DR. WALLACE: My mom says I have shortcomings and should come to terms with them. Is she right about this? For example, she always tells me that I procrastinate and that I'm way too casual when it comes to looking out for my personal safety when I go out with a group of friends.

She also tells me that I'm pretty selfish and that I should work on being less selfish before I get older and my habit "sets itself in cement"!

You get the picture. I actually do have some good qualities, but my mother only ever points out the ones she doesn't like, and then she wants me to make immediate changes.

Is this fair? Why do you think she does this? — I Already Know I'm Not Perfect, via email

I ALREADY KNOW I'M NOT PERFECT: Your situation is not as unusual as you may think. Many teens write in with various similar takes on this very situation, but I will grant you that every case is unique even though they may have some similarities.

Ironically, your mother's desire to point these things out to you (from her myopic point of view) is likely born out of love, not a desire to tear you down. She probably uses this method aimed in her mind at helping you, even though you often don't appreciate the way she delivers her suggestions. And furthermore, I agree with you that she should praise you for the things you do well. After all, nobody is perfect, and some balance is in order here.

I suggest that the next time your mother goes on one of her diatribes about your shortcomings, you should then take the opportunity to politely ask her to mix in at least one or two of your good qualities as well. Tell her that you'll be able to listen to and consider her suggestions much better if she sprinkles in some nice (and true!) comments about your good qualities.

Then tell her that in return for softening her approach, you'll commit to thinking carefully about what she says to you, and that you'll try to make a few gradual improvements in one or two areas you might concede that you could do a little better in.

This might be a productive compromise for the two of you and make your interactions easier to roll with. With a little practice you might find ways to toss a little self-deprecating humor into the mix as well. You'd be surprised at how far that goes if it's delivered carefully, tastefully and well.

IS GRANDMA PULLING MY LEG ON THIS ONE?

My grandma told me she plays chair volleyball at her senior center; is she just messing with me or is this a real thing? And if it is, would it still be considered a sport?

I ask because she has a clever sense of humor, and this might just be another one of her practical jokes being played at my expense! I'm 16 and she always tells me that I'm her favorite granddaughter, but again the joke is on me, because although she has five grandsons, I'm her only granddaughter! What do you think? Is she pulling my leg again? — Wary of Grandma's Stories, via email

WARY OF GRANDMA'S STORIES: This actually is a thing in some areas! Yes, your grandmother is quite a colorful character who enjoys playing practical jokes and word games with you, but it does appear in this case that she's being honest here. Many communities around the nation have various physical activities for seniors to participate in that can help them to maintain and expand their mobility while giving them a healthy outlet to engage in a bit of friendly competition. I'll bet your spry grandmother is quite the player.

I suggest that you tell her that you're proud of her and that you'd like to attend one of her games so that you can watch her in action and root for her to do well!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Foundry at Pixabay