DR. WALLACE: My sister and I were happy when our father moved out of our house because our family was a very dysfunctional family then. He had a drinking problem and was rude and cantankerous. Our mother got a legal separation and our life was much better and more peaceful.

It has been just over a year since then and our lives are much better. Our mother has had dinner several times with our father since the separation and they have begun to be more compatible since he has stopped drinking. My sister and I were not happy that Mom was seeing Dad, but we couldn't do anything about it.

Then last week Mom told us that she and Dad have "kissed and made up" and next month he's going to move back home. We were not happy about this but there was nothing we could do and we don't want to start any trouble over this. Mom said that our Dad has changed and wants to prove he loves us and wants us to be as family again. What should my sister and I do to maintain the nice life we have now? — Worried, Orlando, Fla.

WORRIED: It's up to Mom to prove to you and your sister that Dad is really a changed man. He wants to prove that he loves his family and wants to be a complete family again. You should have Mom set up a family meeting with him, in which the two of you can express your concerns and ask pertinent questions that would help you gauge his sincerity. Certainly, among other things, you should find out what steps he has taken to get his drinking under control.

If he has changed, he deserves the chance to prove it. But get a commitment from Mom that if Dad goes back to his old ways, he will be asked to leave again.

A happy family without a father is much better than a miserable one saddled with a dysfunctional father.

DATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND DON'T FEEL GUILTY

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and dating a girl who is 16. We have a huge problem. Her dad doesn't want her to date until she's 17 (five months away), but she talked her mom into letting her go out with me.

Her dad works the 4 p.m. to midnight shift at the steel mill, so it's pretty easy for us to date without his knowledge. We take no chances. I always get her home at 11 p.m. sharp. And, since his days off are Sunday and Monday, we can go out on Friday and Saturday night.

I've talked to my girlfriend's mother about all this. She says she and her husband can't agree on when Cindy should be allowed to date, so she overrode his "don't date until 17 rule."

I really like this girl a lot and I know she is capable of being in a dating relationship, but it bothers me that we have to sneak around behind her father's back. But Cindy doesn't see it this way. She thinks as long as her mother says she can date, everything is fine.

Do you think I should let this situation bother me or should I close it out of my mind and just enjoy dating her? — Dave, Pittsburgh, Pa.

DAVE: Her mother and father should be in concert about when their daughter starts dating, but the fact that they are not is their problem, not yours.

Enjoy dating this girl and don't feel guilty.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.