DR. WALLACE: Our school is currently taking orders for class rings, and almost all of my best friends are ordering one. I really want to get one, but my family told me they can't afford it.

The father of one of my best friends found out about my predicament, and he offered to pay for my class ring if it would be acceptable to my parents. I'd like to not say anything to my parents and just have him place the order for the ring. I would only wear it when I'm outside of our house. I really don't want to embarrass my parents by having another family pay for my class ring.

However, I'm worried that someday I may forget that I'm wearing it and my parents could see it on my hand. What's the best way for me to handle this situation? — I'd Like To Get a Class Ring, via email

I'D LIKE A CLASS RING: I don't believe going behind your parents' backs is a good idea at all. You should never put yourself in a situation where you're going to try to hide an object of jewelry or clothing from your parents. Eventually, you will forget, and this would cause a situation that could damage both your personal integrity and your family's harmony.

Perhaps you could ask your friend's father if there is some type of work you could perform for his business, home or any nearby neighbor who may need help with yard work or cleaning, for example.

Perhaps his daughter, your girlfriend, could assist you in this fundraising effort.

You could then explain this work opportunity to your parents and even be prepared to introduce your parents to him in case your parents want to verify it. If your parents agree to allow you to work to earn the money for the ring, it would both solve your desire to acquire a class ring and teach you the value of working hard to earn money for a purchase. And best of all, you'll garner a lesson in family diplomacy as well.

I WANTED TO GO UNTIL I REALIZED SHE WILL BE THERE

DR WALLACE: I got invited to a really nice birthday party that I'd like to attend in two weeks, and I already accepted the invitation. Several of my good friends are going to be there, along with some people I don't know too well.

Everything seemed great about this upcoming event, but I just found out that a girl I got into an argument with a couple of years ago (because she was really rude, mean and pushy) is also going to be there with a few of her friends.

Now I'm worried about attending this event at all, and a large part of me wants to stay away just to avoid any potential drama. But the other part of me really wants to go to this party and hang out with my friends, since I know it's going to be a great and fun day there. Is there anything I can do about this? I really don't want to revisit all of the drama that occurred between me and this other girl a few years ago. The good news is I haven't seen or spoken to her since that happened, so I had kind of forgotten all about her. I think she now goes to another school across town, because she's definitely not at our school anymore. — I Have Guest List Anxiety, via email

I HAVE GUEST LIST ANXIETY: I recommend that you go to this event, per your confirmation that you would attend. Plan to have a great time and rehearse in your mind exactly what you'll do when you see this girl, in case the two of you end up near each other at some point.

I suggest that you plan ahead to break the ice by looking directly at her when the time comes, smiling and saying in a nice voice, "It's good to see you again, I hope you're doing well these days."

Then simply smile again, make a brief comment about how nice the party is and continue to walk over to the people you want to spend time with. If you can do this, the odds are very high that this other girl will be so surprised that she won't react much at all at first, and it's even possible she'll feel comforted by the fact you approached her in a nice way. You'll also find that once you've broken the ice in a way like this, your anxiety will subside greatly. The two of you may or may not ever be cordial to each other or spend much time talking to each other again, but don't be surprised if someday she talks to you normally. Remember that each of you have matured a few years since those days from long ago. So, smile, be polite and act as if you remember no previous drama.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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