DR. WALLACE: I have a close friend from my high school who was adopted when she was just 4 years old. Right now, we are both 16 years old. Her adoptive parents are very nice, and she gets along very well with them. She calls them Mom and Dad and tells me that they treat her just like she was their own blood daughter.

I live with my parents, and our situation is quite different. My parents fight all the time. I don't mean physically fighting. I'm talking about yelling, slamming doors and throwing books and television remote control devices at each other. I'm an only child, and maybe they got married because they got pregnant with me and they didn't know what else to do at that time.

So, all of this has me wondering if I should've been adopted so I could have a nice family to live with instead of a family that's always arguing and fighting. It's so tiring to hear it all the time, and it's so embarrassing that I can't ever be comfortable bringing any of my other girlfriends over to our house because I'm afraid they will see my parents "in action." — Embarrassed Daughter, via email

EMBARRASSED DAUGHTER: I'm sure your parents love you very much. Unfortunately, these are very tough times, especially for some adults who feel various new forms of pressure in their lives.

Talk to your parents, either together or separately, and let them know that their fighting and arguing bothers you so much. Ask them if you can help them in any way to bring more harmony to your household. Sometimes, parents get shocked back to their senses when a child calmly asks for a rational change to be made that will help everyone.

HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS HOLIDAY SPECIAL?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 12 years old and have two younger brothers, and in our family, I'm the only girl. I'm worried because I don't have any money, and Christmas is coming. Both my parents lost their jobs during COVID-19. My dad just went back to work last month part time, so that will help a little. But money is really tight right now, so I don't want to ask my parents for money to buy gifts with.

What can I do so that my brothers and I have a good Christmas? We want to give our parents at least a gift or two, but we don't know how we will be able to do this. — Want To Help, via email

WANT TO HELP: You can begin by counting your blessings that you and your family are safe and healthy. Have faith that things will get better for everyone. Christmas may be a little different this year for many families, including yours.

I have a couple of suggestions for you. First, have your brothers get a friend to take some nice photos of the three of you, and get some inexpensive picture frames to put the photos into. These make nice gifts and will look great in your house for the entire year.

You can look around your home to see if there are items you can clean, organize or arrange in a new way that might then be suitable as a small gift for your parents. You can also give the "gift" of promising to help more with the family chores around your home so that your parents will have more time to work and look for work until things gradually return more toward the normal you knew before.

One last suggestion would be to write each of your parents a handwritten essay of a few pages that tells them how much you love them and how much you appreciate all they do for you and your brothers. Mention a few funny stories you may recall, and also include some fun outings or fun times you all spent in the last year as a family. Thoughtful, heartfelt gifts like this might mean more to them than anything you could ever buy in a store.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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