DR. WALLACE: My parents treat me like I work for their company! My parents are successful entrepreneurs, and they work together at the company they founded over 20 years ago.

The good news is that I help them occasionally on weekends at their business with some light filing and packaging duties, so I get in return what amounts to a very healthy allowance for a 16-year-old girl. However, on the flip side, the bad news is that they treat me like an unpaid personal servant within our family home!

I often have to start cooking the dinners, clean all the dishes after dinner and I also must do some housekeeping duties because my parents seem to work with all of their free time at their business. My mom does come home after I've started dinner and completes it using her great cooking skills. So, it's not like I have to cook all of the dinners by myself, but I do have to start the dinner by myself four or five days a week. I feel we should get a full-time housekeeper, but so far, my parents haven't warmed to that idea at all.

Can I refuse to be subjected to housework and cooking in our family home? None of my other girlfriends at school have to do anywhere near the amount of work I do at home. They don't get much allowance and their clothes aren't as nice, but they seem to be just as happy because they have more free time for themselves. I will confess that our family gets to go on super great vacations twice a year, but the rest of the time I have to work! What can I do about this? — A 16-Year-old Housekeeper and Cook, via email

A 16-YEAR-OLD HOUSEKEEPER: As long as you are not being mistreated, you are actually doing your part as a family member.

Your parents did everything for you when you were a baby and toddler. Now it is your turn to help your family keep up with the household chores. From the sound of your letter, it sounds like your parents run a quite successful business and you benefit from that with nice clothing, excellent vacations and opportunities to work part time on the weekends at this business to earn extra money for yourself.

As long as your grades are not suffering, I feel that your family can keep up with the household duties without a housekeeper at this point. The fact that your mother only has you start the dinners and then she comes in and works in the kitchen to finish up the meal preparation tells me that this is indeed a team effort.

Many young ladies who are much less fortunate than you are would love to trade places with your situation.

I suggest you count your blessings and continue to work hard to be a productive family member who can proudly say she pulls her weight when it comes to family chores and responsibilities.

SHOULD I TELL THE TRUTH TO MY FRIEND?

DR. WALLACE: My good friend who attends my school and lives only two streets away from me has recently changed in many ways. Due to this I really don't feel the same way toward my friendship with her as I did even a few months ago.

It feels to me as though her priorities have changed and she's much more interested in having a good time, cutting corners and making compromised decisions than she ever used to be. Previously her ethics and moral baseline were what I would consider to be pretty solid for a teenage girl. But now she's making what I feel are poor choices and even encouraging me to follow in her footsteps sometimes.

Should I tell her what I really think of her and risk ruining our friendship and personal relationship? — Concerned Friend, via email

CONCERNED FRIEND: You can tell your friend the truth but be prepared for a reaction that might not be pleasant at first. The key is to not sound condescending or scolding when speaking with her about these changes.

I feel the best approach would be to simply tell her the truth the next time she suggests some action to you that you are uncomfortable with.

Calmly tell her that you are not comfortable with her suggestions and explain why. This way she'll know exactly where you stand and over time, she may be less inclined to invite you along on outings that she'll know in advance you will decline to follow her on.

From there one of two things will likely happen. She could begin to drift away from you on her own and spend less time talking to you or socializing with you. On the other hand, she could realize the reasons why you feel uncomfortable and perhaps return more earnestly toward the spirit of the friendship you enjoyed with her a few months ago. Either way your moral compass will remain intact, and this tactful approach will most likely gradually allow things to settle out one way or another without a major confrontation.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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