DR. WALLACE: I made the mistake of saying, "we'll see," and now I've got a sex fiend for a boyfriend. I'm 17 and my boyfriend turned 18 three weeks ago. We have been together for over eight months. A month before his birthday, I asked him what gift he wanted and he said sex. Since he had never been aggressive and he knew I was a virgin, I was surprised at his request. When he said he wanted sex (from me) for his birthday, I said, "we'll see." Well, that was a mistake because he took "we'll see" to mean yes.

Now all of our dates wind up in wrestling matches and yesterday he got upset and called me a liar for not giving him his "present." I care for this guy, but I'm not going to give him his birthday wish. What should I do? I don't want to lose him. — Nameless, Indianapolis, Ind.

NAMELESS: Your boyfriend must learn that no means no. The only way to say this effectively is to mean it — that is, to be willing to tell him to hit the road if he insists on turning your dates into wrestling matches.

If he truly cares for you, he will respect your wishes. There's no guarantee you won't lose him by remaining true to yourself, but if he only wants you for sex, it wouldn't be much of a loss.

Forget about saying, "we'll see" when you really mean "no." When I was a young boy and I asked my mother if I could do something or go somewhere and she replied, "we'll see," I always got what I asked for.

YOU ARE A WISE YOUNG LADY

DR. WALLACE: I am responding to the guy from Denver who was a football player and complained that the band members at his school also get a school letter that is equal to that for a varsity athlete letter, and all they do is "toot a horn." The guy went on to say that band members who would wear their letter on a sweater to school should be embarrassed because all letter-winning athletes would laugh at them.

I am a friend of several students at my school who, as band members, do more than just "toot a horn." They practice before school, after school and during summer break. I happen to be a varsity athlete letter winner (girl's basketball) and I'm proud to say my boyfriend "toots a horn" (trumpet) in our award-winning marching band and, yes, he has earned his varsity letter and proudly wears it on his letter jacket.

I don't understand why most male high school athletes think that only they should be letter winners. When it comes to the band, many athletes think the only thing bands do is play at halftime during football games. I believe that all students who participate in school-sponsored activities and practice before or after school deserve to be letter winners, and this includes all students in drama, choir and debate. — Jodi, Houston, Tex.

JODI: You are a wise young lady, and I agree with you 100 percent. The more time students can be rewarded for excellence in extra-curricular, school-sponsored activities, the better! I say this as a former high school and college letter-winner in athletics, and as a former varsity basketball coach and high school principal.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com