Should you quit your job?

It's a question that's providing job security for writers of employment advice, myself included. Studying up on the topic, I found articles about the seven signs you should quit, the eight signs you should quit, the 15 signs you should quit and the 22 signs you should quit.

Of course, you really only need one sign to quit: you start reading articles on signs to quit.

Though it only had 12 signs, the article that caught my attention is by Alison Doyle on the job site The Balance Careers.

Forgetting all the specific reasons you might hate your job, Doyle believes "you should always follow your gut." What to do if you hate your gut is another question. For now, let's just say that you and your gut are getting along, and we can turn our attention to the signs that suggest it's time to take this job and shove it.

"You Dread Going to Work" is a classic sign. This does not refer to the perfectly normal, "If I have to work on this job one more minute, I'm going puke" feeling that we all experience four or five times a day. This sign refers to people who "truly, deeply dread those eight or so hours at the office."

Of course, since COVID-19 began, many of us don't spend any hours at the office, which means you would have to truly, deeply dread not spending eight hours curled up in your massage chair, wrapped in your down comforter, clutching Mr. Bunny and pretending to be interested in an eight-or-so-hour Zoom conference.

If this is the case, you should definitely quit your job and take Mr. Bunny with you. He's suffered enough.

If "You're Overqualified" is flashing in what's left of your brain, you should "stay alert for positions that fit your skills." You'll have to line up behind me when mattress tester positions become available, but how about a career as a pet psychologist? The experience you've gained interpreting the teeny-tiny rat brains of your superiors in your personal version of "All Managers Great & Small," should serve you in good stead when charging $100 an hour to analyze the inner conflicts of Susie's gerbil or Johnny's guinea pig.

"You're being Recruited by Other Companies" may seem like an excellent sign, but do think twice before jumping ship. Think first about why in the world another company would hire you. Think again about the positive aspects of staying put. Your current job may stink, but they know how little to expect from you and they still haven't fired you. That level of stupidity may not be found in another employer. It's horrible to think about, but at a new job, they may actually expect you to work. And that's the kind of ugly outcome you definitely don't want.

I'm not sure what to make of the sign, "Your Job Doesn't Speak to You." Basically, the idea here is that "If you've lost your passion for your job, open your mind to other opportunities that do speak to you."

Ridiculous! I understand the love connection between you and your employer may have evaporated, and you no longer feel your hot blood rising when you whip up a quarterly sales report or squabble with the HR zombies over your expense account, but think of the thrill you feel when you buy groceries or pay your electric bill.

I'm not saying a salary is a substitute for passion, but it will do until the real thing comes along.

For all the advice on when to leave a job, Alison Doyle does recommend that you don't consider turning in your resignation without a new job in place. As she wisely points out, "it's typically easier to land a new job when you still have your old one."

Besides, if you play it right, you may be able to keep both jobs.

Could job bigamy work for you?

You do so little at your current job, it may take months for management to notice that you're no longer working there. This allows you to collect a paycheck from job No. 1 and job No. 2, and maybe No. 3, since job No. 2 will surely give you a breaking-in period so you can "get up to speed."

By the time they figure out that your only speed is reverse, you'll have made enough money to move on to job No. 4 or retire altogether. And that, my friend, is the best sign of all.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at [email protected]. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: stevepb at Pixabay