Go Energize Yourself

By Robert Goldman

October 8, 2020 5 min read

Be honest: You need more energy.

Now, don't get on your high horse — which, given your current energy level, you probably couldn't reach anyway.

The energy I'm talking about is that driving force that bubbles up inside you when there is work to do and then powers you to get 'er done. That's the energy Scott Young is talking about in "The Nine Habits to Increase Your Energy," an energic post I found on the website Get Pocket.

If the idea of adding nine new things you have to do to the 300 other things you already have to do drains what little energy you have to do what you have to do, I've curated my top five. Hopefully, you'll have the energy to read them.

No. 1: "Go To Sleep Early."

How much sleep do you need?

"Seven to eight hours are pretty much mandatory," Young says, "if you're going to stay cognitively sharp in the long-run."

This is overly simplistic. Everyone knows that an hour's sleep between lunch and dinner is worth two hours of sleep between dinner and breakfast. An hour's sleep between breakfast and lunch is worth four hours of nighttime sleep — and it's a lot more fun, especially if you get into your jam-jams, grab "Eddie the Teddy" and conk out on the couch. (You get extra energy points if you sleep through "Ellen," but you might miss out on your chance to win a Toyota or a $25 coupon for The Ellen Shop.)

No. 2: "Do Your Hard Work in the Morning."

Are you a lark or an owl? Do you sing in the morning, or do you not give a hoot until well after midnight? Doesn't matter. If you want maximum energy "make the first four hours of your morning a quiet, deep work zone."

And what is "deep work"? It's work that you can't sluff off on someone else, so you'll have to do it yourself. So unfair!

Young believes that doing something at the start of the workday makes you feel better about the work you don't do for the rest of the day. This could be true. You turned on your computer. Any boss who expects you to actually use it is nothing but a meanie.

No. 3: "Sell Yourself on Your Goals."

Always trying to sell your boss on your worth to the company? Don't bother. Not even your boss buys that brand of hokum. But there is someone dumb enough to buy into the necessity of having you on the team. That would be you.

"Set aside ten minutes every day to think about what today's actions are helping you build towards," Young advises. Don't have 10 minutes? I can help. At your current energy level, you are building toward an extremely productive and rewarding nervous breakdown. And you're really making progress!

Feel better? I thought so.

No. 4: "Read Better Books."

The best books "subtly change your entire thinking patterns." This is true, but let's face it: Books often have lots of annoying pages, and that's a responsibility you don't need right now. Instead of books, read catalogs. They're free. They come in the mail. My personal favorite is the Archie McPhee catalog, which is chock-full of items that let you remember what real office life used to be like.

Working from home, it's impossible to recreate the general hilarity that ensued when you put a Whoopie Cushion on your manager's chair, but you can still enjoy the hilarious "office possum," a "stuffed 15-inch latex possum perfect for hanging on monitors or waste paper baskets" ($22.50). Or the "Grab & Go Emergency Underpants Dispenser" ($7.50). It comes in a bright red box and includes five pop-up polyester underpants.

If you can't find Clorox wipes, this could be the next best thing.

No. 5: "Get Better Friends."

Avoid friends who "consistently create one-sided emotional exchanges" and "leave you feeling drained." Good advice. Immediately rid yourself of any friend who is looking for sympathy or encouragement. The friends you want are people who only care about you and are willing to provide the emotional support you need. The occasional cashier's check wouldn't hurt, either.

If these requirements cancel out your current consort of buds and chums, don't worry. Who says friends have to be human beings? Your water bottle is a good friend. So is your coffee maker. So is your bathtub. These are friends you can count on, friends who are always there to provide the love you crave.

But don't count on your toaster. It hates your guts.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at [email protected] To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: StockSnap at Pixabay

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