DR. WALLACE: I have a good friend who has recently started dating a person who has, shall we say, a dubious reputation. I brought this up once to him early on, and all he said was, "I know what I'm doing."

But lately there has been a lot of chatter at our school about their relationship and what may or may not be going on between them.

I plan to remain his friend for a long time, but I don't know how to delicately tell him what I'm hearing via the grapevine at our school. What's the best way I can help him with this as his friend? His reputation may be at risk. — People Are Talking, via email

PEOPLE ARE TALKING: The best way you can help him is to say nothing further. He already heard you the first time you spoke up on this topic and since he attends the same school you do, he's aware of the very same rumors. He's responsible for his own reputation, not you, and his actions will ultimately shape and determine his reputation, not the current gossip.

And although some rumors are true or partially true, others are untrue. The only two people who know for sure what is or is not going on are those two individuals.

Your role is to remain a good friend, be there for him no matter what, and to not be judgmental.

GRANDPA IS GREAT EXCEPT IN THIS AREA

DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student who lives on campus but near my family's home. My grandpa lives near us too and he and I get along great with one exception.

His beef is only with my driving! I often have to take him to one of his doctor's appointments, this occurs about twice a month. Each time, he will sit in the front seat next to me and critique my driving. He's always yelling, "watch out" or "be careful here!" This drives me crazy, but I don't say anything even though my blood pressure rises dramatically each time I have him in my car.

My parents both work out of town during the day, so I'm the family member who has a schedule that can be conducive to helping grandpa. But I don't know how much longer I can tolerate his "play by play" verbalization and evaluation of my driving! Any suggestions that can save me? He's a wonderful grandpa in so many ways, but this one exception is driving me nuts. — He's Tough to Drive Around, via email

HE'S TOUGH TO DRIVE AROUND: I can think of an idea that might help you. In advance of his next appointment, plan to ask a friend to go with you in your car!

Give this friend a ride somewhere so that you can honestly tell grandpa that you are dropping your friend off at home, work, the mall or wherever is appropriate.

Introduce your friend to your grandpa and tell your friend in front of him just how great he is and why you love him so much, have your friend already established in the front passenger seat and have grandpa sit directly behind you in the back seat.

This seating arrangement will keep his eyes off of you and your dashboard and his line of sight will be towards your friend. Ask your friend ahead of time to have a few quick topics to speak to your grandpa about. This small talk should soak up the minutes needed to deliver grandpa to his appointment.

If you wait for him and drive him home too, then aim to keep your friend on board for the ride home too.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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