DR. WALLACE: I'm expected to buy a holiday gift to present to a family member who just moved into our area about four months ago from the East Coast. We've lived about 2,000 miles apart for many years, and I've only seen her twice in 10 years at summer family reunions that are set up as "open vacations" that any member of our whole extended family can attend.

I saw her at Zion National Park and once in New Orleans on a big riverboat. But both times we had over thirty family members in attendance, so I didn't speak much directly to her, so I don't really know her too well.

What can I do about this? Time is going by fast, and I need to get going on my shopping! — I Don't Know What to Get Her, via email

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET HER: Start by talking to other family members about her. Learn about what hobbies she has, what her interests are, and where she likes to travel when she has free time.

These insights can give you at least a general idea about where to start. Then select a gift you feel will fit into one of those categories.

Even if you end up duplicating an item with a gift that you have given serious research to, she will appreciate your efforts. And if she has something similar already, be prepared to give her a receipt so that she can make an exchange for something similar that fits her needs better.

Finally, use this experience to get to know her better! Tell her (after the gift is opened) all about how concerned you were to find her something that she'd appreciate and that might be right for her as an individual. Few things break the ice better than talking shopping with a family member that you are in the process of getting to know better.

SADLY, THIS ONE IS THE LEAST IMPRESSIVE

DR. WALLACE: Should I tell my father that I'm unimpressed with his new girlfriend? My mom and dad have been divorced now for five years, and I spend time at both of their homes since they live only about 10 miles away from each other (on opposite ends of our city).

My dad has gone through about a half-dozen girlfriends since he broke up with my mom. Some were all right, others not so much, but this one seems the least impressive of all.

I kind of feel like telling him that he's getting further from finding what he's looking for, in a way that's similar to the children's game where kids close their eyes and walk around!

It's like my dad is clueless as to what he's doing here. She's only been around for three weeks, and I hope he comes to his senses soon. — I Feel He's Off Course, via email

I FEEL HE'S OFF COURSE: My advice is to say nothing to your father on this topic, unless she does something illegal or very untoward that you observe firsthand. Short of that, let things take their own course.

It's not your place to be a relationship adviser to your father, or your mother for that matter. However, if either of them has a significant other that you do find very nice or compatible, it's fine to say that you like and respect the person.

But for those you don't approve of, simply let your silence indicate your opinion and do your best to get along with everyone in the meantime.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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