DR. WALLACE: I'm a senior in high school, and the guy I'm dating is also in my grade at our high school. He totally looks the part of a great boyfriend as he dresses well, has good hygiene and is personable and friendly.

I met him through mutual friends who recommended him to me. I did not know him at all a few months ago as we have never been in the same class at any point over the years at our large, urban high school.

My friends all say that we look good together as a couple, but they are not aware of how I feel beyond just how we look when we are out together in public.

I'm concerned that at times he's very friendly and romantic, to the point of being much pushier than I would like, and then once I rebuff him, he goes "ice cold" on me for several days at a time. This cycle seems to repeat about every two weeks or so.

Am I overreacting to what may be just the normal fluctuations within a relationship, or is that little voice in the back of my head right? It often tells me that this relationship is already in trouble. I really don't want to discuss this with my friends or solicit their advice about him since they were the ones who introduced me to him in the first place. — Growing Uneasy, via email

GROWING UNEASY: That little voice that pops up in the back of our minds from time to time is usually correct. You rightfully feel uneasy and do not deserve to be treated this way.

Despite how much your friends feel that the two of you "look the part" of a great couple, your reality is vastly subpar. Therefore, I suggest you move on from this relationship right away. Any guy who floats between being overly aggressive physically and then doling out a cold shoulder for several days immediately afterward is engaging in emotional abuse.

Move on right away without discussing anything with your friends at all. When they ask you what happened, just tell them that the two of you were not a good fit and leave it at that. This way, you won't say anything disparaging about him to those who recommended him to you.

SHOULD I COME CLEAN ABOUT MY PAST?

DR. WALLACE: I was led astray by a former boyfriend in high school and I did a few drugs with him back then that I'm not proud of now. These days, I'm a successful college student, and my current life is what I call "sweet and clean."

My fear is that my past could bite me at some point in the future. My steady boyfriend and I are getting along better and better and we are starting to get serious. I have not discussed my past with him because of both my personal shame and the fact that we have not discussed all details about our mutual pasts in granular detail.

Since we are getting serious, should I bring this up now or just let things be? I know I'm no longer that foolish younger girl that I was back then, and I don't ever plan to be that way ever again. I have firm control of my life, and I love living a good life that makes me proud of myself these days. — I'm No Longer That Person, via email

I'M NO LONGER THAT PERSON: I don't see the need to immediately blurt out all of the details of your past, especially since he has not delved deeply into his past with you either. The two of you met long after you had made your changes and that's what is important these days.

Continue to move ahead in your life in all ways that make you proud, and forgive yourself for your past mistakes. If and when a deep discussion may arise at some point later in your life that is conducive to you mentioning a bit of your past for a good reason, do so then, but if that happens, you only need to be very general about your past rather than go into a lot of unsavory details.

We all have elements and experiences in our past that we wish never happened and that we would prefer to forget. You should distance yourself from your past and not look back or think about it, other than to reinforce how happy you are now.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Joseph Young at Unsplash