DR. WALLACE: I'm a single parent and am embarrassed to tell you that I have a smoking addiction. My son is 15 years old, and he is well aware that his mother has been smoking ever since he took his first few steps in life.

Of course, I don't want him to follow in my footsteps, but I did smell cigarette smoke on his breath and clothes when he came in from an evening out with some of his friends. I confronted him at first, and he denied it. I relentlessly persisted in grilling him about this issue, and he finally admitted he was very curious about cigarettes and wanted to see why I was so "caught up in them," as he put it.

I fully realize I don't have any moral high ground to lecture him here, but I simply don't want him to make the same mistake I made by getting hooked on tobacco at a very young age. How can I tactfully steer him away from smoking when I'm a heavily addicted smoker myself? — An Embarrassed Mother, via email

AN EMBARRASSED MOTHER: You probably intuitively know that children of parents who smoke have a much higher propensity to begin smoking than children of parents who don't smoke. I can tell you that statistics clearly show this is true.

Your best bet is to start by explaining to your son how much you love him and how much you want him to make good choices in his life. From there, focus on the short-term negatives regarding smoking. If you simply tell a teenager about the long-term potential negative damage, they may brush it off entirely.

Start by pointing out to him that cigarettes are very expensive, especially these days. Go on to tell him how his clothes will be very smelly, his teeth will yellow, and he'll have perpetually bad breath. No teenager wants to hang out and socialize with others carrying these drawbacks, so focusing him on the here and now gives you your best leverage.

Also set whatever rules you want to have for him going forward and what his punishment will be if you catch him smoking again. When you're done speaking with him, be sure to give him a deep extended hug, and as you do so, whisper into his ear, "I love you and care about you so very much."

MY MOTHER IS SIMPLY A MACHINE

DR. WALLACE: I'm a teenager, and my mom is a complete neat freak and also a perfectionist. She likes to keep our house, her room, the kitchen and anywhere else you can think of organized, clean and perfectly managed at all times. She never allows dishes to build up in the sink, and she cleans and vacuums the house literally every other day.

So a week ago, I asked her why she's such a perfectionist, and she told me, "because it makes life easier." I didn't necessarily agree, but I didn't argue with her. The reason I don't agree is because it seems like her mind is always on everything being perfect around her rather than enjoying her life more.

She does run an immaculate home, and the results of her efforts are easy to see, but I feel she could use some of that time more wisely. If our home was 85% as clean as it is now, nobody would really notice the difference much, and she would have more time to relax and enjoy other things in her life. Is perfectionism the way my mom does it really worth striving for? — My Mom Seeks Perfection, via email

MY MOM SEEKS PERFECTION: Your mother obviously has spent many years — perhaps even decades — fine-tuning her perfect perfection to an art form. She truly enjoys controlling her environment and likes her routine very much.

But the point you made is very valid as well. My advice to you is to absorb as many good habits as you possibly can from your mother's routine but also strive to do your work to an 85% to 90% level when it comes to chores and repetitive tasks so that you're not dedicating as much time as your mother does. Blending these two opposing ideas together will take some finesse, but if you can manage and eventually master your own "unique blend," I trust you'll have an organized and very satisfying life!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Reza Mehrad at Unsplash