DR. WALLACE: Today is Veterans Day, and my father is a veteran. I always tell him in the morning on Veterans Day how much I appreciate the service he gave to our country.

He's a great dad. The only thing I would change about him would be to get him to stop smoking cigarettes. He was smoking up to two packs a day, but now has limited that to either one pack a day or slightly less.

I'm a 17-year-old girl and I've already decided I'm never going to smoke anything, ever. But sadly, my 15-year-old brother got caught with a cigarette last week, and of course, my father was very upset with him. My little brother told my dad, "Well, they can't be that bad, because you smoke them every day."

I think this hit my father in a soft spot because his tone changed immediately, and he greatly reduced the punishment. My father did make my brother promise never to smoke again, and he explained to him that if he could quit his nasty habit immediately, he would.

I think my brother started experimenting with cigarettes because he saw my dad do it. Fortunately, all the other examples my dad projects in his life are excellent, like character, integrity, a great work ethic and love of his family. Why is it that it seems everybody has at least one major flaw? — Wish My Dad Wouldn't Smoke, via email

WISH MY DAD WOULDN'T SMOKE: It is unfortunate that your brother indeed most likely modeled his curiosity for smoking based on your father's regular use in front of him.

This concept is quite common and is repeated across many topics over many families, literally worldwide. Children see parents doing something, and they model that behavior. Fortunately, your father has an overwhelming amount of good characteristics, except for his heavy smoking habit.

All human beings have flaws, shortcomings and habits they wish they could reduce greatly or eliminate entirely. But a key concept here is for parents to do their utmost to reduce and eliminate habits that can be picked up by their children. These habits can be easily noticed, like smoking, drinking to access, drug usage, swearing, screaming at a spouse or even simply watching too much television. All of it is noticed by teenagers and subconsciously filed away. No parent is perfect, but almost every parent could make moderate to meaningful changes in the behavior they engage in that are picked up by their teenagers.

I'M STUCK UNDER MY IMMATURE BROTHER'S RULES!

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and enjoy my school and my friends a lot. My parents are mostly fair and reasonable, and they take good care of us. I'm the middle child of three.

My only complaint is that my parents have so many rules! Because my older sister is dating regularly, she has a bunch of rules to follow. My little brother is four years younger than I am, and he has a whole set of rules, too.

My main complaint is that, for some reason, my parents make me adhere to the same rules my younger brother has to follow. I feel I'm much more mature than he is, and I shouldn't have to be held to the same rules he has to follow. I want to say something to my parents about this, but I'm afraid that if I bring the topic up, they might even impose more rules on me! What do you think I should do? — Tangled Up in Rules, via email

TANGLED UP IN RULES: I suggest that you do bring the topic up. Your goal should be to engage in a conversation with your parents with a set of rules that you know you can follow and that you feel are reasonably fair for your age and position in the family.

Rather than starting a discussion and trying to debate each point one by one, do some advance work by yourself. Write down a rule that you feel needs to be adjusted slightly to correctly match your age and level of maturity. Literally write out the rules with the adjustments you'd like to see incorporated into the list.

Have these ready to go and make a presentation to your parents on these rules. By taking the time to lay everything out in advance, coupled with your sincere tone of voice and smile while delivering the list to them, your parents may be impressed enough to warrant customizing a set of rules specifically for you, versus your much younger brother. Good luck!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Idin Ebrahimi at Unsplash