DR. WALLACE: My mom is a single mother, and she always wants me to go to the doctor every three months for a checkup! And once a year she wants me to get a full "physical" that includes bloodwork, urine tests, an EKG and many other tests.

I've asked her if I have some kind of disease I don't know about, but she says that I don't and that she just wants to be sure I'm healthy. My father left us almost nine years ago, and I just turned 16. I don't have any brothers or sisters, so it's just mom and me.

She's a good provider as she has a really good job she works hard at. We're always able to buy food and clothes with no problem, so I don't think she's worried that my medical bills will cost too much.

But I'm really curious why she keeps getting me these checkups so often. I have asked around with several of my friends, and none of them have ever had this experience at our young age. Do you think there is something she's not telling me? I don't take any medication, I feel fine, and I'm able to participate in everything, including PE classes at school, with no restrictions. — I Don't Get It, via email

I DON'T GET IT: Based on what your letter mentioned, it does not sound to me like you have any major problems she's withholding from you. The answer could be as simple as she cherishes you very much and wants to be extremely conscientious to take good care of you physically, especially since she's a single parent and you have no siblings. You're her one and only!

Your letter mentioned just the two of you, so it's unclear to me if she has a significant other or at least a social life with anyone her age, but there's no doubt in my mind she's an extremely attentive mother who loves you and cares a great deal about you.

Even though it may be an inconvenience for you to receive so many checkups, perhaps you can mentally write it off to the fact that your mother feels in her own mind that doing this is her best way to protect you. The fact that you have no physical restrictions at school for participation in sports and workouts, and that you don't take any medications, should rightfully ease your mind quite a bit.

I EXPERIENCE SO MANY BROKEN PROMISES

DR. WALLACE: Why do many people, especially my close friends, make and then break so many promises? Yes, they do keep some of them, but there are other promises I've heard that I knew from the moment they were promised were not going to be kept — and indeed they were not.

It seems certain people in my life always want to overly explain some big promise they're going to make to me, and usually the more they talk about it, the less they're inclined to keep it. Why does this seem to happen over and over? I actually have more luck with the one friend of mine who never promises anything but usually only says, "I'll try to make that happen, let me see what I can do. I can't promise you, but I'll try to do it." His percentage of follow-through is something like 80%, and all my other friends are something like 20%-30% of follow-through on their promises to me.

What do you feel accounts for this difference? — Tired of Broken Promises, via email

TIRED OF BROKEN PROMISES: In your case, based on the percentages you've shared with me, I feel you're getting a lot of promises offered to you from friends who know at the time they're making the promise that it's unlikely they can follow through, but they don't want to directly or bluntly tell you this in the first place!

Many people don't like confrontation and don't like letting others down, so they feel that making a promise can satisfy the situation in the moment, even though there will be a broken promise that comes about down the road in the future.

From my point of view, it's all in the mindset. Contrast the mindset of your friends who constantly break promises with the friend who tells you directly that he can't promise a result but will do his best and ends up following through four out of five times for you.

A potential solution for you could be to directly address your other friends at the time they start to make new promises and remind them of their previous track record. Tell them that if they can't do something, it's alright to tell you bad news upfront so that you won't get your hopes up only to be disappointed later. Your letter also did not mention what your own track record is when you make promises to your friends. Do you follow through 80% or 20% of the time whenever you make a promise? Hopefully you set a good example for your friends, but if you similarly have trouble following through most of the time, then work on changing your language to "try, but can't promise" first, then encourage your friends to use similar language as warranted by actual circumstance, not a desire to pacify in the moment.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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