Q: I took a new job in my area, but with an unacceptably low salary. I saw it as an opportunity to learn a little more in my field, even though I thought the company didn't pay people what they were worth. I justified it, thinking I would quickly get a raise once the boss saw how good I was.

I interviewed with the woman who would be my boss, so I closely observed her behavior to make sure I liked her. She was a mix of friendly and cold, which I thought was because she wanted to appear professional since we were around the same age. I've had bosses before who went out of their way to "act" like bosses so employees wouldn't try to get close or think they were friends. I get along with nearly everyone I meet, both socially and in my past jobs, so I wasn't too worried. Boy, was I wrong!

She turns colder each day, and I think she is jealous of me. She obviously makes more money than I do, and I don't think I'm arrogant in any way. I immediately knew how to do the work, so I didn't need to ask questions, which could be a plus or a minus. Some bosses don't like subordinates to be perfectly capable on their own. I could actually do her job, and maybe she knows that and regrets hiring me. Should I talk to her privately to see if there's a problem, or should I follow the adage of "let sleeping dogs lie"? It's progressively getting more uncomfortable each day.

A: Analyze all the possible outcomes before deciding to talk to her. She may have hired you thinking you were at a lower level of knowledge and experience than her. As you have shown your capability, she may be feeling less secure in her position, knowing you could replace her, potentially for a lower salary.

First, decide your goals, such as whether you want to build a career with the company or learn as much as you can and move on. You and your boss are both still in the getting-to-know-you stage, so take care in how you relate and talk to her. Turn on your emotional sensors and stay away from any conversation or actions that might cause her mistrust. Assume she recognizes you're a quick study, and your ease of mastery in the job makes her feel insecure. She might already recognize you could take over if she were absent and that her boss might also see this.

If you don't want to be fired before you've had a chance to prove your competence to all, you will need to show your boss you can be relied on and trusted. This means being respectful and reserved, yet friendly, letting her know you enjoy the job and working for her. You must do what you can to put her at ease with you. Nothing good can come from a threatened person, whether boss or subordinate. And nothing can put off a boss as much as an employee that comes in aggressively full of ideas for changes before getting to know the company's history and financial results caused by how the department has been run.

Fostering a pleasant work relationship with your boss will take more than independently doing a perfect job, which might show that you don't need her. In fact, acting perfectly secure may have intensified her insecurity, even though that wasn't your intention. Put time and effort into showing interest in your job, asking questions, and listening to her even if you think you know the answers, so your boss will feel appreciated and worthwhile. It's up to you to form a bond of trust with your boss. Then see where it takes you.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @TheLindseyNovak. To find out more about Lindsey Novak, visit the Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.

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