DR. WALLACE: Last week, we had our football banquet in our high school cafeteria. One of the assistant coaches brought in a few cans of beer and drank them with his meal. He also gave a few sips to a couple of the team members. One of the parents called the school the next day complaining that her son was one of the players given beer. She is demanding to speak with the school administration, and she insisted that our football coach should be fired.
This coach is a very popular teacher (physical education) and a great coach. Do you think that he should be fired, or do you think (like most of the players) that he should be warned never to do that again but be allowed to remain as a coach? Everybody is entitled to make a mistake one time, right? No one is perfect. Our entire school and the local community are in an uproar over this matter, and it seems everybody has an opinion on what should be done. It would be sad if our teacher loses his job over this one small incident. — Surprised and Sad, via email
SURPRISED: This teacher who also coaches underage students brought beer onto the campus (error No. 1), consumed it in front of students (error No. 2) and openly provided it to some of the football players (error No. 3), so he should be released as both a coach and teacher. This man showed extremely poor judgment. Teachers are supposed to set an example for students, not contaminate them. It is indeed surprising and sad, as you mentioned, but there are lines that should never be crossed when it comes to education, and this man crossed three.
IT WAS A "CON JOB"
DR. WALLACE: You stated that hot black coffee would not help a drunken person to recover rapidly — WRONG! My boyfriend and I went to a wedding party at which he got drunk and wasn't able to drive his car. I went straight to a fast-food restaurant with a friend and got a piping hot black coffee for him. My boyfriend drank all of it, and within 20 minutes, he was 100 percent sober. I don't know how many alcoholic drinks he actually consumed that night because I was talking with a lot of my friends, but I know he had too much to drink. — Anonymous, Austin, Texas
ANONYMOUS: Your boyfriend was not drunk. He was giving you a "con job" for whatever reason.
Simply stated, there are no remedies for sobering up quickly — none whatsoever! Hot black coffee, cold showers, walking briskly for 10 minutes and other make-believe remedies are totally ineffective and a complete waste of time and effort.
Time, specifically the passage of time, is the only "remedy" for intoxication. It takes the body about an hour to get rid of the effects of one alcoholic drink (one can of beer, 6 ounces of wine, 1 ounce of hard liquor). If your boyfriend had consumed four or five drinks, as you likely believe, it would have taken him much longer than 20 minutes to become sober.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.