DR. WALLACE: I'm 19, married, and the mother of a seven-month-old daughter. My husband and I are blessed to have a beautiful happy baby. I was 17 and my husband was 18 when we were married two weeks after we graduated from high school. We had been going together for three years. We were the exception rather than the rule. Both my husband and I were virgins when we were married.

I'm really troubled about the wanton sex that abounds on television and in the movies, especially the sexual aggressiveness of the girls and young women. It seems like "everyone is doing it," but common sense tells me that shocking sexual displays are seen mostly on the screen. Common decency doesn't make money.

I want my daughter to grow up with a pure heart and a love for life. What can I do to ensure that my daughter chooses to wait until marriage before becoming sexually active? I would die a million deaths if my daughter used sex to secure or keep a boyfriend. — Mother, Sulphur, La.

MOTHER: There is a strong correlation between poor self-esteem and how early kids get sexually involved. Children who are loved and respected by their parents and have an honest, open relationship with mom and dad are much less apt to be sexually active than those of parents who feel their children are a burden that prohibits their way of life. High self-esteem with teens can also be a deterrent for other undesirable qualities, including drugs, alcohol and deviant social behavior. Nobody said it was easy to be an effective parent, but parents are the best role models for their children. Children do what they see and learn at home.

SCHOOL DANCES ARE WELL-CHAPERONED

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and an excellent student and the eldest daughter of what people think of as the "perfect family." I have never done anything to break the trust that my parents have in me. Still, I'm not allowed to go to the malls with my friends unless one of my parents goes along.

Recently, a very nice boy invited me to be his date at his homecoming dance. I really would like to go, but my dad said no and proceeded to lecture me on how I'm too young and immature to be attending formal dances. He did say that I could attend the school prom when I am in the 12th grade. I've tried reasoning with dad and even invited him to meet this boy, but the answer is still the same — no. I love my dad dearly, but I totally disagree with his philosophy. What can I do to change his mind? I've never been on a date. — Nameless, Kansas City, Mo.

NAMELESS: Stubborn dads have difficult times changing their minds, especially when it concerns their daughters wanting to go out on a date. I doubt if anything can be done to change his mind for the homecoming dance. But it's time to have a family discussion on when you will be able to start dating.

Since your maturity level appears to be excellent, age 15 is an ideal age to attend a homecoming dance with a boy. Homecoming school dances are rarely, if ever, formal. School dances are chaperoned and would be an excellent place to have your first date. I hope it's not too late for dad to reconsider.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.