was too young to have a boyfriend and ... 12/30/2006 Peer Pressure 10; Sex Drive 0 Hi: I am a 13-year-old girl in eighth grade, and I have started identifying myself as asexual. I'm not interested in sex, dating or kissing. (The sad part is, I'm a hopeless romantic.) Part of it is because of my religion. I believe the only ... 12/29/2006 Change Partners and Dance Dear Margo: Recently I got engaged to a woman I've known for four years and had a rather tumultuous beginning with. She is the ex of a very good friend of mine and broke it off with him three years ago. When he found out we were seeing each ... 12/23/2006 Another Case of Accidental DNA Dear Margo: I have had so many different opinions on this problem, I have finally decided to ask for yours. After many years of trying to deal with my extremely dysfunctional and loveless family, I finally made the decision to "save myself" ... 12/22/2006 An Often-Asked Question Answered Dear Readers: I have received so many letters about one subject that I think I should speak to the point they raise. Readers have essentially made the argument that I am not consistent when it comes to issues of privacy; that I sometimes condone ... 12/16/2006 He'd Rather Do it Alone Hello, Margo: I am writing because, most of the time, my man would rather masturbate than have sex. He tells me I am very sexy, and we do have good sex, but he will tell me he is sick, or send me out to the store to get me out of the house, then does ... 12/15/2006 . . . And Tell Him to Take His Computer With Him Dear Margo: I am in a long-term relationship with a man I was truly in love with at one time. I was reading his e-mail and found several sexually explicit messages he and a co-worker were exchanging. They talked about getting together once she ... 12/09/2006 Perfidious "Friends" Dear Margo: I am in high school and have recently been having trouble with one of my best friends. We've been friends since freshman year and have always been able to share absolutely everything with each other. A few weeks ago, she had come to ... 12/08/2006 Sleeping Arrangements Dear Margo: I am a divorced 34-year-old woman now happily involved with a divorced 36-year-old man. We are in a serious relationship, talking of marriage and children. Although I am American, I have lived in England for the past six years, so ... 12/02/2006 When the Rut is Really a Canyon Dear Margo: I have been married for 10 years to a guy who has no limits. He routinely refers to certain parts of my body as his property. He constantly tells our 8-year-old son that housework is for women. I have a full-time job, and if I don't ... 12/01/2006 All in the Family Dear Margo: At my son's bar mitzvah, my sister-in-law was in charge of gifts and cards. I handed her a gift bag that had a gold chain and charm inside. She apparently thought it was a gift for her from my husband (her brother) and me, because ... 11/25/2006 Figuratively Speaking . . . Dear Margo: I'm a 46-year-old woman who's been married for two years to a man I adore. I think the feeling is mutual. My problem? I'm pretty sure that he is disappointed with my breasts. Not only am I 46, but also I breast-fed two kids 20 years ago, ... 11/24/2006 Should She Put the Brakes On This Romance? Dear Margo: I am a 25-year-old woman in a two-year relationship with a 30-year-old man, and we have discussed marriage. However, there is one setback that started out as a mere quirk but has grown into a huge obstacle: He refuses to get a driver's ... 11/18/2006 What Was Wrong With Daddy? Dear Margo: Four years ago, I divorced "Ken" when he admitted that he had molested a daughter from his previous marriage. His problems with clinical depression, porn addiction, chronic lying and so on did not seem religiously ... 11/17/2006 Dad is in His Birthday Suit, and Mom is in a Snit Hello: I have been married for 18 years. Around year 10, my husband started going to nudist beaches and clubs. The beaches were not too bad because he only did it when he was out of state, but now he goes to a club that's only an hour away. I ... 11/11/2006 Auntie, Dear, Guess What Your Daughter's Doing? Dear Margo: I confided to my cousin, with whom I'm very close, that I'd become intimate with my boyfriend of one year. My parents, who are very conservative, did not know. Quite frankly, I was not ready to tell them. I'm still going to college, ... 11/10/2006 When It's Time To Unload the Guy and His Baggage Dear Margo: My husband and I have been together for 17 years, married for 12. He's more than a decade older than I am, and he brought significant baggage into the relationship. When we met, I was young, newly divorced, ridiculously naive, and ... 11/04/2006 Complicated Family Dynamics Dear Margo: Here's one for you. My parents divorced 13 years ago (my mother's choice), and my dad immediately got into another relationship with a woman who developed early Alzheimer's. After trying to take care of her for some years, he ended ... 