DR. WALLACE: My mom has previously told me all about the eclectic boyfriend she had back in college, years before she met my father. And she always mentioned his beard, long hair and "hippie" mentality of living off the land and not buying into things "the man" wanted him to do.

But when I found a boyfriend who similarly had a beard and long hair last year, my mother flipped out! She said he looked like a mean and violent biker who will make me tattoo his name on my ankle or shoulder. She couldn't be further from the truth about this guy if she tried to be! He's kind, gentle and easygoing all the time. He loves and respects me and he's not worried about "the man" or any other man for that matter. He only wants to eat healthy food, to keep our planet healthy and to keep me happy. I think that's all pretty good. Don't you agree that my mom is a huge hypocrite on this topic? — Under A Double Standard, via email

UNDER A DOUBLE STANDARD: I agree that your mother is apparently judging your boyfriend entirely on his looks rather than getting to know his personality better. And coming from a woman who once dated a man with similar looks, this does not appear to make much logical sense.

See if you can set up a Saturday afternoon lunch with the three of you. Be sure to tell your boyfriend in advance to speak up and carry a meaningful conversation with your mother. You can chime in here and there, but do your best to let the two of them speak to each other as much as possible. I trust that at the end of the lunch your mother's perspective will likely change for the better.

THE 'TIP BAIT' TRICK STINKS!

DR. WALLACE: I just got a job this summer delivering food and I like it a lot for many reasons, like the flexible hours and being able to make tips in addition to my hourly wage.

But recently, I've encountered a problem where customers "tip bait" me in an effort to get their food faster, perhaps before other customers who might be ahead of them in the delivery line.

Delivery drivers like me call this maneuver "tip baiting" because the customer will enter a large tip with their original order, but then once the food actually arrives, they will reduce the tip amount a lot or even give no tip at all!

I think these customers think that the high initial tip amount will cause drivers to rush the food to their doors, but the company that I work for has a policy to follow the route and sequence they give me each night, and so that's just what I do. So what can I do about this "tip baiting?" — Delivery Driver, via email

DELIVERY DRIVER: Your company has it right. All customer deliveries should follow the corporate guidelines and be as close to first come, first served as possible, with the only exceptions being cases of driving right by a valid delivery location on the way to another one. I trust your company has computer software to set your schedule and routes and that's how it should be to ensure everyone gets the best service possible.

Several of my relatives have worked in various service industries over the years and were compensated in part by tips from customers. The advice they all have given me over the years is to remain professional at all times, smile and even in cases of extremely weak or absent tips, ask politely how you can improve your service the next time.

Most customers will get the hint, or at least explain why they are upset. And in some cases, cultural differences can come into play. Not every country is a "tipping society" to the degree that America is, but most foreign visitors, once they understand our local customs, are fine with participating in our usual commercial practices, which include tipping. For these reasons, stay strong and positive. Don't worry about those few who attempt to play games with drivers or delivery companies. Usually your grateful customers will more than make up for those that are not if they receive good, friendly, reliable and timely service. Keep up the good work!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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