DR. WALLACE: I'm worried about New Year's Eve because we have a big family get-together planned. Unfortunately, there's going to be well over 20 people and there are three or four who are definitely going to be arguing with each other over politics and religion.

It's bad enough that we have to listen to this go on at a time we should be celebrating a new year, but the worst part is they always try to get us teenagers involved on one side or the other. I truly hate being called upon to give my opinion to anyone.

Is there anything I can do about this? I'd like to plan something so I don't say the wrong thing or just sit there stammering. — No Fan of These Discussions, via email

NO FAN OF THESE DISCUSSIONS: It's truly sad when adults argue in front of children and teenagers, but it's especially egregious in my opinion when they try to drag others into the fray. Some people are more opinionated than others, and sadly, those with the strongest opinions tend to have a sense of entitlement or certainty that their opinion is the correct one.

You are wise to seek an off-ramp to being drawn into this type of situation. My advice to you is to simply answer quite calmly that you may not be a good person to ask about this, since you are more of a centrist at heart, and your primary desire is to see everyone get along and work together for the greater good. Smile at everyone, say no more and then resume taking a bite of your delicious meal.

MY BROTHER FEELS ENTITLED TO BORROW ANYTIME HE PLEASES

DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school girl who plays on the basketball team. I take the sport quite seriously and really enjoy the exercise, the competition and the friendships I have with my teammates. About a year ago, I bought a great indoor/outdoor basketball so that I could practice not only at home but on local playgrounds as well whenever I wanted to.

I have a younger brother who is 14, and he's beginning to become basketball crazy himself. He often asks me to borrow my basketball, and I let him take it for a while. But one time after he borrowed it, he didn't come home with it and he explained that some of the other boys he was playing with wanted to keep playing, and they didn't want him to take the basketball.

I did eventually get it back over a week later, but I missed several opportunities to practice on my own. I then told my brother in no uncertain terms that I would only loan him the basketball up through Dec. 25, 2025.

Today he asked me to use my basketball, and when I told him that the deadline had passed and the ball was no longer available for use, he pouted and called me names. I set the deadline because I knew he would be getting some money as a gift from our grandmother, more than enough to buy a basketball of his own. He could afford the great ball I bought, or even a little bit lesser model that is more than serviceable for outdoor basketball courts. My parents say it's my decision, but they are quietly pressuring me to start loaning my brother the basketball again. What do you think about this? — I Need the Ball Myself Sometimes, via email

I NEED TO BALL MYSELF SOMETIMES: I feel your handling of the situation was more than reasonable, and fair as well. You allowed him to continue borrowing the basketball after being moderately irresponsible with it for a period of time, and then you set a deadline for him that he knew about well in advance.

Now he has holiday gift money that he can use to buy his own basketball, but apparently, he's planning to use that money elsewhere while continuing to borrow your basketball, if he can convince you by laying a big enough guilt trip on you to relent to his wishes.

You have every right to keep your basketball handy for your own needs, so my advice would be to perhaps offer to take him to a local mall or sporting goods store to pick out a basketball that he can own himself. Since he's younger, it may be possible that you already are driving, or you may have friends who would take the two of you to such an outing. If your brother still refuses this offer, your conscience will be clean.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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