11/03/2006 Off With the Old, On With the New Dear Margo: My parents divorced when I was a teenager, and after things were finalized, I chose to live with my father. Although he and I were incredibly close after the divorce, lately things have gone downhill. About three years ago, he began ... 10/28/2006 Mom Purloins the Diary Dear Margo: I found out last week that our 17-year-old high school junior is having sex with her boyfriend! First of all, I found out the wrong way: I snooped in her room and read her diary. Second, she would never admit to it, so my husband ... 10/27/2006 The Bad Seed Dear Margo: I never thought I would write to an advice columnist, but here goes. I've been dating someone for about a year now, and we talk of marriage occasionally. He's ready for commitment and very gung-ho about us getting married, which is ... 10/21/2006 Oh, and, Uh, By the Way . . . Dear Margo: I am soon to be 27 years old, and my only serious relationship ended a few years ago. In hopes of avoiding the standard meat market of dating, I'm considering registration with eHarmony.com. I've also had my share of casual ... 10/20/2006 It is in the Bible, But Not in the Cards Dear Margo: I have been dating a wonderful man for four months now. He is very kind and sweet in every way. We are much in love and happy together. There is only one problem: We are different religions. I am a Christian, he is agnostic. I have ... 10/14/2006 Is Redemption Possible? Hi, Margo: My problem is my live-in fiance of two years had a five-month affair with a client. I threw him out, and he ended it. I have talked to the woman he was seeing and know that he did walk out on her (plus all the seedy details). He went ... 10/13/2006 One-Way Streets and Closets Dear Margo: I'm 17 and crazy in love with one of my best friends, but I know nothing will ever come of it because we are both girls and she is straight. She's always with her boyfriend, and she asks me about boys and tells me about her sexual ... 10/07/2006 The $40 Mistake Hi, Margo: My niece had always loved dolls as a little girl. I adore my niece, and a few years ago, when she was 8 or 9, I gave her two handmade dolls for her birthday. I put a lot of time, energy, money and love into those dolls. A few weeks ... 10/06/2006 It is Definitely Not You, Buddy Dear Margo: I have been with my fiancee for two years, and we have finally gotten to the point where we know each other well enough not to think the relationship is going to end if we argue or disagree. Basically, we are comfortable with each other ... 09/30/2006 Same Time Next Year Dear Margo: I never thought I'd be writing, but here goes. I was married to "Carla" for 10 years but have been divorced for four. We share custody of our four wonderful kids, and we get along pretty well compared to other divorced couples we ... 09/29/2006 Waaaay Beyond Messy Dear Margo: I am so far into this mess, I can't see a way out. I am a successful businesswoman with a teenage son — and dirty little secrets. Our house and backyard are so messy that we have not had company over in years. I am not talking ... 09/23/2006 An Odd Kind of Jealousy Dear Margo: My dilemma is really simple. I happen to love a certain 19th-century authoress and have read every biography I can find about her. Ever since I was 14 years old and read her classic novel "Pride and Prejudice," I have been ... 09/22/2006 He Wrote What in the Newspaper?! Dear Margo: About a year ago, my husband started writing and publishing stories in a local newspaper. He never told me or showed me the stories. I heard about them from friends and then read them. The stories are about sexual behavior and fantasies ... 09/16/2006 When Suspicions Rule Dear Margo: I am trying to find out if my marriage is something I can stay in and still remain sane. My husband is six years younger than I am. He is by many accounts "perfect" in other people's eyes. He is a strong Christian, loving, ... 09/15/2006 You Say Tomato, He Says Tomahto Dear Margo: How can two people be in the same relationship and have such different perceptions of it? My husband loves our marriage, believes that we are on a wonderful journey together and doesn't want a divorce. I, on the other hand, think the ... 09/09/2006 When the BF is a Switch-Hitter Dear Margo: I've been living with a guy for nine months, and it's fair to say I am the nosy type. Past relationships have made me not trust anyone. My guy and I are very serious and discussing marriage. But every time he's gone, I snoop, and if ... 09/08/2006 When It's Never Enough Dear Margo: Every few months, my mother finds herself in some kind of "crisis." Because she is unmarried, she looks to her children for support. We all love our mother and want to help her as much as we can, but we have our own families now, ... 