DR. WALLACE: I'm 16, and my best girlfriend and I have been super close friends for the past five years. We do a lot of things together and always get along great with each other. Our values and perspectives overlap about 90% of the time, and usually when something falls into the 10% on her side or mine, we work through it without it being a big deal at all between us.

But this past weekend, she did something on her 10% that has me really worried. I noticed her hanging out with some other kids because I was told where to find her, and as I was approaching the area, I noticed they were all vaping together! They were passing the vape device back and forth, and I watched carefully and saw that each and every one of the six kids, all of whom go to our school, took turns vaping several times.

I never said anything or showed myself to them, so nobody knew I was there. Once they left and got far enough away from me, I walked down toward the area where they were vaping, and I could absolutely smell marijuana smoke!

She and I have discussed drugs, marijuana and alcohol before, and we both agreed it's something we don't want to do. Now I've seen her actually do this, and I'm concerned for her health and safety. I don't want to turn her into her parents, but I am a good friend of her older brother. He's 18 and really hardcore against using drugs, cigarettes, alcohol or any substance of any kind. Do you think I should say something directly to her parents, her brother or her directly? Or should I not say anything to anyone? — Shocked at What I Saw, via email

SHOCKED AT WHAT I SAW: Speak to your friend about it first and give her a chance to explain herself to you. This way you'll get a chance to see if she is going to try to deny it or if she will confess to you. From there, you'll have to evaluate whether or not you feel she's going to do this again. If you later find out that she's persisting with this behavior despite telling you otherwise, you'd be perfectly within the bounds of reason to tell her brother directly what you witnessed and how you tried to intervene.

At 18, he's also an adult now, even if he's a young adult. The fact that he is against all these things may give him an excellent perspective to sit her down and discuss the matter with her — or her parents. I know you care about your friend and want to do what's best for her overall. Saying nothing does not help her in any way.

I DON'T WANT TO EVER BE NEAR HIM AGAIN

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 16, and the neighbors across the street have two kids who also attend our high school. The older brother is 17, and the younger one is 14.

For many years, these boys, my brother and I have all been good friends, and our parents know each other really well. He always treated me with respect over the years, but now that we're both older, he's starting to say some inappropriate things to me.

For example, he told me a week ago that his birthday was going to be in three weeks, and I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. I can't repeat his answer to you because it was an unsavory comment about the two of us. I was really shocked and told him that was beyond inappropriate, but he just laughed.

Now I don't want to speak to him any longer, nor do I want to go to any of his family's backyard barbecues that they occasionally invite our family to. I'm worried that the next time this happens — because it happens about once a month — I'll need an excuse so that I can avoid going over there. What do you feel would be the best way for me to excuse myself when this time comes? — Uncomfortable Being Around Him, via email

UNCOMFORTABLE BEING AROUND HIM: My feeling is that you shouldn't wait until his family invites your family to a backyard barbecue. Unfortunately for you, this family is likely to be living in that home for a while, and your family is likely to stay put as well. This means that for the next two years of high school and maybe longer, you'll be living directly across the street from this inappropriate, unsavory individual.

Your best bet here is to inform your parents of exactly what happened. Explain what he said and how you felt about it, then go on to state that you don't want to be put into any social situations with him ever again.

By doing this, you'll resolve the matter once and for all, as I trust your parents will protect you and keep you away from him. Furthermore, they are also extremely likely to speak directly to his parents or to him to get the message across that his behavior is beyond unacceptable and is never, ever to be repeated.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Nery Zarate at Unsplash