DR. WALLACE: My mom, my brother and sister and I moved to a new area, and I'll be attending a new high school this fall. Things were going so great for me at my old high school, so I am looking forward to a fresh start here in this new area and at a new school.

However, our family has some dirty laundry that will not be known by any of the people here in this new community we are now living in. Both my father and two of my uncles got involved in some illegal activity back in our other city, and all three of them were arrested and are spending time in prison. With good behavior, it might be possible that my father could be out of prison within two years, but both of my uncles are going to be spending a minimum of five to 10 years in prison. I won't go into the details, but let's just say they conspired to take some things that were not theirs and they did so in a really bad way.

Do you feel it's better for me in this new community to tell everyone all about my father and my uncles right away so that they can get over the shock value more quickly? Or do you feel it would be better to not say anything for a while, and just focus on settling into the new school for now? — My Fresh Start Still Has Past Ghosts Lurking, via email

MY FRESH START STILL HAS PAST GHOSTS LURKING: Moving into a new area and attending a new high school provides more than enough anxiety and stress for most teenagers to deal with. Therefore, I advise you to channel your energies entirely on becoming acquainted with your new school, your teachers and your fellow classmates at this time.

There will be many people you deal with at your school, and you will not know much about their home lives either at this time. I feel that's for the best, and then gradually over time as you get to know people, you can simply say that your father does not live at home with you anymore. You don't need to go into further detail until you are ready to, and feel comfortable enough to tell whoever you wish to at a later date in your own way. And don't forget that your mother may also be a good resource in helping you navigate future discussions about your father's situation when the time comes when you wish to address it with anyone.

And always remember, even though your father made a bad error in judgment, you are living your own life, and you are not to blame for any of his mistakes. Focus on settling into your school, making friends and doing well in your studies for now.

I SAW TOO MUCH AND NOW I'M STUCK!

DR. WALLACE: I'm new to high school and I already witnessed another student cheating on a "pop quiz" that we had in one of my classes the other day. I know exactly what I saw, and I Think anyone else witnessed it except for me.

In addition to that, the cheater did not notice me witnessing it either. Now I feel I'm in the throes of a moral dilemma, because I don't like to be drawn into difficult situations, but I don't like to allow illegal or immoral actions to be swept under the proverbial rug once I know about them. Should I speak up or just let this go this one time? I really don't want to speak to the teacher about this matter so early in the school year, but if I don't, I know my conscience will haunt me over it. I feel stuck either way. — Girl With a Dilemma, via email

GIRL WITH A DILEMMA: Split the difference. By this, I mean do inform your teacher, but don't do it verbally by visiting the teacher in person after class or during the teacher's office hours.

Instead, type out a printed note and mail it with a stamp to your school and address it to your teacher. Explain in the note exactly what you witnessed in granular detail and mention that your conscience will not allow you to overlook this issue, but also mention that you don't wish to come forward in person at this time.

From there, your teacher can decide how to handle the matter. And if your teacher does not take any immediate action by speaking to the "cheating student" directly right away, your teacher will no doubt keep a close eye open to see if future cheating by this individual occurs.

Proceeding in this manner will allow you to receive relief from your conscious conscience and inform your teacher to be aware of the situation at the same time. It takes you out of the matter and allows your teacher to decide how to proceed best going forward.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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