09/02/2006 When You Feel Like a Heifer at an Auction Dear Margo: I am 36 and attending college for the first time. It has been a wonderful experience, and because of my high GPA, I received many scholarships. One scholarship comes with an invitation to a fund-raising dinner with all the local ... 09/01/2006 Me Tarzan, You Jane Dear Margo: I have a difficult problem I need an outsider's help with, as I wouldn't want friends or family to know. My husband is a very quiet man, and when I say quiet, I mean that he can go for days without having a conversation. It doesn't ... 08/26/2006 You Are Cordially Invited to Stay at Home Dear Margo: I'm getting married in about six months and am working out the details. My question is, how do I not invite a relative? It's an uncle who's offended me, many of my relatives, my parents, my siblings, my grandparents and other aunts ... 08/25/2006 When a Hug Brings an Ugh Dear Margo: I have a problem that I hope you may be able to help me with. I don't want to be someone who perpetuates any stereotypes or creates new ones, but the fact remains that most (not all) Asians are uncomfortable with the physical contact ... 08/19/2006 When the Sister's Beau is Boring Dear Margo: My sister, who's five years younger than I, just got engaged. Normally, I would be very happy for her, except I really don't like her fiance. He is nice enough, but seems incredibly naive, simple and uninteresting. The term "... 08/18/2006 Pastor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Dear Margo: I'm having problems with my father. He's a pastor and leader of the community, and for as long as I can remember, he has been very morally upright. However, lately he's been doing things that are very unlike him: listening to music ... 08/12/2006 Little Pitchers, and All That Dear Margo: My wife has always had what I refer to as a "trucker's mouth." Her whole family does. They can have conversations averaging at least one swear word per sentence. I'm no puritan and can swear with the best of them, but when I do, ... 08/11/2006 Do You Tell a Friend to Shrink? Dear Margo: I, like many others who seem to write to you, never thought I'd be asking you for advice. Now I am curious about something I'm not sure how to approach. A friend of mine has spent the past four years of her college career in and out ... 08/05/2006 Good Luck in Disguise Dear Margo: I have been in a three-year relationship and am struggling to let it go. Everything inside of me tells me he is the one I have waited for all of my life. I am 30 and have never had a healthy relationship, so maybe I did it again. He'... 08/04/2006 Wonderful, Caring, and Timorous Man Dear Margo: I am at a loss. After 13 years of marriage, I divorced a controlling, alcoholic husband and, two years later, married a wonderful, caring man who allows me to be a person in my own right and to make my own decisions. Sounds great, doesn't ... 07/29/2006 Not So Keen to Face Her Father Dear Margo: I have a problem I think some of your readers may have had. I have been dating a girl for about a year and a half. Everything is pretty good in our relationship, and generally we get along well. The problem I have is that we were out one ... 07/28/2006 An Unusual "Display" of Spousal Affection Dear Margo: I recently went on a trip with several friends for a "guys only" weekend. Since we were staying overnight, I shared a room with one of these friends, "Bob." He and I and our wives are very close friends, having ... 07/22/2006 Home Alone Dear Margo: I am a teenager and have a problem with my parents. My mom is 44, and my dad is 50. Recently, they've started going out and basically partying all the time. My mom says she has raised kids for 30 years and she is done doing it. (... 07/21/2006 Surprise! Dear Margo: I've dated my fiance for the last year and a half. She is 27, and I am 35. When I asked her to marry me, we were in her favorite restaurant. She didn't say yes right away because she said there was a secret she had to tell me to make sure ... 07/15/2006 Tall Tales and Lap Dances Dear Margo: My husband, "Sean," and I have been married for eight and a half years and known each other for nine. Almost two years ago, my husband was on a business trip a few states away from where we live. He and a few friends went to a ... 07/14/2006 Loser Guys and the Women Who Love Them Dear Margo: Our 20-year-old daughter has been involved for two years with a young man who smokes, drinks too much, is controlling, quit school and can't hold down a job. He has no car, so our daughter has to do all the driving back from college ... 07/07/2006 Oh, What Lovely Feet You Have, My Dear Dear Margo: I was actually surprised when my foot doctor offered me a job as his receptionist on my second office visit. I started working for this almost 70-year-old doctor about two months ago on a part-time basis. Things were working out ... 