DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have been dating for almost a year. The guy I'm seeing now is loads of fun, and we have great times together. I have been trying to get my sister, who is 17 and never been on a date, to start dating so we can double date and include her in the fun. It would work out perfectly because we could fix her up with my boyfriend's cousin who is also a nice guy and fun to be with. I've suggested this several times, but she always says, "no, thanks."
What can I do to get her to spend a little time away from her books and sports? She is attractive and a really good softball and volleyball player. — Nameless, Anaheim, Calif.
NAMELESS: When the time comes that your sister wants to do more than read books and play sports, you will be one of the first to know. Until then, there is nothing you can do to hasten her social life.
HE DUMPED HIMSELF
DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend is a jerk. He says he loves me, but never spends much time with me. He recently joined the Navy and was sent to Great Lakes, Ill., for training. He wrote to me every day confessing his love for me and asking me to write to him every day, so I did.
Then, last week he came home on a two-week leave before being sent to San Diego. He had written that he would get to see me every day when he was home, but since he's been home I've seen him only once for about ten minutes. The rest of his time he spent with his buddies.
Something tells me I'm no longer his girlfriend, and I'll tell him that if I ever see him again. Do you think it is wrong for me to dump a guy who's in the service? — Nameless, Lake Charles, La.
NAMELESS: You will be doing the right thing when you tell him goodbye, good luck and smooth sailing. You didn't dump him. He dumped himself.
THE CREDIT IS ALL YOURS
DR. WALLACE: I'm writing to thank you for your excellent advice. You told a girl who had only two friends, who smoked, drank and treated her like dirt, to get rid of them and to join school clubs and activities to make new friends. This girl had low self-esteem and thought that if she stopped hanging around with these other two girls she wouldn't have any friends at all.
I was in the same situation. I had three "friends" who smoked pot and drank all kinds of alcohol. They also enjoyed shoplifting from department stores. I hung around these girls because they were the only school friends I had. Then, one day, they said they wanted me to act as a lookout while they went on a shoplifting spree.
It was at that moment that your advice to the other girl kicked in. I told them I no longer wanted to hang around with them and that they shouldn't call me anymore. Then I tried out for girls' basketball and made the team. I also joined the theater club and have made many good friends. I really enjoy my new life with my new friends. Thanks very much for helping us teens. — Nameless, Atlantic City, N.J.
NAMELESS: I always enjoy hearing from teens who have made positive changes in their lives. I made the suggestion; you made it happen. The credit is all yours!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.