DR. WALLACE: I have an important person in my life, but I am not fully sure of this person's intentions. Specifically, I'm not sure if I'm being told the truth all the time.

It could be that I'm being manipulated to a slight degree or perhaps to a much larger degree.

Is there any way I can tell if I'm being lied to? I don't want a direct confrontation for a variety of reasons, so I won't be asking this person outright, "Are you lying to me?" — I Have My Suspicions, via email

I HAVE MY SUSPICIONS: Depending on the context of how this person fits into your life, you may want to take divergent actions. If this person is essentially going to be permanently in your orbit, like a family member, then you need to decide how to pursue your suspicions further.

However, if this person is a new acquaintance who you've just met, then it may be better to not engage any further, since you already have deeply felt doubts about many of your conversations. The best time to cut your losses with a potentially toxic person is as soon as you realize something may be wrong. In order not to overreact and act too fast, you can ask some other friends or trusted individuals about the person. And if needed, arrange to have a trusted person meet with the two of you in person so that your group conversation can be evaluated. If this occurs, do bring up some of the suspicious topics or statements so that your trusted friend can both hear the reply and observe the body language being used.

If this is a family member, then immediately go to other family members you trust explicitly and explain your concerns in detail, ask for confidentiality in advance and be honest about why you feel so suspicious. A trusted adult within your family should be a great resource for you here. Don't let this situation go any further. Act now so that you can clear the air very soon either way.

MY DAD THINKS I DID THIS ON PURPOSE

DR. WALLACE: I'm a teen boy who accidentally started a fire in our garage by knocking over a spare gas can while I was looking for some winter sporting goods I wanted to use. Things fell off a shelf and knocked the gas can over by a space heater that I had plugged in since our garage is freezing cold. I knew it would take me a while to look for the stuff and so that's why I plugged in the heater.

But now my parents, especially my father, think I did this on purpose! So, I'm in big trouble and am grounded until the end of December.

Worst of all, my father called me a pyromaniac to my face! He knows I liked the movie "Backdraft" since he watched it with me when I was younger. Now my dad thinks I did all of this on purpose, but I did not. What can I do to convince him? — Not a Pyro, via email

NOT A PYRO: It sounds as if your father is out of line here, and from my perspective, he should never call you accusatory names in a derogatory manner, no matter the circumstances.

To start with, I'll take you at your word as you related it in your letter. So, since you know you are innocent, why don't you and both parents visit a local fire station as this will give you a chance to explain to fire professionals exactly what happened in your circumstance and in what order?

Was the gas can full? Was there only a little gas in the can but the cap was loose? How exactly did the fire ignite? How much time did you have to potentially stop the fire?

When did you notice it first? Was there a lot of smoke right away or not? Think carefully about every single detail and be ready to answer all questions honestly to the best of your ability. I feel this will give you and your parents the best opportunity to reconcile what happened and why.

No matter the outcome of this meeting, your father should never call you names whether he has proof you started this fire intentionally or not. And if you are indeed cleared by your local fire station, your father should rescind your grounding immediately and find a way to make things up to you.

But if such a meeting yields results pointing towards your proactive culpability, or if you are unwilling to speak with fire professionals in person, then you and your family should seek professional counseling for you immediately.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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