DR. WALLACE: My mother and I started a healthy eating program on the Fourth of July. Both of us are overweight, and we each need to lose some weight and eat healthier consistently to be able to enjoy our lives more and hopefully increase our respective lifespans.

Overall, we've both done well, and we're making slow, steady progress toward losing weight and building better eating habits. However, last weekend I had planned to be out with my friends for an entire afternoon, but I forgot my phone at home. Our group then doubled back so that I could pick it up.

When I went inside, I noticed that my mother wasn't there, even though her car was in the driveway. I retrieved my phone from my room, and on the way out I looked through the windows into our backyard. To my surprise, I saw my mother facing slightly away from the house eating a cupcake with a lot of icing on it!

Cupcakes are the one thing we both agreed not to eat going forward, and I had a sinking feeling when I saw that. I didn't do or say anything, I just quietly left the house, rejoined my friends and went on my outing.

What should I do about what I saw? Don't you think it's hypocritical of my mother to tell me not to eat cupcakes anymore when she's apparently at least occasionally sneaking one? — I Was Shocked To See That, via email

I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE THAT: Whether or not you confront your mother regarding what you witnessed is of course entirely up to you, but I probably have a slightly different take on the situation than you do at this point.

Your mother is obviously finding it hard to go cold turkey in avoiding one of her favorite treats, but she has done her best overall to stick to the program the two of you agreed on. I feel she's doing this not only for herself, but for you as well. She loves you and would really like to see you succeed in getting your weight and eating habits under control, especially at your young age.

Yes, she did give in to her cravings at least this one time, but the fact that she has also gradually lost weight with you tells me that overall, she's sticking with your program.

Overcoming poor eating habits is an uphill battle very much like the one faced by those who try to quit smoking or drinking alcohol.

A person who quit smoking successfully often sneaks a cigarette here and there as their smoking days are winding down, and those who successfully stop drinking alcohol at times sip a drink occasionally during that journey as well.

Therefore, I wouldn't lose faith in your mother, but rather continue to stay the course on your respective journeys and encourage her as much as you can.

I HAVE PERMISSION BUT NO ACTION

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I have permission to start dating, but my shyness is definitely holding me back. I dress pretty well, and I feel I'm pretty enough to be asked out on an occasional date. But because my circle of friends and acquaintances is small and I don't often speak to anyone else, I kind of glide through my high school campus unnoticed most of the time.

What can I do about this? I know I'm not a good conversationalist, but I guess that means I've got room to improve, correct? Please give me just one tip. I know I could read up a whole lot on this subject and study lots of possible advice on what to do, but I'd like to keep it simple with just one strategy at a time. — I Need To Socialize More, via email

I NEED TO SOCIALIZE MORE: The best way to socialize more is to become comfortable starting and maintaining conversations.

Practice building up a repertoire of open-ended questions you can sprinkle into almost any conversation.

For example, if you asked a potential new friend, "Do you like Taylor Swift's music?" they could answer with just yes or no. But if you instead asked, "What do you think of Taylor Swift's music and her current popularity?" then you would be much more likely to receive a longer and fuller answer.

It's important to listen carefully to what the other person says, so that your return comments make sense. Additionally, always try to relax and smile when you're talking to another person, as this tends to make them relax and smile back. Finally, don't correct someone you're just meeting when they say something incorrect or if they use incorrect grammar. Your goal here is to comfortably meet new people, not to embarrass anyone, and to have the conversation wrap up well, so that you can converse more with them in the future.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Viktor Forgacs at Unsplash