07/01/2006 It Depends On the Definition of "Need" Dear Margo: I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent. In the past, I just ... 06/30/2006 A Family Secret . . . Kind Of Dear Margo: I'll get straight to it. I've been blessed with a wonderfully supportive family. We are famously even-tempered. Successes are celebrated; unpleasant things aren't discussed. Your mistakes are yours to deal with, unless you ask for help.... 06/24/2006 Certainly Not To Her Credit Dear Margo: I am 28 years old, and have never had a good relationship with my mother. We just started talking again about two years ago and have gotten pretty close. Well, she let me use a few of her credit cards to buy furniture and some ... 06/23/2006 A Thousand Times No . . . Dear Margo: I've been married to my husband for eight years, and we have a lot of laughs, good sex and a happy life overall. The only thing he would like to add to our marriage is an occasional sexual threesome. I've replied that we can use ... 06/17/2006 The 11-Year Itch Dear Margo: I am a happily married woman with a weird problem: For the first time in the 11 years that I've been with my husband, I find myself attracted to another man. Not just in a physical sense, but in all the ways you find someone attractive.... 06/16/2006 Oatmeal Cookies For Brains Dear Margo: My problem is probably not the biggest one in your in-box, but I am hoping you can help. My husband and I are in our mid-20s and expecting our fifth child in a few months. Both our age and the size of our family elicit constant comments. 06/10/2006 An Unlikely Competitor Dear Margo: I am engaged to a man who has an unusually close relationship with his sister. They have a long history of living together as adults and behaving like significant others. Past partners felt like outsiders in their world. Well into ... 06/09/2006 A Do-It-Yourself Project Best Left Alone Dear Margo: Here's a weird one for you. I have been keeping company with a man for nearly 12 years. That's not the weird part. OK, so maybe it is, but it's not the problem. We do not live together, but have been exclusive for a long time. He ... 06/03/2006 Man Overboard? Dear Margo: When I married my husband 11 years ago, I was aware of his penchant for looking at pornographic movies and magazines. He likes to watch them with me and without me. Having grown up in an all-female family, I was never exposed to ... 06/02/2006 I Do, But I Won't Dear Margo: My wife and I were married last June. We have yet to consummate the marriage. She is very reluctant to have physical contact of any kind with me. This reluctance does not extend to her three dogs, to whom she is very attentive. I am ... 05/27/2006 Mind Your Own Business, Lady Dear Margo: I need some insight. I have no desire to superimpose my personal decisions on anyone's childbearing choices, but this situation is making me crazy. None of these people are my relatives, thank heavens, but they are in the community ... 05/26/2006 Change Partners and Dance? Dear Margo: I recently moved in with a wonderful friend I have known for several years. He's everything I have ever wanted in a mate, but he was in a very serious long-term relationship. However, two months ago, he and his girlfriend of 13 years split ... 05/20/2006 The 10-Year-Old is in Charge Dear Margo: We have a dear friend who was divorced about four years ago. She has two kids, 10 and 14, and is a loving, caring parent. The problem? She has had the children sleep with her nightly since her divorce. The boy finally decided last ... 05/19/2006 He's, Uh, Changed His Mind Dear Margo: I have been dating a sweet, loving man for over eight months now. We have been living together and having sex for six of those months, and it has been great. Recently, however, he announced that we will no longer be having ... 05/13/2006 Dear Margo, May 13 Dear Margo: My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years and were (I thought) completely devoted to each other. About two months ago, we got into a serious argument, and it simmered for a few weeks. We never broke up, but we were not ... 05/12/2006 Dear Margo, May 12 Dear Margo: I've been dating my boyfriend for three years, but we were friends for 10 years before that. We were crazy in love at the beginning and jumped into buying a house together. He said we would be engaged and get married very soon. Well,... 05/06/2006 Dear Margo, May 6 Dear Margo: After almost 50 years of marriage and two years of widowhood, a wonderful man has asked me to be his wife. (Who knew it could happen at my age?) It will be a few months before the actual ceremony, but many obstacles are presenting ... 