DR. WALLACE: I'm the mother of two boys, one of which is a busy teenager. Our younger son is still in grade school, and this has caused a bit of a problem in our home.

My husband and I are aware that due to their eight-year gap in ages they don't always have much in common. Due to their vast age difference, a dynamic has manifested within our home in which our younger son constantly pesters, teases, taunts and harasses our older son. Our youngest is seeking attention and wants to do the same things his older brother often does, even though several of them are not age-appropriate for our younger son. He acts out when he does not get the attention he wants. Our eldest complains often about this and tells us how much his studies and social life are disrupted by the constant turmoil.

What can we do to get our younger boy to calm down and not spend so much of his time chasing the coattails of his successful older brother? Our eldest is a fine athlete and is an accomplished musician. — Dealing With Their Age Gap, via email

DEALING WITH THEIR AGE GAP: One of the best things you can do in this situation is to try to arrange opportunities for your youngest son to socialize with other children near his age. Be proactive in seeking out playdates and activities that he can enjoy with others of his own age.

Beyond that, as parents you should sit your younger son down and let him know what consequences will exist whenever he persists in engaging in irritating behavior toward his older brother. Explain the rules very clearly to him and do all you can to keep him busy with other activities.

And as for your eldest son, I recommend two things that might help. First, find just one or two activities that he can participate in with his younger brother and schedule regular times for these activities to be enjoyed by both brothers. Perhaps playing catch together with a football or a baseball might be a workable idea. They might also enjoy shooting baskets at home if you have a basketball hoop or they can do this at a local school as well. Seek to find something they can enjoy together and then set a fixed time that your youngest can look forward to. Finally, see if you can find a quiet place for your eldest to find refuge to get his homework done in peace. This might be at your home, or a relative's home or local library so that he can be at peace when he really needs it.

TODAY'S TEENS ARE FINE IN MY BOOK

DR. WALLACE: I'm a grandfather, not a teenager, but I wanted to say hello and let you know that I enjoy reading the questions and answers regarding today's youth in your regular columns.

I feel teenagers today have a more difficult gauntlet to navigate than ever before, given all the technology and social media that currently exists.

Of course, back in my "day" of being a teenager, the world was quite different, even though we had our own unique challenges in those days too.

Too often today's teens are criticized, blamed and considered to be soft in some ways. However, I watch my grandchildren navigate their way, and they and their teen friends seem to be doing pretty darn well given all they're up against here in the 21st Century. Many more teenagers these days are acutely aware of their health, the environment and showing compassion towards others, even their elders! And on top of that, I see that many local teenagers in our community regularly engage in volunteer assistance to various organizations that surely need the support.

Why do you feel today's teens get a bad rap first, rather than being praised for all the good things they do well? — Grandfather Proud of Today's Teens, via email

GRANDFATHER PROUD OF TODAY'S TEENS: I second your sentiments! Indeed, today's teenagers must simultaneously deal with many more disparate issues than did those who came before them.

I feel the reason that there is more criticism than praise is due to the sensationalistic nature of criticism when compared to the milder and less controversial nature of routine good behavior. It's also easier for most people, the media included, to dole out complaints instead of compliments. Complaints usually draw much more attention, and therefore, "clicks."

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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