DR. WALLACE: I'm writing in regard to the advice you recently offered a boy. (I had advised the boy to defend himself from a bully who was using him as a punching bag.) I was disheartened that you suggested that he fight back.

I am a prevention coordinator in California and work with this issue. There are many other solutions this guy could choose from to resolve the problem, rather than stoop to the level of mentality as the bully.

The United States is the most violent country on earth. It leads the world in assaults, rapes and homicides, with at least three killings every hour. This is equal to more than 25,000 homicides a year, or half the number of U.S. deaths in the entire Vietnam War. Is this how we want our world to continue to be for our children?

Please reconsider your response to him. He needs to know he can walk away and while doing so remind himself of his positive qualities. Another option is to have his friends stick up for him in front of the bully. He can also laugh along with the bully. It takes the fun out of teasing when the person being teased doesn't seem bothered by it.

If he needed further help or ideas, he could go to his school counselor or another counselor for advice. He needs to know he doesn't need to fight with this bully. It can be very frightening and intimidating to have to confront the bully.

The boy also said that he does not believe in violence. Please do not encourage him to do something he doesn't believe in. Please do not encourage youth to resort to violence as a way to solve their problems. We need to work together to end violence, not to encourage it. — Coordinator, San Diego, Calif.

COORDINATOR: My first teaching position was at Hiawatha High School in Kirkland, Illinois, many years ago, and I have been involved with teens ever since. I, too, deplore violence in any form.

What you fail to recognize in this instance is that the boy had been the victim of daily violence at the hands of the bully. He wrote that he has huge bruises on his arms and shoulders and the bully continued to punch him even though he followed his grandmother's advice to "turn the other cheek."

The bully's mother was contacted and she said that this boy deserved what he was getting because, as her son said, he had sworn at him. The boy denies this, and his last sentence was, "Do you think the time has come to defend myself?"

Indeed, I thought that time had come. One punch to the jaw by him could end all the violence he had been subjected to. Since the boys in question went to different schools, a school counselor would be limited to the degree the school could offer assistance. The bully's mother was contacted and she was worse than useless. I felt the best solution was plain old self-defense.

I agree that fighting back is not always the best way to stop from being bullied and that alternative methods are often more efficient, but I hardly would place this boy in the same category as a violent criminal. In his case, his actions were going to prevent violence that had been happening for quite some time.

Thanks for writing. I do appreciate and respect your point of view and you could be right.

Readers, if you have strong feelings on this subject, please write or e-mail me. I'll devote another column to this subject in the near future.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.