DR. WALLACE: I turned 18 and I'm quite interested in buying a car. I need it to travel back and forth to my weekend job and also to use for my social life as well.

I'm a decent student and have never been in trouble at school, but my father remains hesitant to become a co-signer on a loan that will allow me to purchase a reasonable used car. His concerns basically center around the fact that I have never been particularly good at managing money. Although at one time I had a pretty good savings account established, I dipped into it several times for various social events with my girlfriend and now I have very little money left in the bank.

How can I convince my father to help me purchase a car? — Need Transportation, via email

NEED TRANSPORTATION: Your best bet at this point would be to prove to your father that you're going to be immediately serious about budgeting your resources.

Start by calculating how much money you can put into the bank each month, and begin doing so immediately. After two such deposits, sit down with your father and show him your new plan. Tell him that you'll stick with this plan going forward and that you would truly appreciate his assistance in backing you up.

And when it comes to your girlfriend and paying for your dates, you need to implement a budget there as well. Find less expensive ways to date, and make your large expenditures more infrequent and only for truly important occasions like birthdays and anniversaries.

Look at your situation as an opportunity to learn the important task of creating and sticking to a budget. Don't be afraid to sit down with your father and help him work together with you to create a budget you feel you can stick with. Having your father involved in the process may lead to him being more amenable to helping you achieve your goal.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND

DR. WALLACE: I live with my mother and I'm a 15-year-old boy who is an only child. My father lives over 2,000 miles away and he's now a resident of Canada, since his job is there.

My dad remarried over four years ago, and he and his new wife already have two babies, so he's pretty busy these days. In fact, he does not communicate with my mom and me at all. It's been over two years since I heard from him, plus he has stopped mailing me birthday cards for my last two birthdays. So now, I basically figure I only have a mother but no father.

The good thing is that my mom is a great mother. She loves me a lot and she treats me really well. For the past two years, Mom and I have had a mentality that "it's us against the world," and we've done really well sticking together and working hard to keep our home nice. Mom works two jobs, and I also mow some neighborhood lawns on weekends to make extra money for us.

But recently, Mom started dating again and she's spending time with a guy that I don't really trust. This guy is about seven or eight years younger than my mother and he drinks and smokes all the time. He even gets drunk at our home on weekends. I've never seen him without noticing the strong stench of alcohol on his breath. He's never harmed me or even spoken to me at all, but sometimes when he's really drunk, he will yell loudly at my mom. I even saw him shove her once, but he did not hit her. He did get right up in her face and kept on yelling for something like a full 45 seconds about what was making him mad. It was beyond uncomfortable for me to hear.

I know my mom has a right to date whoever she wants, but I fear this guy is trouble and things will end badly if she does not exit this relationship soon. Since my father is a zero and out of the picture, who can I talk to about this? Is there anyone who could talk to my mom to get her to notice that this guy is not good for her? — A Worried Son, via email

A WORRIED SON: You are correct in stating that your mother has the right to date whoever she chooses to, but at the same time she is also responsible for you, her minor son, to be sure you are kept safe and well.

Since this man has not done anything specific to harm you thus far, there is little you can do other than to speak carefully and respectfully to your mother to voice your opinion to her. Tell her how you felt when this guy was yelling at her and let her know you saw him shove her. That kind of physical action is unacceptable and could lead to further physical violence. If things continue to go on in this present direction, you should contact an aunt, uncle, grandparent or any trusted parent who is a friend to your family. Seek to find someone who might be willing to speak with your mother about the current situation.

You can also contact your school administration about this matter, but be sure to be completely truthful in that this man has not done anything to you yet at all but that you currently fear for your mother, and also in the future possibly for yourself as well. It's important to create awareness about this situation now so that a neutral third-party adult can intervene soon and at least speak directly to your mother about this situation.

And when you do speak to your mom first, tell her that you love her very much and you are concerned for her welfare. Give her a hug and tell her that keeping her safe is very, very important to you. This may help awaken her to notice how her relationship is truly impacting you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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