DR. WALLACE: I'm a guy who is a sophomore in high school and my best friend is in three of my classes. Both of us like a lot of the same things and it's really cool to have a good friend to enjoy spending time with.

I noticed recently that a couple of times when we were talking together at school during a break, a couple of different girls that I know came up and said hello to me and when it was his turn to talk to them, he started blushing and stammering a lot. I had never seen him do this, so at first, I thought he might've been joking, but then I soon realized he couldn't control this behavior.

It's really strange, because he's quite talkative and easygoing whenever we're doing something together, so I know he can talk perfectly almost all the time. Why do you think that he goes through such physical changes whenever he talks to girls at our high school? He certainly doesn't talk like this to any of the guys that we both know. — He Has Trouble Talking Normally to Girls, via email

HE HAS TROUBLE TALKING NORMALLY TO GIRLS: I think your friend's situation is much more common than you likely realize. And this difficulty he's experiencing cuts both ways, as I know of and have seen many teenage girls face the same difficulty as well.

The best thing to do is to provide him with mild encouragement. Tell him to take a few deep breaths first and exhale slowly before he starts to speak when he's nervous. Also tell him to always have a good question or two and a good answer to normal questions ready to go in his mind ahead of time. Being prepared and knowing what you're going to say, should you find yourself in a situation that would normally lead to this nervousness, can really be a big help. You could even role-play a little bit with your friend and encourage him to actually practice this. I feel this is a better course of action than simply ignoring it and continuing to watch him struggle each time it occurs.

I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE OVERHEARING THIS WORD MY SISTER USED

DR. WALLACE: I'm a senior in high school and the oldest of three girls in our family. My middle sister is a sophomore and I heard her talking on the phone to one of her friends yesterday. They were apparently talking about two sisters who attend their school and she kept constantly referring to them as "the weird sisters," even though she didn't say anything else directly derogatory about them. However, I did absolutely notice she did use the word 'weird' every single time she referred to them.

Apparently, she and her friend find them quite odd and they made it a point to discuss their odd behavior, odd looks, odd clothing and so forth. Overhearing this conversation made me uncomfortable from the viewpoint that I didn't like that they were referring to these girls as "weird." I almost went to her room when she got off the phone to advise her not to use that specific word, but I then happened to think better of it and didn't end up saying anything.

Do you think I should speak up and tell my younger sister to not use that word when referring to other people, as it sounds disrespectful? Part of me wants to provide guidance and a good example for my sister, but another part of me thinks maybe I should just stay out of her business entirely. What do you think I should do, if anything? — I Was Uncomfortable Hearing that Word, via email.

I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE HEARING THAT WORD: I think you're onto something here. The word 'weird' can definitely have derogatory connotations and even implications, so speaking up regarding this sounds like a good idea to me.

Encourage your sister to use a more descriptive word or phrase about these sisters rather than simply labeling them "weird." Tell her to come up with something like 'the two dark-haired sisters' who are always hanging out together or 'the two girls who dress in quite an eclectic way.'

Try to come up with a descriptor that will identify them, but that will cause your sister to use a different method of referring to them. And finally, if she knows one or both of their actual first names, that would actually be the best way of all to refer to them.

Let your sister know that you're not scolding her in any way, but you're simply using your experience to perhaps guide her to a better way of speaking about other people because you want to help. Someone might misunderstand her intentions by hearing that particular word and not fully understand the context or meaning that your sister had in mind when using it previously.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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