DR. WALLACE: I'm a college student, and for the past year and a half, I've had this platonic friend who has a habit of fiercely defending me. We are each the opposite gender, and never once has this friend made any type of move toward me, nor asked me out, nor done anything other than be friendly and defend me 100% of the time. We met through mutual friends at a weekend outing and did spend a lot of time talking that first weekend when we first met.

For a long time, I kind of assumed in the back of my mind that this friend was fiercely defending me because of the possibility of dating me later, but even though I've been in and out of a couple of relationships this friend has known about, nothing ever took place in that regard.

Why do you think someone would make it such a point of looking out for me if there was no ulterior motive involved? — My Friend Fiercely Defends Me, via email

MY FRIEND FIERCELY DEFENDS ME: My hunch is that from the very beginning, this friend truly liked and respected you, and related to your personality and your style. Along the way, things reconfirmed this, and as an overt action of friendship, the fierceness in defending you organically boiled to the surface.

It could also be that shortly after meeting you, or even perhaps that weekend, this person may have overheard others talking about you in a way that was less than accurate or reasonable. Something like that would certainly explain the fierce defense.

Think back in time the best you can to come up with the first instance of being fiercely defended by this person, and think about what context it took place in. Coming up with the details and going over them carefully for that very first time the defense manifested itself may provide you excellent insight into the origin of this behavior. And as long as this friend has otherwise been normal and compatible, you should consider yourself quite fortunate to have such a good platonic friend who always has your back at a moment's notice. Many people would love to have such a friend in their lives.

I FEAR PUBLIC SPEAKING BUT DON'T WANT TO LET HER DOWN

DR. WALLACE: I'm definitely a shy female, and I've been asked to speak at a very close friend's wedding that is drawing nearer by the day. Right now it's about six weeks away, and I've definitely been procrastinating even starting to think about what I would need to say at this event.

I definitely have a fear of public speaking, and I don't look forward to this at all, as I feel a growing sense of pressure building. I don't want to let her down by canceling my opportunity to speak, but I'm not sure how I would even begin to figure out what to say here. It's her big day, and I feel pressure to get this right. — Public Speaking Is Not My Thing, via email

PUBLIC SPEAKING IS NOT MY THING: Try your best to put yourself in the mental frame of mind that you'll only be speaking directly to your friend, not to everyone else gathered there for the wedding.

Plan in advance to look directly at her while you're delivering your speech, as this will help you tremendously. Say it to her as a friend, not as a public speech that you are giving to a multitude of guests.

Think of a story or two that demonstrates your friendship and encapsulates who she is as a person and why she's so wonderful. Talking about a couple of quick but meaningful and poignant experiences that the two of you shared will help you to relax and get through this much better than if you try to write some sort of a "canned" speech that you may find much more difficult to deliver.

Practice this speech a few times over the next week, and get really comfortable telling these two stories in a succinct yet meaningful way. Remember, at a wedding you don't need to speak for five or 10 minutes. Just a minute or two is more than enough. It's more about what you say and how heartfelt it is than how long you speak. I trust that if you can relate a couple of meaningful stories, the audience will gain insight into the bride in ways that will endear her to them even further, and you will be the important catalyst to make that happen.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Hannah Cook at Unsplash