DR. WALLACE: I'm 14, and my older sister is 17. She gets involved in conversations with our parents at dinner, as they will ask all of us about our day, and they start with her since she's the oldest. It seems like at least three times a week, she uses some kind of phrase like, "This isn't the best news, but ..." and then she'll go on to tell some long story that really isn't a big deal either way. She also takes a lot of time explaining things that don't really matter or aren't that important.

Finally, my brother and I get our turn to talk, and we just talk about our day in normal ways. Why do you think my sister always has to try to scare everybody by saying she doesn't have good or great news before she talks about it? To be honest, I get tired of listening to her rambling stories that don't mean much when she's finally finished. — My Older Sister Rambles On, via email

MY OLDER SISTER RAMBLES ON: My best guess as to why your sister decides to preface her comments with preambles such as, "Well, this isn't really good news, but ..." is, she is trying to soften the blow of divulging some sort of difficult news or comments that might cause others to raise an eyebrow or even wince. Another plausible explanation would be that she is using this type of preamble to ensure attention is paid to the comments about to be delivered.

In either case, once discussions are completed that don't necessarily prove to be congruent with the preface's warning, those who hear future comments in a similar manner will likely begin to tune out the forewarnings, and your experience certainly proves this out in your particular case.

It's likely just as simple as that. Your older sister may enjoy the attention and drama she feels she's creating while she has her turn as the primary conversationalist during a family discussion. It's also a learning experience for you, because you know how it feels to be on the listening end of such a conversation, so I trust you won't be using the same approach yourself unless you truly have something meaningful or critical to actually say.

WE CAME HOME TO A SIGN ON OUR OLDEST SON'S BEDROOM DOOR!

DR. WALLACE: My husband and I were shocked to come home from work the other day and find that our 15-year-old son had affixed a "No Trespassing" sign to the door in his bedroom. This is definitely his reaction to the fact that his 11-year-old brother has been barging into his room unannounced for a long time, and my older son has been complaining about it vehemently recently.

We were both shocked that he took this step and did this without our permission at all! One day we saw the sign without any warning. How should we now handle this development? — He Took Things Into His Own Hands, via email

HE TOOK THINGS INTO HIS OWN HANDS: There are a couple of possible actions that come to mind from my perspective here. You can, of course, demand the removal of the sign from your elder son's door, or you could choose to let it stand. If you elect to let it stand, you should definitely sit down with that son and let him know that in the future, he needs to come to you before he unilaterally makes that type of decision. You could frame the discussion as the sign being his "one freebie" but that any future unauthorized similar actions won't be tolerated and will result in grounding.

As to your younger son, if you elect to let the sign stand, go to your younger son and let him know that you'll put a custom sign on his door with whatever he wants as well. It's key to make him feel that he's being treated in an equal way, because if the older brother gets a sign, he's entitled to one too, as long as it's tasteful. Being able to have a sign on his door will also make him feel a bit more grown up, and you can use this opportunity to teach him about courtesy and manners, as his privacy will be respected, just like his older brother's. As long as you feel the situation is improved by letting your older son's sign stand and accommodating your younger son, it just may be a teachable opportunity for everyone.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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