DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and will be 21 in three months. My boyfriend is 23, and we have been together almost two full years. Things have been going so well between the two of us that I can kind of feel the momentum already building toward him asking me to marry him, which would cause a transition from him being my boyfriend to becoming my fiance.

I definitely love him and could see a nice future together with him, as he has many of the traits I've always been looking for. He's kind, reliable and hardworking, and he communicates really well, which is a big deal to me.

But he has a "skeleton in his closet," and I'm afraid that if it were to become disclosed, it would upset my father tremendously. My father is a successful businessman who works in finance. My boyfriend, when he was 18, started an internet business with a close friend of his, and they were actually able to get a loan from a bank to help launch their project.

Sadly, this project didn't work out, and my boyfriend didn't have the assets to repay the loan in full, so he had to declare bankruptcy, as he was an adult at 18 and half years of age. No one in my family is aware of this, but it could come back to haunt us if someday we wanted to try to buy a small condominium, for example, and we had trouble getting a mortgage.

I can already hear my father's accusatory words ringing in my ears at some future date if this were to happen. I don't want to disclose this to my parents in advance, because it may create an argument that could otherwise have proved to have been unnecessary.

What do you think I should do about this? Is there any way to diffuse this potentially ticking time bomb before it explodes? — He Has a Prior Bankruptcy, via email

HE HAS A PRIOR BANKRUPTCY: The way I see it, any bank that gave a loan to an 18-year-old in the hopes that his internet idea was going to take off is at least partially culpable for the situation. But, by law, your boyfriend indeed took out a loan he could not repay, and he did use bankruptcy as his option to ultimately resolve the situation.

I agree that bringing up the situation in advance at this time, when you aren't even engaged, doesn't make sense. If and when you do become engaged, and marriage is definitely in your future, you can give more thought to this going forward. Your first discussion should be with your boyfriend, who at that point would be your fiance. You might ask him if he would prefer to discuss with your parents in advance of the marriage or not at that time.

If and when you have such a conversation, listen to him carefully, use your best deductive reasoning, and the two of you should be in harmony one way or the other on whether or not you wish to disclose this before you marry. After that point in time, it would be very unwise of your father to create a family argument over something that happened several years ago when your boyfriend was just barely an adult. Hopefully, with more experience now, he lives in an ongoing financially responsible manner.

I'M SO WIMPY ABOUT FOOD THAT I'M THINKING OF CANCELING THE OUTING

DR. WALLACE: My steady boyfriend is a fellow college student, and we've been getting decidedly more serious as the months have been rolling by. He sure knows how to treat a lady, and it's been a joy to spend time with him given how thoughtful he is and how easy he is to talk to.

He came to me recently and said that he wanted to take me over to meet his parents on his father's birthday, which is in about three weeks. He said that his mother is going to prepare a very special dish of baba ghanoush for him. My concern is, whereas I love my Armenian boyfriend, I'm not 100% sure I can handle Armenian food, especially baba ghanoush!

I grew up in a very bland household when it came to foods, spices and so forth. Would it be better for me to try to cancel this outing, or is there a strategy I could employ that would help me to pass myself in this situation? — I Have a Nervous Food Palate, via email

I HAVE A NERVOUS FOOD PALATE: Do your utmost to not cancel the outing simply because you're going to be presented with food you're not used to.

Plan in advance to sample a few bites of different types of food, and cross your fingers that you actually may like some of them enough to relax and enjoy them! But if you find yourself struggling, you can definitely pass yourself by eating small amounts of a variety of things, then eating a little extra of the one you can handle the best.

Before you attend this event, don't eat that morning, and be sure you arrive extremely hungry! This will absolutely help you to be able to eat the food much easier. Also, take small sips of water, iced tea or whatever your beverage will be to "wash down" bites of food that you might struggle to chew and taste fully after the first bite of a dish is difficult for you. Think of it as the same reflex you would use when you have to take a rather large pill if you're on a particular prescription medicine that your doctor gave you.

Now these strategies are absolutely designed for a worst-case scenario, but I trust you won't be in a worst-case situation, as I think you will be able to enjoy some of these foods much more than think at this point.

So, make up your mind in advance that you're going to give them a try. The particular dish they are serving for his father is centered around roasted eggplant, garlic, olive oil and lemon juice. These are solid, ordinary ingredients that I trust you will be able to handle and, better yet, perhaps enjoy thoroughly!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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