DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I love each other very much, and we've known each other for over two years. We graduated from different high schools two years ago, and we're both taking online college classes right now during this pandemic.

Our relationship has gone through its ups and downs, especially when he cheated on me about a year ago. We managed to get together again after we initially broke up, and he said he would tell me if he ever wanted to date someone else rather than go behind by back and cheat on me in secret.

We've been talking a lot lately about moving out and getting married. I'm not sure I want to get married just yet, but I am ready for a change, and I do want to move out of my parents' house.

How do I know that I'm making the right decision, if he does end up proposing to me and asking me to move in with him? Do you feel I should say yes? — Still Together Through It All, via email

STILL TOGETHER THROUGH IT ALL: The first question you need to ask yourself is, does your boyfriend love you more than anything? Because if he doesn't, then you shouldn't marry him, and I'd also advise against you moving in with him.

Marriage is a huge commitment and should not be entered into lightly — especially not just because you "want to move out" of your parents' house.

You've already experienced the pain of infidelity. Don't let your desire to move away from home become a reason to get married. I suggest you find a compatible, single girlfriend who would make a good roommate and move out that way, once you can support yourself. This way, you can continue to monitor your present relationship, or even start a new one, without an underlying desire to move attached to your decisions.

A TOUGH DECISION

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend broke up with me four weeks ago, and I've been pretty depressed since then. He told me that he was going through a "tough time" and he needed a break from several things in his life, including me. For nearly a month, I never stopped crying and found myself always trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive him away.

Well, now my boyfriend called me last night and said he wants to get back together with me! He claims he made a mistake and now wants me back.

I still love him, but he really broke my heart into several pieces. I'm confused now and not sure what to do going forward from here.

I really don't think things between the two of us can go back to how they were before, since he hurt me so badly. How do I know if it is right to give him another chance? My best girlfriend says that, in her opinion, I should move on and find someone new and considerate of my feelings. Is she right? — Hurt and Doubtful, via email

HURT AND DOUBTFUL: Of course, you can get back with your former boyfriend, if you choose to. Or you can write him off entirely, if you choose to take that route.

If you do consider going back and you don't talk things through to get a full understanding of why he broke it off, you may never understand what happened, and consequently, you'll be unlikely to feel comfortable in the future, even if you do resume dating this young man.

My advice is to agree to a meeting — only to "hear him out" regarding his story of what happened and why — and then tell him that you'll need some time to think things over. If he agrees to meet you with no strings attached, you'll have the opportunity to consider how you feel after you receive more details and context about your past breakup. If such a future conversation goes well, you can think about dating him again. If such a conversation does not make sense or does not seem plausible to you, then it may be best to move on.

Finally, if he won't agree to a first meeting only to go over the past, in my opinion, you'll have your answer.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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