DR. WALLACE: I have been dating my current boyfriend for six months now. In my opinion, he is an outstanding person — responsible, intelligent, hardworking and quite family oriented.

In the past I've had several fleeting relationships that did not end up working out too well. This man is the first person who has truly been loving and caring and treated me with the respect I feel I have always deserved. You might even say that I'm beginning to feel that destiny brought us together. We are both college students; I'm 19 and he's 20. I already know that I would like to be married to him someday soon, whenever the time is right for both of us.

The best part of our relationship is that it is so easy and comfortable. We get along tremendously well, and each of our families truly likes the other person very much.

Things have gone so well, and my future with this guy looks so bright, that a bit of doubt and worry is starting to crop up in the back of my mind. It's almost as if everything has gone too well! Do you feel I should proceed cautiously because of my new, lingering doubts, or throw caution to the wind and just assume things will work out well for the two of us? — I Feel Very Lucky So Far, via email

I FEEL VERY LUCKY SO FAR: I would not focus on nor pay attention to the "lingering doubts" that you mention you've recently experienced. It's truly counterproductive to focus on worrying about what could potentially go wrong when at present all is well — and there is no rational reason for you to feel otherwise.

I similarly advise you to not simply "assume things will work out" between the two of you. Realize that I'm not saying things won't work out at all, but instead cautioning you not to simply put your relationship on "cruise control" and assume it will flourish automatically just because it has done so thus far.

Instead, I advise you to continue to make efforts to continue to be a good partner to your boyfriend and to encourage him to do the same for you. Relationships take work, honesty, commitment and compromise to remain strong, deep and cherished.

I'd say that the two of you are off to a great start, but six months is a small, incremental measure of time compared with the roughly half-dozen decades you two could potentially enjoy together. Stay in the moment and take measures to not take your great relationship for granted. Do dismiss any doubts in the back of your mind by knowing that you will remain proactive and intend to do all you can to keep this excellent relationship going in the direction you are wishing for it.

SHOULD I MEET WITH MY MOM?

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl and I live with my grandmother. My grandma is like my mom, and she's even legally my guardian since she got that formalized years ago when I was under 5 years old. I've been with grandma since I was under 2 years old because my mother was only 17 herself when I was born. My mom soon thereafter had several personal problems, so she gave me up.

I usually only see my mom once or twice a year, so we really don't have much of a relationship. My grandma and my mom are estranged, so I only see my mom away from my home when I do see her. The last time was around Christmas at a local mall.

My mom has had a lot of boyfriends and she's lived with some of them from what I understand. She was never married back when I was born, and she's always been single throughout my life.

Well, she called me last weekend and told me that she just got married! She said she met a great man in her rehabilitation and treatment center and that they both want to meet me sometime soon for a home-cooked meal at their home. I was stunned!

Now I'm worried about what to do. My grandma won't want to go over there, but I could maybe go by myself if grandma is all right with that. But I'm still apprehensive about this. Do you think I should go to meet my new stepfather and have dinner with my mom and him? — Unsure About This, via email

UNSURE ABOUT THIS: The good news is that you and your mother are not technically estranged, as it's more that you are strangers than anything else.

I don't think staying away from her and her new husband benefits you in any way at this point, since you currently have a safe and loving home to return to no matter how the dinner goes. At best, it might be a comfortable dinner and you may find that your mother is in the process of making some important personal changes.

And even if the dinner does not go so well from your point of view, you'll have left the door open to meeting again sometime in the future. You'll also get at least some impression about how your mom is doing these days and you'll be able to note her husband's personality and make your own assessment of how reliable you feel he may be.

As you grow into an adult you may be more at peace to at least have a mild, friendly relationship with your mother than to stay away from her entirely. As long as her behavior does not cause you any concerns or personal consternation, I think it's fine for you to accept this invitation and keep an open mind going into it.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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