05/05/2006 Dear Margo, May 5 Dear Margo: I have a lovely 17-year-old daughter who identifies herself as bisexual and is currently in a relationship with a very nice young lady (same age) whom we have known for several years. I feel blessed that my daughter feels ... 04/29/2006 Dear Margo, April 29 Dear Margo: Am I brain-dead, or is this really a marriage? I married the guy across the street who was 47 and never married before. (I was previously married for 17 years.) Anyway, this man waited until my kids were gone to bleep or get off the ... 04/28/2006 Dear Margo, April 28 Dear Margo: I've been married to a wonderful man for 13 years. I feel that I "settled" for this man due to the fact that my true love and I went our separate ways when we were young because we were both stubborn. My first love and I ... 04/22/2006 Dear Margo, April 22 Dear Margo: I am in my late 50s. At high school reunions and social occasions — with other women my age — my husband and other men always comment that some women look so much younger than their age. When complimented on their looks, ... 04/21/2006 Dear Margo, April 21 Dear Margo: I am soon to be a mother-in-law. I love my son, but I think I have gotten off to a bad start with my future daughter-in-law. After a weekend visit from them, I spoke to my son about a few things I had noticed. My son's fiancee ... 04/15/2006 Dear Margo, April 15 Dear Margo: My two sons are now 16 and 15, but it's the 16-year-old I'm worried about. He often comes home completely drunk. He is sullen and angry, spending much of his time languishing around the house, hung over and miserable. My father was ... 04/14/2006 Dear Margo, April 14 Dear Margo: I'm in a predicament. My 4-year-old son and I live with a man who is wonderful to us. Only one thing strikes me as odd: his past relationships. He's friendly with one girl (my age) and has an unusual relationship with his stepmother.... 04/08/2006 Dear Margo, April 8 Dear Margo: I was recently married to the man of my dreams, "James." Everything in our marriage is fantastic except for one thing: his mother. My husband's relationship with her has never been good, and it has only gotten worse since ... 04/07/2006 Dear Margo, April 7 Dear Margo: I'll try to keep this brief. I'm a 45-year-old guy who met, fell in love with and married my beautiful wife, who is 28. We met in January, married in September. The relationship was very strong for the first year, and then started ... 04/01/2006 Dear Margo, April 1 Dear Margo: Here's some background about my religious history. I was raised Christian, with no real teaching, but we celebrated Christmas and Easter. When I was 16, my parents started going to church. At 18, I stopped going. My mother thinks ... 03/31/2006 Dear Margo, March 31 Dear Margo: In college, I was friends with a girl who was more wild and crazy than the rest of us. After college, she moved out of state and we lost touch. Four years later, I found out she was in prison for a nonviolent crime. I liked this ... 03/25/2006 Dear Margo, March 25 Dear Margo: How does one go about telling one's mother that she needs therapy? I am a married woman whose twice-divorced mother lives approximately three hours away. Because of the distance, I only see her once or twice a month. However, we ... 03/24/2006 Dear Margo, March 24 Dear Margo: I've been reading your column for years and have noticed that infidelity is a recurring subject. I have a new question regarding this. It is often said that when people cheat, it means they don't love their partner. Does this necessarily ... 03/18/2006 Dear Margo, March 18 Margo: I have a husband who has a misconception of what lying is, and it's causing a lot of grief in our family. He tells "stories" when he comes home from work. It can be a simple story about a coworker or something he did during the ... 03/17/2006 Dear Margo, March 17 Dear Margo: I'm a longtime reader but never thought I'd be writing, that is until my married female boss/alleged friend started some sort of campaign with my boyfriend (also a coworker). The bf and I had a big, potentially relationship-ending ... 03/11/2006 Dear Margo, March 11 Dear Margo: I am a student in middle school. A boy (let's call him Ken) on my bus is, well, a nice way to say it is obnoxious. To explain: He's a bit "chubby." He will say or do anything to get attention, but mostly it's spouting ... 03/10/2006 Dear Margo, March 10 Margo: This is a strange question, but I need an unbiased answer. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. (We are 21.) We're both Christians and had discussed waiting until we were married to sleep together. As it turned out, that didn't ... 03/04/2006 Dear Margo, March 4 Dear Margo: I think everybody who never thinks they'd write to you ends up saying they never thought they'd write to you, so I won't say that, but . . . My parents, who are now grandparents, are loving, kind and great to the kids, but they are ... 