DR. WALLACE: I've been dating this guy for over a month. He's cute and could turn out be a super nice guy for me, but for one irritating flaw: He has sex on the brain all day, every day. He talks about sex, tells sexy jokes, takes me to movies that contain a lot of sexual scenes and, worst of all, he is sexually aggressive with his roving hands that I always have to push away, even after I've said no multiple times. It seems that every one of our dates together ends up with me defending my honor, and it's so tiring. But when we walk the halls of our school together, I notice all of the other girls looking at us with jealous glances.
Is there any kind of pill or something that he can take that will make him cool down a bit? He is so good-looking that I hate to give up on him, but his actions are very repetitive and irritating. Is there any hope that we can have a civil and peaceful relationship? I'm only 16, and I've told him dozens of times that I don't want to be involved in a physical relationship at this point in my life. It's not my style to yell or be mean, so right now I don't know what else to do or tell him. I'm a good girl who is normally quiet and reliable. — Gracious Girl, via email
GRACIOUS GIRL: The only pill I can think of to slow him down is a potent sleeping pill, but that is not applicable for your situation. You've said that you don't want to dump this young man because you find him cute. That's a huge mistake on your part. What matters most about a person is character, not appearance. Your experiences with this "cute" jerk make this point far more strongly than any lecture ever could.
Unload this "Romeo" immediately. Do not allow him to have one more chance. You have already given him more chances than he deserves. There is a guy out there for you that will treat you with respect. My advice is to start keeping an eye out for such a young man because when you find him, you'll find a much higher level of happiness and comfort in your dating life.
BIRDS OF A FEATHER DON'T ALWAYS SMOKE TOGETHER
DR. WALLACE: I disagree with your statement that nonsmoking teens who hang out with friends who smoke eventually take up smoking — or at least try it out for a while. I'm living proof that what you said is not always true. I am a 17-year-old young lady. I have three very close friends who are serious smokers, but I have never, ever smoked even one cigarette, and guess what? Not one of these friends has ever enticed me to partake in their smoking frenzy.
Your "birds of a feather flock together" axiom isn't always applicable. — Smoke-Free in Tennessee
SMOKE-FREE: I still subscribe to the "birds of a feather" theory but will admit that sometimes an "odd duck" joins the flock and is fully accepted. Good for you! You are a very wise young lady for not smoking. Wouldn't it be wonderful if your friends could adopt your nonsmoking lifestyle? Stranger things have happened. It would be great for their health if they could kick this nasty habit.
Interestingly, I have recently received several letters saying that the dangers of vaping have even caused a lot of teen cigarette and marijuana smokers to kick their smoking habits out of a desire to stay healthy and avoid the dangers that smoking of any kind brings. Awareness of the dangers of smoking is currently at an all time high. With all of the tragedies that vaping has recently brought, there has been a small but growing silver lining.
I have great respect for today's teens and young people who take their overall health so seriously. It's great to see young people of all ages eat well, exercise more, smoke less and strive to achieve personal health and wellness. In your particular case, I say congratulations on being a nonsmoker, and keep up the good work!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected] To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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