DR. WALLACE: I read in your column that a dermatologist told you that no suntan is good for the recipient. That might be true, but every girl I know thinks a tan makes a girl look more attractive and makes her look healthy.

Who wants to look like a bland bedsheet? I want to look tan as a 17-year-old girl. I really don't care that, when I'm 50, I'll have a few more wrinkles here and there. I actually have a girlfriend who is an albino, and she uses a type of tanning spray that comes in a can. I guess she is trying to look like a bronze goddess, but it just doesn't ever seem to look natural to me. Of course, I never say anything to her, nor do I criticize how the spray tan looks. I figure she already has it hard enough with her pinkish eyes and her aversion to sunshine. I truly feel for her, but there's little I can do to help her!

You give good advice on some things, but it seems to me that you are "out to lunch" when it comes to advice on tanning.

It could be that looking healthy is a girl thing, so if that might be correct, then I fully forgive you. — Tanned, Rested and Ready, via email

TANNED, RESTED AND READY: When it comes to this particular health issue, I can only give you the facts from dermatologists who I've met on several occasions who've given me valuable information and advice. When the sun or a tanning booth changes the pigment in a person's skin to a darker color, damage has been caused.

It's up to each reader to decide what's best for their individual lives, but I do feel much better now that you have forgiven me. Thank you very much for that. Also, please remember to lather generously with an effective sunscreen when you venture out into the sun, and always wear sunglasses to protect your eyes. Finally, please remember that even though we have finished the summer season and are now in the fall, the sun's rays remain dangerous! Yes, the rays are strongest in the summertime, but the sun can and will damage unprotected skin subjected to extended periods of exposure the year round.

I DON'T LIKE SEEING THEM TOGETHER

DR. WALLACE: I love my mother and my father very much, and our family situation is such that they have been divorced for more than two years now. I live with an older brother, a younger sister and my beloved mother. My mom is great, but I don't think she really knows how much this situation is eating away at me and making me feel a bit depressed at times.

My problem is that my mother has started dating, and I can't seem to cope with this! And I don't mean that it just makes me feel uncomfortable; I mean I get totally freaked out! I get sick to my stomach because I really don't like to see her with another man. It's gross! Even though he might be a nice man (and he has been polite and friendly toward me,) I find myself not liking him simply because he is not my dad. I kind of know, deep down, that this might be a little irrational, but it is what it is. This is truly how I feel. What should I do now? — Depressed by Mom's Dates, via email

DEPRESSED BY MOM'S DATES: Many women are confused and hurt when a divorced mother they are living with starts dating again. Yet every mother has the full right to begin a new social life, and experts agree that there is no reason her teenage daughter must accept the guy mom chooses to begin dating.

Oftentimes it's best when a mother doesn't make a big deal about dating and gives her daughter a chance to adjust to the realization that we're all sexual beings. Of course, some mothers have teenagers who are able to handle this situation better than others. It's usually best for a teen who is unhappy about his or her mother's dating situation to not be afraid to speak up. This applies to your situation, so ask your mother to spend some quiet time alone with you to discuss this matter in more detail when the timing is right for each of you.

And once you've brought up the subject, don't back away from telling your mother how you really feel. If the situation doesn't improve, seek out people who can support you during rough times. Find out about self-help groups for children of divorced parents at your school or church.

Above all, realize that coming to terms with this new situation will take time, as long as 12 to 18 months in some cases. The key is to communicate and ask for your personal feelings to be taken into consideration when your mother and her new boyfriend are in your presence. Since your mother obviously loves and cares for you, I trust she can and will make small adjustments that can make you feel a bit better — or at least not worse.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: marijana1 at Pixabay