DR. WALLACE: I'm an experienced high school teacher and have been on the job for 15 years now. I'm well liked in our community and well respected by parents, school administrators, and my fellow teaching colleagues.

However, I picked up a really bad habit this summer. I started dating a guy who is really into smoking cigars and cigarettes, and we spent a lot of time in cigar rooms and hanging around different venues where he smoked continually. One thing led to another, and I started not only smoking cigars with him, but cigarettes, too.

Now I'm hooked on cigarettes! My whole community knows me as a non-smoker, and each day I show up at my school I have the dreadful fear of being found out as a smoker. I'm constantly chewing gum and breath mints to try to hide my new habit.

The sad thing is that my new beau has many wonderful traits and so much in common with me, but unfortunately his one bad habit has stuck to me. Is there anything I can do about this? — A Teacher With a Secret, via email

A TEACHER WITH A SECRET: Since you only recently began smoking, you've likely not done too much damage to your body and your chances of quitting smoking should be meaningfully higher than those who have been smoking for many years or decades.

Do your research on this topic. Go online and find out which strategy you feel will be the most compatible one for you to effectively kick this habit.

And if you really want to quit, don't attend cigar rooms or other venues that will be thick with smoke that you'll be breathing in for several hours at a time.

Have your new beau not smoke in your house and ask him to do his best to keep all smoke away from you, even on a secondhand basis.

You might be able to right your ship soon and not be found out if you can actually quit smoking in short order.

But if you now feel you enjoy smoking and you know deep down that you are not going to quit, then stop with the charades, and simply admit that you've started to smoke to your friends, colleagues and the community. It would be better to get out in front of this than for it to be found out serendipitously.

In the end, the choice is yours, and for the record, I recommend that you quit smoking as quickly as you can.

I DREAD ASKING MY DAD

DR. WALLACE: My father is strict and so my siblings and I don't often ask him for much since we don't want to be lectured, or worse, do something that disappoints him. Fortunately for all of us, my mother has the opposite personality and is quite nurturing and understanding.

I'm almost 18 and am a senior in high school, and because I work part time at the job I first obtained in the summer, I really need to have access to one of our family cars a couple days a week. My mother has told me that she's fine loaning me hers, but of course I'll have to run this by my father, and I dread that discussion.

How can I approach him in the best way over this matter? I do have my license and I'm a good, responsible teenager who gets good grades and behaves well in general. — His Oldest Daughter, via email

HIS OLDEST DAUGHTER: The good news for you is that your father already knows that you have a driver's license and are a responsible teenager who attends to her studies and behaves well overall.

So, focus your discussion with him only on the car. Let him know that you will only be using the car to go directly to work and home and that you will not allow other people to ride in the car during these times. Let him know that you will check the tires and oil to make sure it's well maintained, and that you will pay for your own fuel usage out of the earnings from your job. Tell him how much this would mean for you, and ask him if there are any other rules or conditions that he would like you to abide by,

Let him know that your mother is all right with this and tell him that if for any reason either of your parents need that vehicle during your working hours, you will find another way to get to and from work.

The idea is to lay out all the issues to him proactively, so that there will be little else that he will need to cover to make his decision. Good luck, and I hope it works out for you and your family.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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