DR. WALLACE: My son is a newly minted 13-year-old, and he's very proud to be a teenager at long last. As his mother, I always want the best for him, but I'll admit it's quite an adjustment seeing him at this particular age as he's starting to mature right before my eyes.

However, he has one trait that has carried over from his childhood and I'm having difficulties figuring out how to wean him off of it. When he locks onto something that he wants or that he would like to try, it always has to be right away! He wants it sooner rather than later and he's in a big rush to go after whatever is foremost in his mind. I should also mention that he goes through a lot of items like this very quickly and interchangeably, and only occasionally sticks with something for the long run that he was in a rush to start in the beginning.

And if this wasn't enough, he will also curse (the mild ones) or lightly sob occasionally in an effort to get his way. He's not necessarily asking for things that are completely out of bounds or things that I would never allow him to try or do, but it's more in the way that he's in a rush to do everything and it must be started immediately that has me concerned. — My Growing Son Is in a Rush, via email

MY GROWING SON IS IN A RUSH: Sit down and explain to him that he's now a teenager, and it's time to not only act more maturely, but to think more like a teenager who will gradually turn into a young adult.

Explain that teens and adults don't always get to try everything they want immediately and they usually have to plan their time and do some work and research before they can move forward. Have him work toward researching these items in increments ahead of time, but certainly don't turn them into a term paper or major project or anything like that. Start slowly, and focus on getting him to spend literally five or 10 minutes researching something he wants to do and then ask him to present it to you after he's done enough research to explain his reasoning.

Getting him to slow down and do some research first will also educate him in more ways than one. Yes, he'll learn about each subject, but he'll learn the more valuable lesson of planning and studying something before he dives right into it. This will help him big time later in life!

MY DATING LIFE HAS TAKEN SOME POOR TURNS AFTER HIGH SCHOOL

DR. WALLACE: I'm female, 18 years old, and a high school graduate. I have a part-time job now, live at home and I'm considering going to college part-time, but I haven't made a firm decision about that yet.

My biggest challenge these days is that I'm having a much harder time dating guys I'm interested in now that I'm out of high school than I did when I was a high school student. Back then I knew a lot of the guys at least casually, or was aware of them to some degree, and I had an excellent network of friends at school. I could check with these friends regarding the style, character and reliability of guys at my school before I would go out on dates with them.

But now that I'm meeting guys through my work or in other random ways, I'm increasingly becoming frustrated by the results I've experienced over the past several months. More than once, I've gone on three to five dates with a guy I've met and started to feel like I was getting a grip on what type of character and personality style I was dealing with, only to be sent reeling when something was revealed that was an absolute dealbreaker for me. At least three times I've been absolutely shocked by various revelations that bubbled to the surface, much to my dismay.

Do you think I'm not doing enough due diligence or asking enough questions before I go out on a date with a new guy who has asked me out? Is there something wrong with me? Fortunately, I've only spent a month or less with most of these guys, but I've come out of these brief experiences kind of shaken in terms of my own judgment. What's the best way for me to improve my strategy in this regard? — I've Been Shocked Multiple Times, via email

I'VE BEEN SHOCKED MULTIPLE TIMES: The good news here is experience is a great teacher. Think back on these brief dating experiences from each first date forward in which you were unpleasantly surprised, and see if you can notice in hindsight any subliminal or even overt clues that may have been present at some point along the way.

You definitely seem like the type who would not like to repeat a prior mistake, so looking back carefully and studying what went wrong in the past should help you quite a bit going forward in the future. Another thing you could consider doing is bringing up, in conversation, carefully, to the best of your ability given your ethics and comfort level, the subject or subjects in which those previous dating experiences went awry. Doing so at what you feel is an appropriate juncture may either clear the air or eliminate someone depending upon the response or responses you receive.

I absolutely don't think there's anything wrong with you, as the world is a big, vast place and people have their own styles, morals and preexisting styles that were set in motion long before you came into the picture.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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