Q: I have worked as part of team for six years, and I am a solid team player. I help anyone who needs help. I take on additional work when asked, have given up personal time to do so, and have performed with total accuracy. Despite this, two others, who are very self-promoting, got promoted over me. I have no desire for control, so I have never pushed in a management direction. When I heard that one of my team members had been promoted to head the group, I was shocked. I genuinely like this person, but promoting a person with much less experience than all the others on the team is crazy. She happens to be a great brownnoser, so that's why she got it. Is self-promotion necessary? What about just doing an exceptional job all the time without all the social BS?

A: First, not all socializing is a waste of time. You may not be a natural social butterfly (going overboard is not good, either), but personality is an important consideration where promotions are concerned. You may not like or see the value in socializing, but historically, martyrs have only been promoted spiritually.

Assisting co-workers when needed help is admirable and should be valued by management, but it is only part of someone's performance. It isn't favorable if management sees you as one who offers to take on all the grunt work that others would rather not do. That's where self-promotion comes into play. Help others see you as a leader and an idea person, not just a gofer (go-for).

Gossiping or interrupting people at work with personal chatter doesn't qualify as a positive form of communication. Positive socializing means developing individual connections with each team member. That's what networking is about — staying on top in your field by sharing related news with both co-workers and managers. It also means getting to know people as individuals with outside interests. Then you can share articles that might benefit each person alone. You say those who were promoted are social, and you think socializing at work is brownnosing, but you don't know what those two talked about with management.

Change your attitude on socializing. It may take some practice, but once your new attitude comes through to others (as attitude always does), you might be thought of as "promotable" without obvious self-promotion.

TRUE WISDOM IS AGELESS

Q: I asked a co-worker who's 20 years younger than I to look at my resume. She insisted on certain changes that I don't think are right for me. It's not that I don't respect her, but I think she doesn't understand how to sell my depth of experience. How valuable is a younger person's opinion?

A: Everyone's abilities and intuition is unique, regardless of age. There are 25-year-olds who are far wiser than 40- or 50-year-olds; age should not be the qualifying factor of intelligence, wisdom or knowledge. You must have had a good reason for asking for this person's thoughts about your resume. If you can use some of her input, do so. If you don't think it will help you, thank her for her time and do what you think is best. The wisest advice I have ever heard is from my mother, and she lived it regardless of her age: "Be open, always listen to what everyone tells you, think about it, then do what you want to do." New thoughts and new information are always to your benefit. Ultimately, though, your actions are up to you. Be grateful for all information, but don't think there is only one "right" way to do things.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @I_truly_care. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.