03/03/2006 Dear Margo, March 3 Dear Margo: My husband and I are dealing with an embarrassing and extremely annoying problem with our neighbors. We live in a townhouse complex, so I accept that there is bound to be some neighbor noise that we have to deal with. However, our ... 02/25/2006 Dear Margo, February 25 Dear Margo: I'm in my mid-20s and have been dating my boyfriend for two years, living together for one. When we first moved in together, my boyfriend was actively looking at engagement rings, and it seemed a proposal was on the way. Somewhere ... 02/24/2006 Dear Margo, February 24 Dear Margo: I am 18 years old and a college student living at my school, a prestigious college in a large city near my hometown. I am seeing (and sleeping with) a 25-year-old guy who treats me very well. The problem is, my family hates him. He'... 02/18/2006 Dear Margo, February 18 Dear Margo: My husband and I have had the best and the worst over 25 years of marriage, during which we've seen at least three different therapists. He had two consecutive adulterous affairs about five years ago for which we received counseling. <... 02/17/2006 Dear Margo, February 17 Dear Margo: A couple of years ago, I accidentally discovered that my partner was posting personal ads in the casual encounters category on craigslist.org. I reacted by cracking the passwords to my partner's e-mail addresses and reading all his ... 02/11/2006 Dear Margo, February 11 Dear Margo: My boyfriend and I are in our early 30s. He is divorced, with a beautiful, older-than-she-looks, 9-year-old daughter. He and I are enjoying an active and satisfying budding relationship of a year. A few months into "us," ... 02/10/2006 Dear Margo, February 10 To Prudie readers: If you have been with me for a while, you know a few things about me. One is that I have changed my last name a few times. Now the time has come for me to change my first name . . . my professional first name, that is. Because ... 02/04/2006 Dear Prudence, February 4 Dear Prudence: During the holidays, my young niece secretly eloped with an older man who is a convicted felon. None of the family, including her parents, was aware of it until after the new year. It suddenly occurred to the bride that she ... 02/03/2006 Dear Prudence, February 3 Dear Prudie: I'm an admitted homophobe. Often at my university, issues such as gay rights are brought up in discussion, and, needless to say, my point of view is not shared by many others. I do not volunteer my opinion, but when I am asked, I ... 01/28/2006 Dear Prudence, January 28 Dear Prudie: I finally did it. While sitting at my favorite coffee shop, I endured an excruciating 25 minutes until I could bear it no more. I loudly told the mother of a 2-year-old to shut her child up. I have no regrets but am interested in your ... 01/27/2006 Dear Prudence, January 27 Dear Prudence: My daughter had a baby recently. The father (they are not married, and he lives with his parents) was at the hospital and visits the baby often. The problem is, he has not yet told his parents that there is a baby. The ... 01/21/2006 Dear Prudence, January 21 Dear Prudence: Some time ago, I met what I thought was a wonderful man . . . attentive, courteous, well-established, self-sufficient and extremely attractive. He is from the same country I am from, and we have carried on our courtship in our ... 01/20/2006 Dear Prudence, January 20 Dear Prudence: I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for two years. I have good expectations as to the direction our relationship will go. My problem is not with him, but his 6-year-old niece. I believe the little girl has a crush on him. My ... 01/14/2006 Dear Prudence, January 14 Dear Prudence: My brother is engaged to a delightful, bright, attractive woman who does not wear a bra. She has very small breasts, so it's not as if she is falling out of her shirts, but she is always "nippling" (as they say). I don'... 01/13/2006 Dear Prudence, January 13 Hi, Prudie: A dear friend and co-worker, "Randi," is planning her wedding. While talking a few days ago, she said she'd decided who she wanted in the wedding party. She went on to tell me that I am such a good friend, so organized, detail ... 01/07/2006 Dear Prudence, January 7 Dear Prudie: I'm at my wits' end. For starters, my mother-in-law isn't the greatest mother to my husband, unless there is something going wrong in our relationship. She sticks her nose in where it does not belong and fills his head with the most ... 01/06/2006 Dear Prudence, January 6 Dear Prudence: I am greatly concerned about my grandmother's choice in men. I never met my grandfather because he was a huge jerk (to put it mildly). My grandmother then married another man when I was 9 years old. He ruined her financially, but caused ... |
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