DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and I live at home with my parents and three younger siblings. Both of my parents work, although my mother only works part time. We are a decidedly middle-class family living in a middle-class neighborhood.

We've never been pressed hard to pay our bills, but we've never had a lot of extra money to throw around either. Our family is pretty frugal and even our vacations during my entire childhood were quite modest. We always bought our clothes during sales, and my mom is legendary at using coupons to keep our food costs down.

I'm attending a junior college because I'm interested in potentially someday going into the nursing profession. I recently got a part-time job in a pretty good upscale restaurant as a waitress, and so far I like this job a lot. I work in the restaurant four evenings a week and this gives me enough time to complete my studies and attend my classes, but I don't have as much time as I used to have taking care of my younger siblings by preparing meals for them and also helping out around the house. Because I have started working, my mother has had to reduce her hours at her part-time job so that she can be there to help pick up the food preparation slack for my younger siblings, the youngest of who is only 10 years old.

I was shocked when my father told me last weekend that now that I am working, I'll have to contribute to the family bills. He has asked me to pay $400 per month or room, board and food. I feel this is unfair! He mentioned that I'm an adult now that I'm over 18 years old, but even when I turned 18 he never asked for any money from me. He's only asking now because I have a job outside of the home. I use my money to pay for my books at school, plus a little for tuition, since junior college is not too expensive in our area. I've been using my very good tips to buy better clothes and finally enjoy a wider social life, which includes eating out at restaurants with my friends and my dates. I've been waiting my whole life to make some money for myself, and now my father wants his cut of my income. Do you think he's being unfair with me? — I Work Hard to Earn My Pay, via email

I WORK HARD TO EARN MY PAY: First of all, both of your parents work hard to earn their pay as well! And in your letter, you mentioned that because you are working several evenings now your mother has had to cut her hours at work in order to be home earlier to help with your siblings. This factor, coupled with the current levels of inflation our country is presently experiencing, has likely caused your father to make his request that you contribute to the household budget. As a consumer yourself, I'm sure that you were quite aware that food and gasoline prices presently are higher than they were in previous years.

You're an adult. This development has brought you into the world of setting up a personal budget, and this is a world you'll be living in for the rest of your life. I suggest that you also regularly begin to regularly fund a savings account, even at modest levels, since after two years of junior college your educational goals will require even more capital at the next level.

Life has a way of requiring us all to grow and learn new skills. For you, at 19, this time has arrived. Look at this development as a personal growth opportunity, not as a punitive tax that your father is imposing upon you.

MY PARENTS DON'T APPROVE OF HER VOCATION

DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who is a senior in high school. I've earned good grades and am planning on going to college and eventually becoming an attorney. My mother is a successful attorney in our town and my father owns a successful small business nearby.

Recently, I began dating a girl my age who dropped out of high school but who is attending a vocational school to learn how to become an electrician. I was amazed to learn from her how lucrative this profession is for individuals who can learn the trade well and qualify to rise up to great levels of responsibility as independent contractors or even work on the staff of large corporations.

However, when my parents found out that my girl only has a "GED" from her high school and that she's pursuing a "blue-collar" career, they wrinkle up their noses and say that they feel I can do "better." Do you think it matters what type of career my girlfriend is interested in? I like her for who she is, not what she does for work. And after all, being an electrician is a reputable profession, for sure. — I Approve of Her Even if They Don't, via email

I APPROVE OF HER EVEN IF THEY DON'T: I agree completely with you that as long as her chosen career path is reputable, which it absolutely 100% is, there should be no reason that you don't continue to date her and see where your relationship goes. You are both young and there is plenty of time for each of you to continue forward dating each other and simultaneously pursuing your chosen career paths.

Too often, parents wish to choose, influence or control their offspring's choices in life. It is normal to wish the best for their children, but they must understand that each of their children are unique individuals living in a new generation who must find their own path forward in life.

As a senior in high school, this means you'll soon enough turn 18 and become an adult, just as your girlfriend will. The two of you deserve every chance to spend time together, since it's the two of you who will make the ultimate decisions about how this relationship will evolve over time.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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