DR. WALLACE: Walking home from school yesterday, I saw a group of boys standing together near a cliff that overlooks a road about 100 feet below. They were throwing rocks at the school bus! I was shocked and about to yell something at them when I noticed that my older brother was in the group of seven or eight boys who were there. I actually only saw three of them throwing all the rocks, as the other boys were there but didn't throw anything.

However, before you say anything about my brother being innocent, all the boys, even the ones not throwing the rocks, we're laughing really hard, my brother included.

So I turned around and walked back the way I came around the corner, and now I'm wondering if I should talk to my brother directly about this. He's three years older and might not like me telling him what to do and what not to do, if you know what I mean. He always acts like he's so grown-up and mature, but he's the immature being in a group that throws rocks at the school bus, not me. — My Brother Is Not Mature, via email

MY BROTHER IS NOT MATURE: Absolutely tell your brother what you saw. Tell him that you were not amused, and that he would be lucky if you didn't say anything to anyone else.

Stop there and let him reply. If he truly shows remorse and contrition, you could tell him that he must never do anything like that ever again, and that if he ever does anything similar in the future, you'll not only bring up that event but this one as well. You should also point out that he's very foolish to hang out with guys who are doing that, and that he's just as guilty as they are because he wasn't stopping it and was laughing at what was going on.

However, if you mention this to him and he tries to turn it around on you, or threatens you in any way, then simply let your parents, the bus driver or your school know what's going on. It's beyond dangerous for anyone to throw objects, especially rocks, at a vehicle, whether it's parked or moving. It is especially dangerous to do so from an elevated position, as the force of gravity on the projectile makes the impact potentially quite damaging.

OUR PARENTS HAVE SPLIT AND ARE ACTING OUT

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl in high school, and my parents got divorced at the beginning of the summer. It's been a really rough transition for all of us, especially me and my younger sister.

Our parents obviously didn't think through the situations their divorce would cause for us kids. There have been many things I've noticed from each of our parents that made me uncomfortable on many levels.

One example is, they often talk bad about each other to me, and I don't want to hear that from either of them. What can I do to get our parents to focus? At least a little bit on my sister and me rather than everything they're caught up in with each other? — Not a Pleasant Situation, via email

NOT A PLEASANT SITUATION: I'm sorry to hear the situation you and your sister find yourselves in. You're quite correct that your parents need to redirect their focus to their children rather than make bickering with each other their default priority.

I suggest you and your sister write two handwritten notes that you can give to each parent. In the note, mention that you don't want to be placed in the middle, meaning that you don't want to hear bad things about the other person or be forced to pass any messages between the two of them. Make sure they both know that you girls don't want to take sides.

Tell your parents to ask them regularly how you're doing and what you may need on a daily and weekly basis. Let them know that although you are not yet adults, it is still a loss for each of you, and you're going to be feeling grief in various ways. Tell them that the situation has made both of you anxious, frustrated and worried about the future. Tell your parents that you girls truly need continuity and routines to remain in place, even if they're an adjustment from what routines you previously held. Be sure they understand that chaos is not an acceptable baseline situation that you should have to endure. Tell them both that you hope they work things out amiably with each other, especially for the benefit of their children. Encourage them both to be respectful to each other in your presence.

Delivering a handwritten note for you and your sister, alternating writing out the paragraphs in your own hands, will undoubtedly make an impact on your parents as they receive these identical notes. Sign each note with "We love you," and include your names. From there, do your best to concentrate on your schoolwork, and be sure to keep an eye on your little sister, since she may need your guidance now more than ever before.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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