Successful Daughter Put Off by Stingy Mom Dear Annie: My husband and I are successful professionals with no children. Our mothers are both well off and have been generous to our siblings, who, for various reasons, have needed a lot of help. My husband and I tender free professional and some …Read more. Alcoholic Chef Can't Stir Up a Job Dear Annie: My youngest son is 34 years old and lives with my wife and me. He is an alcoholic and is unemployed, with no interest in getting a job. He helps at home by doing the cooking. He is a great cook by trade. He was laid off as head cook at a …Read more. Toxic Home or Sullen Teens? Dear Annie: I am very concerned about my brother's daughters, ages 18 and 20. My brother and his wife divorced when the girls were young. He and his ex do not get along and communicate poorly. She often berates him, and he remains silent. Their …Read more. Hands Off the Snappy (or Strappy) Dressers Dear Annie: I am a male, over 60, gray, balding and noticeably overweight. Because of back problems, I choose to wear suspenders instead of a belt. So, why is it that women of all ages think it's OK to snap my suspenders, or at least express a …Read more.more articles
Right and Smart To Keep Medical Records Away From This One
Dear Annie: My aunt works at the doctor's office where I am a patient. I am very private about my personal affairs, especially my health records. When I first saw this physician, I requested that my records be kept in a separate area so they could not be accessed by my aunt and would remain confidential. The receptionist assured me that would be done, saying many patients make similar requests.
Somehow this got back to my aunt, and she is creating a huge family fuss over this, telling everyone she was called in by her boss and almost got fired over it. She also said I posted derogatory information concerning this on Facebook, which is a complete lie. I am beside myself. I never said anything about her looking at my records. I only asked that they be kept separate.
How do I handle this? She is making something innocent into something ugly. Please help. — B.K.
Dear B.K.: It's a good thing your aunt doesn't have access to your records. It sounds as if she would put them all over the Internet out of spite. You have done nothing wrong and should say so. Tell your family members that you posted nothing on Facebook, nor did you make any comment to the doctor or his staff. (Although we wonder how your aunt heard about it.) Hold your head up and let her rant. As difficult as it may be, the storm will pass eventually. Your relationship with your aunt, however, may not recover. Sorry.
Dear Annie: My ex-wife and I put our 24-year-old son through college. He recently was accepted to a foreign medical school that will cost $50,000 per year for the next three years. My ex decided to remortgage her house in order to finance a year or two of this expense. I'm sure she will feel that any additional expense he incurs should fall upon me.
We shared his educational expenses up to this point, but as a retiree on a fixed income, I am not in a position to match her largesse.
I am thankful that my ex is able to assist our son, but it pains me to be unable to contribute equally. How can I best cope with this feeling of inadequacy? — Worried in Altadena
Dear Worried: Please don't feel inadequate because you aren't financing your child's post-graduate degree. That is his responsibility. We understand that your ex wants to make this exorbitant expense easier to bear, but no parent is under an obligation to finance their adult child's continuing education and the accompanying expenses. Remind yourself that you are teaching your son to be self-sufficient — something much more valuable to his future than borrowing from his parents.
Dear Annie: "Parents at Wits' End" said they are trying to deal with their 31-year-old bipolar son, who refuses to take his medication because it makes him feel "slow." You recommended NAMI's Family-to-Family Program.
Please suggest to these parents that they also contact Al-Anon Family Groups in their local area. This wonderful organization provides comfort and understanding to the families of alcoholics and those suffering from other addictions. Al-Anon focuses on oneself and not on the alcoholic. Meetings are held almost daily across the country and around the world. They can get more information through al-anon.alateen.org. — Nelson
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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